Jun 11 2013

Transformers Kre-O: Optimus Prime by Hasbro, Part 1

I’ve had this beauty sitting in my closet for months waiting for the right time to build it, well I was on vacation last week and it seemed like a good time. While I have been more or less impressed with the three or four Transformers Kre-O kits that I have built, Prime here was the last one that I plan to pick up. The direction the new stuff has taken doesn’t interest me as much and I just think my brick-monies are better spent if I kept channeling them into Lego. Anyway, this thing is a beast of a set and, like all Kre-O Transformers, it needs to be built twice, so I’m doing this guy in two parts because considering the amount of time I had to spend on him, I’m damn well going to get two features out of him. Today I’ll kick it off with the packaging, Kreons, and the vehicle mode, and tomorrow I’ll be back to check out the robot and the battle station!

Holy hell, this box is HUGE. I guess that’s to be expected since I’m pretty sure this set is the largest Transformers Kre-O kit to date. Prime comes in the same briefcase style case that is designed to close up and store the pieces. The front shows off an illustration of the toy, while the back shows actual pictures of what you’re building. Keep in mind, if you want to put the stickers on as they are in the picture, you won’t be able to take the cab apart. Also, I’m not sure how their “3-in-1” math works out. You can build it as a vehicle or as the robot and battlestation. That’s more like “2-in1” in my book. Anyway, I’ve kept the boxes for all my other Kre-O sets, but I doubt I’ll keep this one. It’s been leaning up against the wall in one of my toy closets for a while now and I’m kind of anxious to get rid of it. Besides, once I break this set down again and put the pieces into baggies, it’ll take up a lot less space.

On second thought, I may have to keep it, as the cat has adopted it as his new bed… right in the middle of my attempt to build it. Here’s another illustration of why cats and Lego (or even imitation Lego) don’t mix. He may have thought he was helping because he did actually chew some of the parts off their sprues.

Inside the box (cat not included) you get two large color instruction books and like a thousand baggies of bricks. Ok, it’s probably not a thousand bags. It’s probably more like six or seven bags. They weren’t numbered so I can’t be sure. And therein is the true fun or torture of this set. Since the bags aren’t numbered, or even grouped in any special way, you have to dump them all together and that leads to a ton of sorting and searching and hunting. I actually kind of enjoyed the added challenge on the 200-300 piece sets, but Optimus is nearly 550 pieces and to be honest, it got to be a real pain in the ass after a while. The color coding in the instructions is also a bitch. It’s tough to tell what’s supposed to be black, grey, dark grey, or metallic grey, and since a lot of times you’re dealing with the same piece in multiple colors, you need to just go with your gut and hope for the best. There were times when I realized I probably used a dark grey 2×2 when I was supposed to use a light grey 2×2, because that’s all I had left. Most of the time it doesn’t matter, but it’s worth pointing out that building this was more challenging than any Lego set I’ve ever done. The recommended age group is 8 to 14, which I believe actually means that if an 8 year old starts it, he can be expected to finish it by the time he hits 14. Anyway, when you’re all done with the first build, you get five Kreons, two motorcycles, and Prime’s cab and trailer. Let’s start with the Kreons…

The set includes three Transformer Kreons and two human Kreons. The Transformers are the ones I really care about. They’re the original kind that are just cute little collectible figures and cannot transform. I adore these stupid little things and I think they lost a lot of their charm when Hasbro started making them with crappy alt modes. The set has Optimus Prime, Smokescreen, and Skywarp. It’s an eclectic mix, but I love them all. They’re all excellent, but I think Skywarp is my favorite. I like the way they did the wings and the doors on him and Smokescreen. Prime also has little clip-on smokestacks on his arms. All three of these little guys are excellent.

The humans are the same Kreon with their colors changed around. You get motorcycle helmets and hats for each, so they can be used to work in the battle station or drive the motorcycles. They’re ok. I’ll confess while I’m not a big fan of the human Kreon styles, it is nice to have some human figures in scale with the robots. The motorcycles are kind of shitty. They’re each made up of two ill-fitting halves with wheels popped on. I guess they’re ok for what they are, but I don’t have much use for them.

Generally, I find the vehicle modes of the past Kre-O sets I built to be a bit wanting. Prime’s cab, on the other hand, is excellent and took me the bulk of the time to build. It’s very involved and the end result is well worth the effort. The instructions get rather silly with the placement of Autobot stickers, suggesting that I put two on the hood and three on the roof. I opted for just one on the roof. For a Lego-style vehicle, I think this thing looks great.

The doors open and there’s room for one Kreon to sit at the wheel and yes, if you’re feeling wacky you can actually have Prime drive himself. The back portion of the cab can pull off to reveal a little workstation for the Kreons. I actually thought this would be part of the battlestation, so I didn’t shoot any pictures and then found that I had to cannibalize it for the second build. Oops!

The trailer is scaled just a little shorter than I would have liked, but it still looks really nice when hitched up to the cab. It holds together pretty well for what is basically a shell. The Autobot symbols and striping on the sides are printed on, which is a welcome treat since the Kre-O stickers don’t stay on for shit. The back door can drop down to form a ramp and you can put both motorcycles inside. You can also break it apart at the top and swing both halves apart to give you access inside. There’s not much going on in there and it seems like Hasbro could have delivered a little more, but it’s cool nonetheless. I’m tempted to cannibalize my Lego City Police Mobile Crime Lab for parts and load this thing out with equipment.

So far, this Kre-O Prime doesn’t disappoint. Yes, the build got on my nerves, and I definitely recommend doing a proper color-coded sort of the parts before tackling his build. It won’t eradicate all the frustration, because you’ll still spend some time guessing which color part to use next, but it will help. Once built, however, Prime is the best looking Kre-O vehicle I own, and I can’t deny that getting Kreons of Prime, Smokescreen, and Skywarp makes me very happy. Tomorrow, we’ll tear this bastard down and start all over again with his robot mode and his battlestation!

Jun 7 2013

Transformers Generations: Blitzwing by Hasbro.

ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

That sums up my feelings for this figure. Thanks for stopping by. Don’t forget to like me on Facebook. Please contribute to my Kickstarter Project to support my Blitzwing and Springer hardcore Slash Fic Novel, Tanks for the Reach Around. See y’all tomorrow…

Oh… ok, I’ll elaborate. If a figure sucks, it’s not a big deal to me. I can either not buy it or if I did buy it, just toss it into a bin and be done with it. It sucks, why should I bother with it? I move on. But when a figure shows glimmerings of greatness… when a figure teases with potential and yet stumbles because of stupid, easily fixed design flaws, it really cheeses me off. That’s especially the case when it’s a figure based on a character I love and have strong nostalgic feelings for. I love Blitzwing for a lot of reasons. One, he was the only Triple-changer that I owned as a kid and I loved playing with him. Two, “Triple Takeover” is one of my favorite episodes of the Sunbow series. In it, Blitzwing has that one classic line of dialogue where he says to a human, “Tell me what’s on your mind or I’ll splatter it on the wall and see for myself” It’s so bewilderingly and inappropriately brutal for a children’s cartoon that it makes me smile every time I hear it. And finally, Blitzwing is a jet that turns into a tank. He dominates in both land and air. Oh yeah, and his name is Blitzwing… that’s awesome. Hasbro finally gives him a greatly needed update and they stumble on some of the stupidest little things.

I’ve got a lot to say, so I’m not going to waste time on the packaging. I’ll cover the packaging more when I do my feature on Springer next week. Let’s just dive in. And I’m going to break tradition here and start with Blitzwing’s robot mode…

…I think it’s fantastic. Look at him. He’s everything I would want in an update to Blitzwing. He’s well-proportioned, the treads look fine on his legs, and the sculpting and painted detail that flanks the cockpit on his chest resembles the stickers on the old toy. You also get some display options, like whether or not to point his shoulder wings out or fold them back (I prefer the later) and you can choose to display him with his tank barrel up or back. I think both look fine, but my old G1 toy was so loose from play that it usually defaulted to the down position. Blitzwing comes with a sword and a gun, both of which can be utilized in his alt modes. I’m not often a fan of swords with my Transformers, but I really like the sculpt on Blitzwing’s sword.

Yes, Blitzwing has a controversial face change gimmick. I don’t care about the extra faces. It’s an unnecessary fanwank back to the TF: Animated figure in a figure that should be a nod back to the original G1 character. The faces are too difficult to change anyway. I did it once and I thought I was going to scrape the rubbery faces off with my thumb nail. Seriously, I’m not even going to photograph them. Forget about them. Some have groused over the default G1 style face, but I’m fine with it.

Of course, Blitzwing’s robot mode has one really shitty flaw. The shoulders do not stay pegged in. If I so much as touch his arms, they unpeg and flop around. I’ve tried fiddling with them. I’ve tried Peaugh’s trick, which sadly doesn’t work on my figure. I’ve even tried gumming them up with blue tack. Nothing works. If you squeeze the shoulders while manipulating his arms, they stay in place, but anything else and the entire shoulder assembly just crumbles apart. A simple tab that actually snapped into place would have fixed this whole fatal issue.

Let’s do Blitzwing’s jet mode next, because next to the problem shoulders, it’s here where I find the figure stumbles the most. For a Triple-changer, I think the jet mode looks pretty good, It was really tough for me to get everything to peg in the way it’s supposed to, but after a couple of times, I finally got it down. If you don’t do it exactly right the arms that make up the back of the aircraft constantly want to pop out and the instructions aren’t a whole lot of help. I’m also not really keen on the way his feet and rear wings just hang off the back on ball joints. You constantly have to adjust them to keep them looking right. I do, however, like the way you can clip his sword to his back to fill up what would otherwise be an unsightly hollow area, and you can even plug his gun on top of that to give him some extra firepower. Like I said, this is not a bad jet mode for a Triple-changer. So what’s the problem?

The f’cking rubbery nosecone. It simply will not close up over his giant spring-loaded head no matter what I do. It never closes completely and given a little time it will default to the mess you see above. Fortunately, there’s a cheap fix for this…

Yup, take off Blitzwing’s head. It slides right out. So, yeah… I have to decapitate him in order to transform him, and even then the nosecone doesn’t really lock up all that well. Here’s where I think Hasbro ‘s intrepid band of designers should have reasoned: “It’s very probable that the fans would rather have a robot with a head small enough to transform properly over one with a terribly executed face change gimmick.” Seriously, I don’t mind the gimmick being there, but obviously if they had omitted it, the head could have been downsized enough to make the transformation work. And why make the entire nosecone out of that shitty rubber and not just the tip like on other Transformer jets? Ok, let’s move on to the tank mode.

I’ve heard people ragging on Blitzwing’s tank mode, but honestly, I think it works Ok. Again, he’s a Triple-changer and I’m willing to forgive certain design flaws. It pegs together fairly well and since the nosecone is concealed under the tank’s body, it tends to work for me a little better than the jet mode. The turret will turn, although it pivots awkwardly toward the front. You can plug his gun into the top and the barrel will fire a missile if you slide it back. There are peg holes on the side if you want to just plug his sword in there rather than have it loose.

And so, my beloved Blitzwing… one of my most anticipated Transformers figures in a long while, turned out to be a bitter disappointment. Still, I am not in any way sorry I bought him. He looks AMAZING standing on the shelf in robot mode, and to be honest, that’s what he’ll spend most of his time doing anyway. In robot mode, he looks like everything I wanted in an update of the character. But I hate to look at a toy on my shelf and have to think about how poorly designed it is and what a bother it is to transform and know that if I pick him up and play with him his shoulders will fall apart. I’m tempted to buy another and just glue his shoulders in place. It’ll cripple his transformation, but at least I can play around with him in robot mode. Then again, I really don’t want to reward Hasbro for such shitty engineering. I think the saddest thing about Blitzwing is that there’s nothing wrong with this figure that couldn’t have been easily fixed had he spent a little more time on the drawing board.

