Its somewhat fitting to follow a Sigma Six post with this HISS toy since it was part of Hasbro’s Direct To Consumer line after the 3 3/4″ Joes had disappeared from the toy aisles and Sigma Six reigned supreme. While the DTC figures were mostly shameless kitbashes of older figures, we actually got a couple of pretty good vehicles in this short lived line, and this HISS tank was damn sure one of them.

The coolest thing about the DTC HISS tank is that it wasn’t a complete redesign and it didn’t try to make itself look like a giant fucking snake. Its design takes the original tried-and-true HISS tank and makes some sensible modifications. The result is an all around better designed vehicle, with more playability, and dammit, it just looks awesome. What’s also cool is that this new HISS looks perfectly fine sitting next to the original. Because they work well together, I just like to refer to this one as my Special Weapons HISS or Heavy Assault HISS.

Instead of being all black, this HISS has a substantial amount of coppery trim. The missile launchers, the tread plates and the trim around the canopy are all matte copper colored and all of these pieces have some nice weathering to give the toy some character. Many of the stickers are reminiscent of the old HISS tank. One thing worth noting, the huge vacant surface under the canopy on the front looks like its screaming for detail, like it was supposed to get a sticker, but Hasbro forgot. I guess that’s fitting since for some reason I still haven’t put the stickers on my older HISS tank either.

While the old HISS design was content with just two laser cannons on the top, this model has a whopping eight firing missiles. Four of these take the place of the old HISS’ dorsal guns and can be rotated 360 degrees as well as elevated up for surface to air fire. The dorsal launchers can also be configured in two different ways, either with the gunner in front of the launchers or behind them like the old HISS guns. The other four missiles are “chasers” positioned broadside on each side of the canopy. Lastly, there’s two pivoting machine guns situated just under the nose. Yep, this thing is loaded for bear.

Probably the biggest and most practical change to this HISS design is the ability to fit troops into the back. The side panels open, or can be removed entirely, to allow access to the interior. There are benches along each side for troops to sit. Granted, you can’t fit a lot of them back here, and the shaft from the dorsal gun gets in the way, but its a really cool feature. It would have been nice if the tailgate dropped, but alas it does not.

The DTC HISS came with a figure, but it was a real piece of shit, and I traded him away or lost him, or did something with him a long time ago, so I can’t show him to you. He was basically just a red repaint of Night Creeper if that means anything to you. Why the fuck Hasbro decided to pack a ninja in with this vehicle is beyond me. Either way, he quickly got the boot in favor of a 25th Anniversary HISS driver. Which reminds me, while the pegs on this thing do not fit the current figures, everything else about this toy is modern era friendly, so you can use this tank with your 25th Anni. figures or even your ROC figures.

I have no idea how common this thing is these days or how much it goes for. I do remember that there was a time when I could have ordered all that I wanted for $20 each, but at the time I was taking a stand against army building, so I was content with the one. Besides online, Toys R Us continued to carry the DTC toys and figures during the dark times of Sigma Six, so it was possible to walk into a toy store and buy one of these, so long as it was a TRU.

If you already have one of these, then you know how friggin awesome it is. If you don’t, go find one. While the original HISS will always have a special place in my heart, this one is the only model to come after it that is worthy of the name.

Next time, we’ll look at a really shitty HISS tank design.

Oh, you know which one I’m talking about….