The Princess Bride is a movie that I absolutely love and for some reason never seem to re-watch a lot these days. I’m not sure why that is, but maybe it’s because I overdid it back when it first hit home video. I was surprised to see McFarlane turn up with the license, not only because it was a weird fit among their sea of DC Comics and Warhammer figures, but also because the film has received so little merchandising over the years. Either way, I wasn’t in on these figures when they were first released, but earlier this year they hit the bargain bins and I was able to snap up the regular figures for under ten bucks each and the Mega Figure, Fezzik, for $16. So, let’s just tackle the whole damn thing today! Inconceivable? Nah, we can do this!

The five figures come in window boxes with the front window wrapping around to the sides and a bit on top to let lots of light in. The printed backdrop features art from the movie poster and it really elevates the presentation. Also, for some reason Fizzini, gets some added floral deco around the top corners of the box, which the other figure boxes all lack. But, he was part of the second wave, so I’m guessing they all had that. The boxes are mostly collector friendly, but in typical McFarlane fashion you will have to tear the figure stands off the backing if you want to use them. The line consisted of Westley as The Dread Pirate Roberts, Princess Buttercup, Inigo Montoya, Vizzini, and Fezzik. McFarlane also produced variants of all of these figures except Vizzini. Westley and Inigo got bloodied versions, Buttercup got a different color dress, and Fezzik got a cloak. Even at deep discount, I didn’t go for the variants, so we’ll be sticking to the regular releases. Let’s start with Westley!

Obviously this figure is more about the sculpt than the paint, as the outfit is all black with just a few silver paint hits to the belt fixtures and scabbard. Still, there are some nice flourishes in the sculpt, including the puffy sleeves, leather texturing on the boots and gauntlets, and whatever that is going on in the shoulders. It looks like chainmail, but I’m thinking it’s probably supposed to be some kind of weave. There are some loose ends of the sculpted scarf wrapped around his waist, and you get all sorts of wrinkles and rumples in the outfit itself. The pins are a little clunky, but otherwise I think the figure looks really good.

The head sculpt is passable. Granted, they only had the eyes and the lower half of the face to work with so I’m not going to go too hard on the likeness. The fact that the mask is actually a separate sculpted piece is great because it creates a lot of depth and definition against the underlying eyes, which are extremely well painted. The facial hair looks a bit more like dirt than hair, and he was pretty clean shaven in the film, so I’m not sure why they added that. The neck and chest portion are also sculpted separately from the body, creating immaculate lines between the skin and suit. If you want an unmasked Westley, you gotta go for the bloodied variant.

The rapier is a really impressive piece for this scale. It’s made entirely from bendy plastic and yet everything holds its shape very well. The hilt looks just like the sword used on screen and the blade fits into the scabbard very smoothly. The right hand is pretty stiff, so it’s a bit of a chore getting it into the grip, but at least that makes for a tight grip.

As for articulation, you get pretty much everything we’ve been seeing out of McFarlane’s DC Multiverse line, which means lots of useful points, including toe hinges, but no thigh swivels. Unfortunately, the frustrating and unsightly ball jointed ankles are here, but they aren’t all that offensive on this figure. The puffy sculpt to the arms definitely impede the elbow movement, but he’s still plenty of fun to pose and play with. I like this figure a lot, and even if you aren’t all that into the movie, if you’re looking for a solid Pirate/Zoro/Swashbuckler in this scale, he’s just the ticket! Next up… Inigo Montoya.

If you killed his father, prepare to die! While I wouldn’t call the costume colorful, Inigo at least varies things up by going from all black to Earth tones. Here you The beige long sleeve shirt, belt, and charcoal tunic are all part of the same sculpt, both of which are cast in soft plastic and worn by the figure. The trousers are painted chocolate brown and there’s a bit of brown and charcoal on the boots to give them a worn and leathery look. The belt buckle has some sharp gold paint, adding a little splash of color. There’s nothing mind blowing here, but he looks pretty damn good!

The head sculpt sports a pretty solid likeness to Mandy Patinkin in the film, with maybe just a bit of a toony filter. The full coif is sculpted separately from the head and the mustache is pretty well done. You do get the infamous McFarlane side-eye, which was all the rage back when these figures were produced. Honestly, I don’t think it’s all that problematic here. The portrait is punctuated by the Inigo’s trademark pair of scars, one on each cheek. All in all, I think this portrait came out really well.

The articulation is identical to what we saw with Westley, although you can get a much tighter bend out of Inigo’s double-hinged elbows. There are slits in the sides of the tunic to keep from inhibiting the hip movement, and the ugly ankle ball joints are mostly concealed by the sculpted split-boots. I did, have some problems getting his ankle rockers to work, particularly the left one, but he may just need a hot bath.

I’m kind of torn on Inigo’s rapier. On the one hand, the hilt is a crazy complex design for this scale, and I think McFarlane did an admirable job recreating it, but it definitely feels oversized. But, I don’t want to come down on it too hard, because it would have probably been tough to do it any smaller, and it really does look just like the hilt on the screen-used prop. The blade, on the other hand, feels too small, but I think that’s just because the hilt is enlarged. I don’t recall whether Inigo had a scabbard or if he just thrust his rapier through his belt, but it would have been cool to at least have a loop so he could wear it. With all that having been said, this is another solid figure! Moving on to Princess Buttercup!