Jun 5 2013

Transformers Classics: Jetfire by Hasbro

I had a lot of fun checking out TF:U King Atlas last week, so I thought I’d pull out another Autobot jet that I haven’t featured yet on FFZ… It’s Jetfire! How is it possible that in over three years of doing this toy nonsense, I never looked at Jetfire here? I loved Jetfire in the Sunbow cartoon and while I’m not going to sit here and say I didn’t love the Macross style G1 toy, I always wanted something a little closer to the animated counterpart. Was this Classics release it? No, not really. There are some obvious homages here and there, but in the end Classics Jetfire is more a reimagining of the character then a direct update. I’ve had this guy in my collection for a while and the package is long gone, so we’re going to get right to the figure. As always, let’s start with his alt mode!

Like the original G1 toy, Jetfire has removable booster rockets, giving him the ability to be displayed in a basic jet mode. To be honest, I usually display him with the boosters on, but I love having the option to outfit him the way I want, especially since his vanilla jet mode looks so bitchin. The design borrows from both the Sunbow and the original toy designs, but I see more of the old Valkyrie style here than anything else. You get the same swept back wings, which can be positioned forward, the same dual rear fins, and even the folded feet thrusters all nod back to the old Macross style. The bulk of the toy is bare white plastic, which looks so much better than the stuff that Hasbro uses today. It’s detailed with beautiful red paintwork all very reminiscent of the G1 figure.

From the Sunbow side of things, we get a squared off nose and a blue cockpit. Compromise isn’t always a good thing, as collectors looking for a jet design that is accurate to either the G1 toy or the G1 cartoon will both be disappointed. I’d still like to see a straight Sunbow version of him at some point, but I still think this toy has a great looking jet mode that hits all the right points.

If you turn Jetfire over, you can see his arms and fists as clear as day. That doesn’t bother me so much as you’re almost always going to have some robo-kibble on jets in this size of toy. Plus the two missile launchers that peg onto the arms under the wings do their part to conceal it from the sides. Jetfire also features three working landing gear and a very nicely detailed cockpit.

Jetfire’s booster rocket pack simply pegs right onto his back in one big assembly. All you need to do is fold down his rear fins. It matches the iconic look of the old Valkyrie-style jet beautifully. He looks totally bad ass, and this is my favorite way to display him when he’s parked in jet mode. By sliding back the rear of the red frame you can deploy two spring loaded cannon.

Transforming Jetfire is fairly simple, although there are a few clever things at work. As already mentioned, the arms are practically complete even when in jet mode. You can remove his missile launchers, but it isn’t necessary for transformation as they wind up right where they should, mounted onto his arms and ready to fire at Decepticon fools. His feet and legs fold out just as I remember the old toy did. The chest and torso uses some cool new engineering, like swinging the arms up to the shoulders, and splitting the nosecone to beef out the chest.

In robot mode, Jetfire sheds most of his G1 toy roots, and while he skews a bit more toward his Sunbow animated design, this toy’s bot mode is mostly his own. Any disappointment I ever had about him not being more Sunbow accurate quickly washed away because he’s such a glorious looking figure, and there’s certainly no doubt who he supposed to be. He manages to still look iconic, while still representing a significant departure from the original designs.

The cockpit looks great on his chest even if it is derivative of almost all the other jet Transformers out there. I’m old school. I think jet Transformers should have their cockpits on their chests and car transformers should have their front bumpers on their chests. Not really all the time, but it’s the quintessential look for me. No pun intended. Quintesson? Ahem… moving on. I thought I’d really miss the way old school Jetfire’s back wings crossed his back, but I do dig the way this toy’s wings sweep down his back like a cape. The missile launchers on his arms invoke the G1 Seekers weaponry, which is always a great thing in my book. He’s a nice, sturdy and fun figure to play around with.

Jetfire’s stock head is fairly close to the Skyfire we all know and love, and he actually comes with a more G1 style head that fits over it like a helmet. I really don’t like the helmeted look and mine is rattling in the bottom of a tote somewhere anyway, but if I ever find it, I’ll have to do an update. I will note that the regular head looks a tad small, mainly because the cockpit juts pretty far out of his chest. The helmeted head seems to be scaled better, as it’s a tad bigger, but I still don’t like the way it looks as much. UPDATE… I FOUND HIS HELMET!!! My toy filing system is obviously better than I thought!

Yep, Classics Jetfire is one of my favorite figures in the line. That’s saying a lot, because generally speaking the Classics series figures could do no wrong by me. Sure you had a couple bombs like Tankor, and Grimlock was kind of disappointing, but Jetfire is a great figure among many great figures and he looks amazing standing in the back among the rest of the re-imagined G1 Autobots. I’ll grant you that he should have been bigger, but scale issues are a common problem in Transformers toys, so I’m not going to come down too hard on him for that. As much as I adore Classics, even I have to admit some of the toys are starting to look rather dated now, but I think Jetfire holds his own. And I just realized when shooting him besides Classics Optimus, that I haven’t featured him here before either, so I’ll have to swing back and look at him sometime next week.

May 30 2013

Transformers Universe: King Atlas by Hasbro

I’m really trying to commit to featuring at least one Toy Closet Find each week, but I don’t want to confine it to one specific day. So today’s bit of random rummaging will take us into the realm of Transformers. It’s actually not so random, as I was thinking about how badly I want the rest of my TFC Uranos figures and that got me hankering to do a feature an Autobot jet. Before Transformers Universe became part of the Classics/Generations continuity, it existed as a weird composite line of toys that promised to draw from all corners of the Transformers mythos and introduce us to new versions of characters. In theory, it sounded promising, as Hasbro suggested that it would reintroduce old and uncommon molds to the toy shelves. In practice, it was more about awful repaints of toys we were already tired of seeing on the pegs and shelves. There were, however, some bright spots to the line. Is the subject of today’s feature is one of them? Well, that’s debatable.

Once upon a time I had a huge collection of G1 Transformers. It all eventually went out the door to help bankroll the startup costs of my business. It was a pretty standard collection, although it did occasionally stray into some uncommon corners of the Transformers world. One of those more uncommon pieces I had was a boxed Dai Atlas from Transformers: The Zone. I only bring it up now, because of how amazed and impressed I was that Hasbro actually released an homage to a toy that few mainstream TF collectors would even know about. And that brings us to today’s look at King Atlas, a repaint of the Starscream toy featured in Machine Wars, which in turn was a repaint of Skyquake. I can’t decide whether I hate this toy or love it. Maybe by the end of the feature, I’ll have worked it out.

