Masters of the Universe Classics: Battleground Teela by Mattel

This month was one of those crazy occasions where I found myself actually at home and on a computer at 12pm on a Matty Sale Day, so I was able to get all three of the figures on my wanted list. On the downside, apart from Whiplash, who oddly enough sold out in under 10 minutes, I could have still picked up Teela and The Faceless One had I not logged in to make my purchase until 3pm… the next day. None of the first issue figures sold fast and last I checked Grizzlor was still lingering and tempting me to pick him up. Either way, I was able to buy my figures and after the usual ridculously long shipping time, now I can feature them here. I thought I’d start off this MOTUC Trifecta with Battleground Teela, as I was really curious about what she was going to be like.

I guess Matty was using shipping mailers for a while, but I never got anything I ordered from them in anything other than a box. Of course, this shipment came with all three boxed figures thrown into a bigger box with absolutely no packing whatsoever. Matty sure charges a premium for slow and crappy shipping and I’ll keep pointing that out here until they decide to change it. Anyway, Teela comes in the standard MOTUC packaging. The presentation is still awesome, and it’s still a line that I wouldn’t mind having a second of every figure to keep carded if only they weren’t so expensive. I was half expecting some kind of sticker on the bubble to somehow single this figure out for being such a strange, niche offering from the minicomics. Even holding the packaged figure in my hand, I was still questioning its very existence. The bio on the back tries to tie it in with the main line, but even so, I can’t think of this figure as Teela. Let’s look at the figure and see why.

Well, for starters it looks nothing like the Teela we all know. Ok, she actually shares the same arms and legs from regular flavor Teela, but she’s wearing wearing a valkyrie-type metal bra and furry diaper. The bra is a separate sculpted piece, which is appreciated since you can use the strap on the back to store her sword. I also suppose it would be pretty simple to get off if you were some kind of perv and so motivated. Her furry diaper is basically just a female version of the stock kind used on He-Man and so many of the other figures in the line. The sculpted bracers and bicep straps have been repainted from original Teela to match this figure’s belt. Overall, it’s a pretty cool looking ensemble for a warrior chick.

The body sculpt is nice in that she’s both powerful looking and feminine at the same time. The new torso is fairly close to Teela’s build but that’s where the similarities end. The head sculpt is more angular and chisled than the Teela I know and her lips are slightly pursed, as if she’s pausing to decide whether to shoot you or hack you to bits. Her blond hair is sculpted as if its blowing a bit and unfortunately it really inhibits the articulation in her neck. Again, it’s a great looking sculpt, but if you’re expecting the same old Teela in a different outfit, this isn’t it.

Teela comes with two accessories: A laser pistol and a sword. The whole mix of swords and technology has always been one of my favorite things about the MOTU universe, so I’m always happy to see a figure come with both a gun and a blade. I really like the sculpt used for the laser pistol and the silver finish fits it nicely. I was a little irked that the barrel on mine was warped in the package, but it’s managed to straighten out fairly well. The sword is a nice, simple design with a broad triangular blade and a straight crossguard.

Teela features standard female articulation for the line with one nice addition. That means a ball jointed neck, and arms with universal joints in the shoulders, hinged elbows, and swivels in the biceps and wrists. Her legs have universal movement in the hips and hinges in the knees and ankles. She also has that extra pivot in the feet to allow her to have a wide stance. What’s the additional point? She can actually swivel at the waist, but still no hinge for the ab crunch.

So, yeah, I really like this figure, even though she isn’t going to fit into my collection as a Teela variant. I guess I’ll have to come up for a name and backstory for her myself. Maybe she’s the daughter of He-Man and Teela thrown back in time and known only as She-Man? He-La? Or maybe not. Either way, she’s an awesome looking figure and a cool addition to the line, even if I can’t imagine that even too many of the hardcore MOTU fans were screaming for a Minicomics Teela.