McFarlane made the ambitious choice to go with both sculpted plastic and softgoods to recreate Buttercup’s dress and I think it was a great idea. The arms and chest are plastic with fabric texturing, while the red cloth dress tucks in under the chest and cascades down to the ground. The cloth is light enough to fall about the figure naturally and I like the long train it leaves behind her. Very regal! Sure, the difference between textured plastic and cloth is obvious, but they did a very nice job matching the color and I think the end result looks great. The plastic belt is a little clunky, but it allows for a sharp gold printed pattern. The arms do suffer from what I like to call wizard sleeves, where they are sagging down no matter what position they’re in, but that sort of thing can’t be helped.

The portrait… well, it’s not the best likeness, that’s for sure, but I don’t think the likeness is totally off. I think the nose is the big problem here. Robin Wright’s nose looks a lot more prominent as she’s gotten older, but I don’t remember it being quite this pronounced when she was younger and in this role. This looks more like a House of Cards Robin Wright nose. Again, you get the side eye, which is off-putting in a lot of poses. I will say that they did a fantastic job sculpting her hair, as it’s both complex and extremely sharp. The tiny earrings are impressive too. In the end, the portrait is not a disaster, but there’s room for improvement.

Buttercup has full articulation under that skirt, with her legs completely sculpted in red plastic to match the dress. Obviously, by going with softgoods, she doesn’t suffer from teepee syndrome, where the legs are useless because of a plastic cone dress. Unfortunately, she doesn’t come with any accessories. Maybe, the softgoods ate up the budget for extras, but just a couple accessories would have been nice. A plastic blindfold to slip over her head? Or maybe a dagger? To be honest, I didn’t think I was going to like this figure much, but I’m actually quite pleased with how she turned out.

The final figure in the initial assortment is the Mega Figure Fezzik and he sure is big! There’s a lot of cool things going on here and a few not so great thing. The outfit is just fantastic. The burlap-style tunic is all cast in soft plastic and worn by the figure and boy is the texture executed perfectly. Even the way it’s sculpted to cinch around the belt looks pretty damn convincing, as does the cuffs on the sleeves overlap the wrists. The billowy pants have some striped texturing and the boots feature a leather-like finish. The articulation takes a big step back with rotating hinges in the knees and ankles instead of double hinges, but that’s understandable. One thing I don’t like is the lack of wrist rotation and the big clunky hinges they used for the wrists. That’s just a poor design choice.

And alas, the portrait here is kind of a mess. I’m not sure if it’s the sculpt or the paint or a bit of both, but the likeness came out really cartoony and I’m not a big fan of the Bob Ross hair piece. Also, those mutton chops are awful. It looks like shit is literally leaking out his ears and onto his cheeks. I mean, sure I can tell it’s Andre the Giant, but with a head this big, it seems like they could have done a little better.

Fezzik comes with two accessories: A rock and a peanut. The peanut isn’t so much an accessory but a reference to a line where Fezzik and Inigo are making rhymes and Fezzik says, “Anyone want a peanut.” There was no peanut. It was a joke. And that makes the accessory kind of bewildering, especially since there’s no way for him to even hold it or interact with it. The rock is decent enough.

The final figure is Vizzini, and he was the only figure included in the second assortment that wasn’t a variant. He sports a pretty complex green tunic with a deep cut grid and circlets in each of the squares. Like the other dudes in this wave, the tunic is sculpted separately from the body in soft plastic, but look at those arms! He reminds me of George Costanza in the Gortex coat. The arms hand down in an awkward fashion and the upper body makes his legs seem really disproportionately small. It’s a shame because there really is some very nice sculpt and paintwork on this outf.

The portrait is decent enough, but like Westley I think they went overboard on the five o’clock shadow. Also, the side eye is especially egregious here. Still, I think the likeness to Wallace Shawn is mostly there and when combined with Playmates old Grand Nagus figure from their Star Trek line, I can proudly say that I now have two Wallace Shawn figures in my collection!

The articulation here is obviously hindered a lot by those arm sculpts, although I think the figure looks much better with the arms raised than awkwardly hanging down. The puffy sculpted sleeves grant very limited range in those elbows, similar to what we saw with Westley. Everything from the waist down is standard McFarlane fare.

Vizzini does come with a pair of chalices. Is one of them poisoned, or both!?!

I like these figures, I’m glad to own them, but I’m also glad I didn’t spend full price on them. Even the usual sales didn’t tempt me until they hit the bottom of the clearance bin. All told, I think I spent a little over $50 on them all, which is like buying two and getting the rest for free. The variant versions of each figure are starting to hit some pretty low clearance prices at different sites, but I think I’ll stick with what I’ve got. Ultimately, I think these figures range from really good to pretty average, but it’s nice to see the movie getting some action figure love. Super7 did show off a wave of retro-style Princess Bride ReAction figures, and oddly enough those are hitting some sites at clearance prices while they’re still on pre-order, and I can’t even wrap my head around that.