Atlas’ alt mode is a gloriously huge bomber jet. It’s a friggin epic toy of an aircraft that looks like it’s designed solely to fly over your country and seriously f’ck your shit up. I don’t imagine it’s based on any real world aircraft, as it looks like a patchwork monstrosity of flying military hardware… but in a good way! Seriously, this thing looks like hate with wings… and bombs. One of the things I dig most about the aircraft mode is that it blurs the line of realism just enough that I could probably believe this is some kind of old Cybertronian mode. King Atlas comes with six yellow bombs that peg in around the aircraft. This mold was always a cool looking toy, even back in the Machine Wars era, but to see it released as an Autobot gives me a strange sense or ironic satisfaction. No part of this warplane looks like it should be a traditional Autobot, so I’ve always counted him among my Wreckers.

While it’s hard to argue with the black Decepticon coloring of the original Starscream toy, I really like what Hasbro did to this when rebranding it as an Autobot. The bulk of the aircraft is white, but there’s a very cool paint wash that gives it a grungy grey finish. When Hasbro attempts paint washes, they usually fail horribly, but this is a case where it really worked out amazingly well. He’s got yellow stripes on the sides that give him a bit of a Y-Wing vibe, red striping on the wings, and blue rear wings. Toss in some black and you’ve got a distinctive looking deco. The Autobot emblems on the wings are painted on and they look nice and sharp.

Besides just looking cool while parked on my shelf, King Atlas’ jet mode has a couple of interesting play features. One is the range finder in the back. You can flip a switch and put the rear thruster up to your eyeball and the mirror gives you an image of what’s below the toy, so you can target your bombing runs! You can also load the bombs into the cylinders in his wings and rotate the lever so Atlas can carpet bomb Decepticon fools below him. Finally, there’s a lever on his back that can open all the black hatches on his dorsal side to reveal translucent red panels. I never knew what the purpose of this feature was, but it’s still kind of cool. Ok, enough gushing about Atlas’ jet mode… let’s transform him and see what his bot mode is all about.

Wow! If you haven’t been around vintage Transformers in a while, this guy will come as a bit of a shock. Sure, as a 90’s toy he’s not exactly vintage, but he has a lot more in common with that era than the modern toys. It’s a perfect example of just how much the subsequent Beast Wars era revolutionized Transformers toys with their introduction of ball joints and actual articulation. King Atlas features a pretty simple transformation and the end result is a brick of a toy (his only articulation is in his shoulders) with a ton of kibble, not least of which is the huge range finder hanging off his back!

He’s also an unbelievably Japanese looking robot. I know, all Transformers are Japanese, but this guy seriously looks like he’s got more in common with a Chogokin or Gundam… particularly in the head sculpt, which is straight off the original Skyquake release. I think it’s a combination of the large horns, the crest, and the weird mouth plate. The asymmetrical split of the nosecone on the legs bugs me (did I mention I’m borderline OCD?), and look at those tiny feet! Why even bother? Also noteworthy is that he has two heel spurs that fold out the back to keep that huge range finder on his back from dragging him backwards. Is this the first example of a Transformer with heel spurs? Probably not, but it’s the earliest one I can think of. Oh yeah, you can also open up his chest and store his bombs in there. That’s pretty cool.

Every now and again, I cull some Transformers out of my collection. The ones I sell or trade off are usually recolors of duplicate molds, or just figures that I bought back when I was a completest and don’t want anymore. It’s always surprising to me that King Atlas here survives the cut every time. A lot of it probably has to do with his bitchin’ jet mode, but there’s also something about his robot mode that makes me keep him around. He’s just such a weird and unique looking piece that I can’t help but hang on to him.

May 14 2013

Transformers Beast Hunters: Smokescreen by Hasbro

Folks, I am not going to be big into Beast Hunters. No, really. I’m not. I know I’ve said that before about TF: Animated and TF: Prime and in the end I bought a lot of them. I really don’t see that happening here. There are a few figures that may tempt me just because it’s such a rare treat to go to a store and actually buy a toy off the pegs these days, but I’m going to be mighty picky about any of the figures in this line that I buy. That having been said, Smokescreen was a no-brainer. He’s one of a pair of figures (the other being Shockwave) that seemed like they were planned for Prime release and so their spikey Beast Hunters rubbish are just extra bits that can be taken off and thrown away in order to give you a regular old Prime figure.

I’m not going to get into my thoughts about the direction Beast Hunters is taking the show. I haven’t watched it regularly anyway, so I don’t really feel entitled to discuss it. With the exception of Transformers comics, I’m only about the toys these days. I’ll just say that I’m sure Hasbro is trying to come up with fresh new ideas to sell the figures and, to be honest, if I were a kid I’d probably be all over this concept. Anyway, I’m not a big fan of the new packaging. TRANSFORMERS PRIME BEAST HUNTERS is quite a mouthful and the new deco just doesn’t do anything for me. Smokescreen is carded in his robot mode and there’s a sticker on the bubble advertising The Hub, which I’m frankly surprised still exists.

The back of the card shows pictures of both modes and it looks like Hasbro has really cut down their bio-writing staff because Smokescreen just gets a single line. Ok, I’m done with the packaging. As usual, I’m going to start out with Smokescreen’s alt mode.

As expected, that alt mode is a sports car and overall I think it’s pretty good. He’s got a sexy, curvy look to him. The bulk of the toy is cast in an off-white plastic with some nice red and blue paint apps and “38” on the doors to provide me with a cool little G1 fanwank. I like the tinted clear windshield and the tinted yellow headlamps. Yes, it feels like it’s missing some paint apps on the bumper and tail lights, but all in all, this is a pretty solid little car mode. I’ve got no complaints.

There are peg holes on the roof and sides of the spoiler to plug in Smokescreen’s weapon, which is a net launcher. Blah! Fortunately, you can remove the rubbery net and turn it into a perfectly serviceable little gun-slash-missile launcher.

Smokescreen also comes with his “Shadow Quill Armor.” It’s a rubbery piece of armor that fits over the front of the car kind of like an automotive bra. I gotta say, I’m not hating the way it looks on the car mode. It feels a tad out of place on a car with this kind of sporty paint job, but it gives him some nice ramming spikes, and I’m certainly down with that.

Transforming Smokescreen is a wee bit fidgety, but it’s also rather fresh and clever, and the end result is a robot with a lot of interesting stuff going on. You’ve got some really cool shoulder armor, doors that hang off his sides and kind of remind me of the holster/scabbards on Generations Drift and Blurr. The chest plate is kind of a fake out, as it’s obviously intended to be a crunched down version of the front of the car. I know some people don’t dig the whole fake out thing on Transformers, but it doesn’t bother me so much here. About the only downside to this guy is that he’s best viewed from the front because from the back he looks rather hollow and unfinished. Oh, and yes, you can put his “Shadow Quill Armor” on when he’s in robot mode, but it looks like ass, so I won’t be doing that.

Smokescreen’s coloring in bot form is pretty close to his alt mode deco. He’s still mostly off-white, although he does feature some nice red and blue paintwork on his arms and legs, a blue stripe down the front of his chest, and yellow paint to simulate his headlights in his chest. I don’t know if it’s the design of his robot mode or the deco or a little of both, but I do get a little bit of a Gundam vibe off of him. I think the only gripe I have is the paint apps on the head could have been executed a little better. It’s not bad, just a little bland. It might not just be the paint. To be honest, a lot of the Prime styled head sculpts look a little too much alike to me.

Articulation has not been a problem with the TF: Prime figures, and it isn’t here either. Smokescreen’s got a lot of poseability, making for a very fun figure. His shoulder armor can angle up so as not to inhibit his arm movement. His shoulders are hinged on a little post and then ball jointed, and his arms have swivels in the biceps and hinges in the elbows. His legs are ball jointed at the hips and then hinged at the knees and ankles. He can swivel at the waist and his head can turn side to side.

I haven’t been paying much attention to the Beast Hunter pegs, so I’m really glad I happened to spot Smokescreen on my last trip through the toy aisle. Whether or not I choose to get any more Beast Hunters figures, he makes a nice addition to my TF: Prime Autobot lineup. And that’s pretty cool, because I was all but certain I was done adding to that collection. To sweeten the deal he was only about $13, which is a couple bucks less than most of the Deluxe TFs have been as of late. I was rather tempted to pick up Ripclaw as well, but I decided to save him for another time. Now if only I could stumble across Shockwave, I’ll be a very happy camper.

May 9 2013

Transformers Unleashed: Optimus Prime by Hasbro

In the last month or so, I’ve checked a few of Hasbro’s very cool Star Wars Unleashed statues. Hasbro had a good thing going on with this line and in an effort to make lightning strike twice, they tried the same thing with Transformers. The difference? The Star Wars statues seemed like a genuine attempt to bring attractive display pieces to collectors on a budget. The Transformers statues seemed more like a quick and dirty cash grab amidst a sea of other movie related merchandise. I should be able to wrap this one up mighty quick and we can all go on with our business.

I don’t have the packaging for this wonderful object d’art any longer, but I seem to recall it coming in some sort of window box. I also need not confess to actually buying it, as it was a present from the former Mrs. FigureFan. I’m tempted to say it was well-intentioned, but unfortunately she turned out to be quite a vindictive headcase, so it could have just as easily been gifted out of spite. Anyway, the idea here is that in the true nature of the Transformers, this is actually two-Two-TWO statues in one! On one side, it’s Prime in his truck mode, but turn it around and there he is in his robot mode. You see? It’s like a Transfromer but it’s a statue!

The alt mode portion of the statue depicts Prime in his movie truck form, launching himself off a cliff against a backdrop of terrible looking translucent plastic flames. The cliff looks like it’s carved out of chocolate and there’s a huge Autobot insignia sculpted into the side. Only part of the truck is actually here because it’s partly obscured in the so-called fire. I never minded Prime being an extended front cab, but I was never a fan of this coloring. There’s way too much blue, and this statue seems to add even more. Apart from that, there are some stray splotches of paint. All in all, this looks Ok, I guess, but it’s nothing spectacular. Maybe the flipside will be better?

Nah, not really. The pose isn’t bad. Prime is bent down on one knee with a fist held out in defiance and his other arm converted into his gun. Giving Prime an arm that converts into a gun never seemed right to me. It just doesn’t fit the character. But then again, before Revenge of the Fallen I wasn’t used to seeing my childhood hero rip people’s faces off either, so I guess I need to get with the times. Either way, the statue is just being faithful to the source material, so I can’t blame it for that. In fairness, there’s a lot of sculpted detail on this guy, but it’s still not enough to effectively convey the crazy complex “bag of scissors” aesthetic of the Bayformer designs. There’s also way too much bland grey plastic here and not enough painted detail. The head is pretty unspectacular as well. The sculpt is really soft and you can’t really even see his eyes.

It’s hard to put my finger on exactly where Hasbro went wrong with this piece. Sure, aesthetically this is far from my favorite version of Prime, but I was still able to appreciate his Leader Class movie toys. Ultimately, I think most of the blame lies in the super soft sculpt not being able to capture the intricate design. Had this been a statue of old school G1 Sunbow Prime, I think it could have been spectacular. In concept, the whole turnaround gimmick showing off both modes may not have been inherently bad, but the execution just doesn’t result in a piece that I’m all that keen on displaying. And so, Prime here resides on the tip top shelf of display case in the corner. Mostly out of sight and out of mind.

May 2 2013

Transformers Cybertron: Vector Prime by Hasbro

I had fun looking at Cybertron Metroplex last week, so I thought I’d pull out another one of my favorite Cybertron figures that has hitherto escaped being featured on FigureFan Zero. He’s Vector Prime and holy shit was I excited when I saw the pre-production photos of this guy. I thought he was one of the most gorgeous Transformers ever made. This guy reminds me a lot of the movie style designs that were appearing in the later episodes of the Sunbow cartoon. There’s no in-package shot, so let’s just go right to his alt mode.

Hells yeah! Vector Prime is a bitchin space cruiser. One of the things I love most about this design is that his transformation is bewilderingly simple, and yet the alt mode works incredibly well. The ship rests nicely on the bulky backside, complete with wheels, and he’s got some cool guns slung under there as well. There’s also a firing missile concealed in the nose of the ship.

There’s so much sculpted detail on this ship that it’s easy to get lost in the clutter. The surface of the ship’s hull is littered, and I mean LITTERED, with exposed gears and while Hasbro did paint some panels of these with a nice gold application, I really wish I had the customizing skills to have at the rest. A little paint and a lot of time and patience would make Vector Prime’s alt mode even more amazing. But even as he stands now, it’s hard to think of another Transformer that got this much attention to detail in the sculpt. One day, I may at least have a go at panel lining him. Damn, do I love the design of this toy!

In addition to the crazy detail in the sculpt and the snazzy paint apps, Vector Prime makes good use of translucent blue plastic for the windshield, tiny wings, and some sensor devices on his undercarriage. And then there are the solar panel wings on the sides. They look great in the clear blue, but the plastic is very soft and these things are ridiculously prone to warping. I made the mistake of putting mine lose in a storage tote a couple of years back and when I took him out they looked like they were beyond hope. A lot of effort with a hair dryer brought them back close to their original state, but these things are not to be trifled with!

Another cool feature of Vector Prime is the way he incorporates his minicon, Safeguard. Most minicons just do their own thing and you can stick them onto the larger robots for power ups, but I always thought there was missed potential to better incorporate them into the designs of the bigger robot’s alt modes. Hasbro did a pretty good job with figures like Cyclonus and Thrust, but then didn’t seem to bother with others. With Vector Prime, there’s an actual indentation where Safeguard plugs in to give Vector Prime a huge cannon. Nice!

As already mentioned, Vector Prime’s transformation is as easy as it gets. You just fold his legs out, position his arms, fold the front half of the ship into a backpack, and turn the head to face forward. It’s ridiculously simple, and yet the robot mode is a thing of beauty. He has one of my favorite headsculpts of any Transformer from the period and all that great sculpted detail from his alt mode carries over beautifully into his robot mode. The angled shoulder armor looks great, and the backpack isn’t too bulky. The solar panels fold neatly to his sides, and I even dig the way the hull plates slide ever so slightly back to better reveal his fists. I also really love that huge round compartment in his chest. The whole figure hits that sweet spot of late Sunbow aesthetic when there was more of an outer space orientation to the show and we got to see a lot of older Cybertronians that we didn’t see earlier.

Did I forget to mention that Vector Prime has a translucent blue sword that stores conveniently in his backpack? He does!

Let’s not depart without saying something about Safeguard, because he’s on my A-list of cool minicons. His alt mode is a little spaceship with a very large gun. As already mentioned, he incorporates nicely into Vector’s alt mode and can quickly detach to fly off on his own. Because most of his alt mode is one big cannon, he can conveniently attach to either of Vector’s arms to give some added fire power. I kind of wish, Hasbro had given him a post to fit in Vector’s hand because then he would have been a proper Target Master. He can also store away by attaching to Vector’s backpack.

Safeguard sort of mimics Vector’s transformation. He’s definitely one of the better looking minicons in robot mode. He could use a few more paint apps on his torso, but otherwise he looks great and has nice articulation for a minicon. His arms rotate at the shoulders and have ball joints in the elbows. His legs rotate at the hips and have hinged knees.

Vector Prime is pure Transformer love. Hasbro went crazy with him and it shows. I’m always happy to get another space-faring alt mode, and the robot mode’s design is both beautiful and bad ass. There’s a ton of clever elements to the design of this figure, and yet the transformation isn’t one of them. But he’s a great example of how you don’t necessarily need an over engineered transformation to make an amazing figure. He’s one of my all-time favorites, and he can usually be found standing on display with my Classics collection. The mold has been brought out a few more times since his original 2005 release. At the ’07 Botcon he was repainted into the glorious Alpha Trion. It was a great use for the mold and it is a strikingly beautiful figure. I’d love to add him to my collection someday, but not enough to blow $450-500 on him. He was rolled out again in 2009 in a rather unfortunately f’ugly repaint as part of the Universe 2.0 collection. If he’s missing from your shelves and you don’t want to splurge on the Botcon exclusive, I recommend going with the original release. You can still pick him up for at or below his original MSRP of about $20-25, and he’s worth every damn penny.

Apr 27 2013

Transformers Cybertron: Metroplex by Hasbro

I don’t know about y’all, but I’m pretty damned psyched to get my hands on the new Metroplex that Hasbro showed off at Toy Fair this year. It’s a brand new size called a Titan Class and it will supposedly stand about two feet tall and feature both city and battle station modes, and yes it’ll be just a smidge taller than that certain huge combining robot that Mattel offered up last year. But talk about bad timing. Hey Hasbro, why do you want to go and take the piss out of Takara’s Encore Fort Max by upstaging what was the largest official Transformer of all time by a couple of inches? Anyway, I’m not here to debate the politics of the decision, nor am I suggesting that G1 Fort Max is any less amazing for it. Instead we’re here to take a look at the last big Metroplex figure that Hasbro delivered back in 2006 as part of their Cybertron line. While he’s got some issues, I like this figure a lot. He’s one of those select favorites that rarely ever gets rotated out of my active display. I don’t have an in-package shot, so let’s just go ahead and start with his alt mode.

Metroplex is a… ahh… hmm. Well, he’s supposed to be a giant alien excavator, which sort of flies in the face of the fact that Metroplex, by his very name, should at least have some kind of city mode. Sure, it’s big and powerful looking, but it also feels like the alt mode is a second thought and if you look at it long enough, it’s easy to see that it’s more or less just a robot on all fours. Obviously, this was the biggest sticking point for fans accepting this version of Metroplex into their hearts. I don’t have a problem with a Transformer excavator, but I’m not sure it needed to be named Metroplex. I try to remind myself that the Cybertron toys were heavily tied into the cartoon series, but no matter how much alcohol is involved, my attempts to consume that particular fiction have all failed. Apparently, this Metroplex comes from the Giant Planet where Transformers grow to be really big and everyone seems overly obsessed with the unending task of building massive cities on top of old ones. Hey, at least there’s a city tie-in somewhere, right?

With all that having been said, Metroplex’s alt mode is still kind of fun and fairly impressive looking, even if some of it doesn’t make sense. Based on the position of the digging wheel, the cockpit seems to be facing the wrong way. Of course, it works to slightly modify it into a crawling death machine with a giant chomping claw. Eat your heart out Jayce and the Wheeled Warriors… this is f’cking armed force on steroids! Yeah, well… it’s Metroplex’s robot modes that make me keep him on the shelf and out of the storage totes. Wait, did you say robot modes, plural? I did indeed. Metroplex has two robot modes, which I believe were referred to as work mode and combat mode. They’re fairly similar, but one is significantly taller than the other. Let’s start with the smaller of the two.

Metroplex’s work mode is one big and chunky bot, supported by a marvelous system of heavy ratcheting joints. The joints are so ridiculously strong and noisy, that he practically makes that iconic G1 transforming noise just from the ratcheting joints alone. I’ve long forgotten what the official modes for Metroplex look like, but I do like using his cockpit head for his work mode. It’s a little nod to Omega Supreme and it also makes him look like one of the old Starriors figures from Tomy (Note to self: Do some Vintage Vault features with Starriors!). Sure, he’s got huge feet, but apart from that I really dig this guy’s proportions and overall aesthetic. There isn’t much of a G1 Metroplex homage at work here, but that’s ok with me, because not everything needs to be a nod back to something else for me to like it. The coloring is great, and the quality and finish of the white plastic used here is really nice. His deco is rounded out by a pair of sharp little Autobot insignia on his shoulders.

Changing Metroplex into his battle mode involves some nifty engineering that unfolds the legs and the torso. In fact, it’s far more clever than what’s involved changing him from his alt mode. You do indeed get a much taller robot, and while the arms are more or less the same, there are enough changes here to make him stand out from his previous mode. Here’s where I like to roll out the true head, and therein lies the biggest G1 homage on the figure. I just love this dude’s head sculpt. He’s got the antenna on each side, similar to G1 Plexy and some cool light piping in the eyes. He also looks like he just stepped on a Decepticon and now needs to scrape it off the bottom of his foot.

You may have noticed that a big part of Metroplex’s alt mode is conspicuously missing from from both his robot modes. Yes, the excavating arm detaches and actually turns into his weapon: A weapon that is gloriously named, Sparkdrinker. I think Sparkdrinker is supposed to be an axe, but it looks more like a mace to me. Inserting the Cyber Key causes the digger wheel to expand a bit. It’s not a terribly dramatic conversion, but I don’t care because as a weapon Sparkdrinker is both ridiculous and beautiful. It’s not terribly graceful or easy for him to wield, but if he hits you with it, you will most certainly die.

The last thing worth mentioning here is Metroplex’s minicon, Drillbit. I love minicons, and I really do miss them. Drillbit is one of my all-time favorite minicons, probably right behind Leader-1. He has a great looking robot mode, and a pretty cool little drill tank mode. He can also clip on to Metroplex’s arms and make a convincing looking gun, or a drill weapon that basically drills into your face as he punches you. Awesome!

And that, my friends, is 2006 Metroplex. I’m not terribly in tune with the ebb and flow of the Transformers community, but I get the sense that this guy isn’t terribly well revered and I think that’s ridiculous. He’s a huge, fun toy with great poseability and I never get tired of playing around with him or having my Classics Decepticons try to attack him en masse and fail miserably. I love his sculpt and deco and he just looks so majestic sitting there on my shelf. Granted, if you’re looking for a G1 homage, this isn’t it, but he’s a fantastic toy all on his own.

Apr 17 2013

Tiny Titanium Transformers! by Hasbro

Work this week has been a bitch and I’ve been compensating by drinking even more than usual. That’s no small feat for me. The result is, I’m really washed out and was tempted to take a pass today. But the show must go on, so I’ve rustled up something quick and easy. Tiny Titanium Transformers! Alliteration… it’s fun!

Back around 2006, Hasbro was going totally apeshit with a line they called Titaniums. It was a nod back to the old days when certain people would have you believe that just the idea of adding diecast metal to a toy made it instantly great. I think the Titaniums originated with a line of Star Wars ships, a fitting use of the concept, but before you could say “cash-grab” Hasbro was spinning the idea out into all sorts of franchises and forms. You got big Star Wars ships, little Star Wars ships, shitty Transformers that actually transformed, statues of Star Wars and Marvel characters, Battlestar Galactica ships… eventually even Indiana Jones got in on the act.

Yep, that’s a f’cking Mutt Williams Titanium. It was a crazy time in the toy industry… a time when cocaine was obviously as plentiful as snow in winter. And before you denounce me as an insane monster, keep in mind, I don’t own the thing, I cribbed that picture off of Ebay.

Today we’re just looking at a handful of the little Transformers statues. I have no idea what the purpose of these were, but I bought a bunch of them so… bravo, Hasbro. You obviously won this round. On the other hand, I have no recollection of actually going into a store and buying them, nor can I imagine any scenario in which I would. I do remember what pissed me off about this line so much was the lack of cohesive source material. If they were all G1 guys, I would have probably bought them all, but instead what we got was a crazy selection of characters that meandered all over the Transformers franchise from Beast Wars to G1 to Energon and Cybertron. Keep in mind that these guys came with little Autobot and Decepticon insignia bases, which I have in a baggie… in a tote… somewhere.

Let’s kick it off with Bumblebee and Jazz. These guys are cool, but you can already see how this line is all over the place. Jazz is obviously G1 Jazz with a very animated feel, but Bumblebee looks like he’s patterned more off the original G1 minibot toy with a Sunbow head sculpt. Don’t get me wrong, Bumblebee is probably my favorite figure in this bunch for that very reason, but it’s still weird. There is actually some articulation in these figures. Bumblebee can move his arms at the shoulders and his wrists swivel. Jazz can also move his arms at the shoulders and his legs swivel below the knee. I should also point out that only the torsos and feet on these guys are made of diecast, everything else is rubbery plastic. Still, this is a nice pair of tiny figures with some impressive paintwork.

Next up is Sideswipe and Smokescreen. But wait, these are actually based off of the Alternator versions? THE ALTERNATOR VERSIONS??? That’s crazy! What could possibly possess Hasbro to do homages to the Alternators, when I could have had little G1 style Sideswipe and Smokescreen to go with my Jazz and Bumblebee? I just don’t get it. Oh yeah, I realize it looks like Smokescreen is urinating, but he’s supposed to be holding a gun and I can’t find it. Why Hasbro bothered to make the guns removable on these little figures is beyond me. The only value it adds is the ability to lose them, and that’s no value at all.

Last up is Starscream. I really like this one mainly because of the base sculpted to look like exhaust and out of all the figures, he’s the one that reminds me of a little statue. He’s a little chunky, but it’s impressive how Hasbro managed to capture all his douchebaggery in such a tiny guy. I know he was repainted as Thundercracker, but by the time I saw that one I came to my senses and stopped collecting this line. I can’t remember ever seeing a Skywarp.

I also have at least one Optimus Prime from this line somewhere, but if I took the time to find him then this wouldn’t be a quick and easy feature. I seem to recall these things being around $6 or $7 a piece, which once again begs the question, “Why the hell did I buy these?” And then I remind myself that once upon a time my Transformers addiction was so bad that I drove to a Walmart at two in the morning so I could spend $35 on a repaint of Armada Optimus Prime. Obviously, I was out of control. Even as cool as a couple of these little figures are, they still serve no purpose in my collection. In fact, I had to dig them out of my junk drawer where they sat in a heap of rubber bands, dead AA batteries and used up pens.

Apr 11 2013

Transformers Prime: Thundertron by Hasbro

I’ve been through all the TF: Prime Deluxe figures that I picked up at Ross, but I saved the one Voyager figure that I got for last. He’s Thundertron and I know absolutely nothing about him apart from what’s on the back of the box and that he was only twelve bucks. Was he even in the show? All I know is that he represents a new faction called “Star Seekers” that apparently blames the Cybertronians for the destruction of their planet. Oh yeah, he’s also A GIANT ROBOT SPACE PIRATE THAT TURNS INTO A F’CKING LION!!! I mean… how can that not be awesome? Well, we’re about to find out because truth be told, I’m pretty torn on this guy. I’m also hitting the Johnnie Walker pretty hard today, so you’ve been warned.

We’ve seen the TF: Prime Voyager packaging here before. I still dig it a lot, but for some reason Thundertron’s box seems extra cluttered and busy to me. Maybe it’s the huge Ross price sticker. The figure comes in a window box and is packaged in robot mode. Good choice, Hasbro, you don’t want the kids to get a good look at this guy’s alt mode before buying it. The window has the usual “Try Me” cut out so that you can check out his crappy weapon. Hey, what do you think about that, Grumpy Cat?

Thought so. I’m going to break with tradition and start with Thundertron’s robot mode, because it’s the one thing that I love about this figure.

The head sculpt looks like a call back to G1 Alpha Trion from the Sunbow cartoon. I can’t imagine why that would be intentional, but I calls it likes I sees it. The lion head landing on Thundertron’s chest seems to be an obvious choice for a lion-former, but it still looks pretty good, although I’m not a fan of the way the beard drops behind the lion’s head. What’s the point of being a robot with a beard if you can’t show it off? The sculpted texture on the shoulder armor looks great, as do the spikes that rise up from those pieces. I’ll also shamefully admit that I’m in love with the fact that you can pull off his foot, turn it into a claw weapon, which leaves him with a peg leg. It’s ridiculous and it makes absolutely no sense on any level and yet I still think it’s both hilarious and cool.

Thundertron’s deco walks a very strange line between looking either really amazing or really cheap. The white and blue color scheme is quite striking, particularly when you toss in the little bits of gold. I think the combination of regular blue and clear blue plastic looks amazing. While it’s totally a coincidence that I just looked at MOTUC Frosta yesterday, the truth is if she were a Transformer, this is what her deco would probably look like. I’m also really digging the Star Seeker emblem. If a Transformer Pirate were to have a faction symbol, that is exactly what it should look like! What I don’t like is the quality of the white plastic used here, particularly on the head. It just looks cheap.

I find transforming Thundertron to be a pain in the ass, not because of any kind of complex engineering, but because it’s such a horrible and abstract lion mode that it’s unclear where anything is supposed to go. You’ve got as good a chance of making this thing look like a lion on your own as you do following the instructions. When you’re done you get this kind of mechanical lion-cricket looking thingy. Wait… is this a FUZOR??? HAVE THE FUZORS RETURNED??? No, it’s just a bad design. Besides, if he were a lion-cricket Fuzor his name would be ROARCHIRP. The name Roarchirp is a trademark of FigureFan Zero LTD. All rights reserved. Call, me Hasbro… we’ll do lunch.

Even if you can find it in your heart to love something that looks like the progeny of a robot lion and a grasshopper, his beast mode just isn’t fun to play with. You can’t do anything with his front paws without them coming unpegged. Ironically, the ridiculous oversized weapon attaches to the beast mode’s back and would actually be kind of cool if it would stay deployed without holding it. But it doesn’t, so even that glimmer of hope vanishes.

As a Transformer, I don’t really hold Thundertron in high regard. He doesn’t really look like he belongs on my Transformers display, unless it’s with that hodge-podge shelf of toys from the first Robots in Disguise (1999) series where basically anything goes. He might even fit in with some of the Beast Machine toys, but with the exception of my glorious army of Tankors, I dumped my Beast Machines toys long ago. On the other hand, if I take him as just some crazy Japanese robot figure, I kind of dig him. He’s imaginative, he looks cool enough, and he’s reasonably fun to play around with, so long as I forget he changes into anything. I never would have picked him up for full price, and even at Ross’ deep discount, he was still a take-it-or-leave-it kind of purchase.

FigureFan Zero

Action Figure Reviews, Toys & Collectibles…

Tag Archives: transformers

Transformers Kre-O: Optimus Prime by Hasbro, Part 1

Transformers Generations: Blitzwing by Hasbro.

Transformers Classics: Jetfire by Hasbro

Transformers Universe: King Atlas by Hasbro

Transformers Beast Hunters: Smokescreen by Hasbro

Transformers Unleashed: Optimus Prime by Hasbro

Transformers Cybertron: Vector Prime by Hasbro

Transformers Cybertron: Metroplex by Hasbro

Tiny Titanium Transformers! by Hasbro

Transformers Prime: Thundertron by Hasbro

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