And we’re back to finish off the week with a look at the items featured in 2013 that left me shaking my head and reaching for a bottle of Jameson. Some of the stuff we looked at yesterday was passable and yet still disappointing, but today we’re getting into some of the things that really pissed me off good. And so without further ado, let’s look at 2013’s Final Five stinkers.

Marvel (Iron Man) Legends: Ultron by Hasbro: While no Marvel Legends figures made my Favorites List this year, 2013 still saw some solid figures added to the collection. Alas, there were also some questionable releases. I was really pumped about getting Ultron, and while the sculpt was not at all bad, the wonky plastic Hasbro used put me off this figure in a big way. Cheap looking, swirly grey plastic did not match the beautiful silvery finish shown off in preview pics. With Ultron scheduled to be a major player in Avengers 2 Hasbro will no doubt be taking a second crack at the figure in the near future, but who knows what he’ll look like. And so my wait for a decent Legends scale Ultron goes on. Maybe I’ll try picking up the Select version.

DC Signature Collection: Red Hood by Mattel: Yes, Mattel makes the list again with more DC stuff and before you cry foul, Wonder Woman was DC Unlimited and this one is from Matty’s own Signature Collection. Anyway, Red Hood gets a spot on this stinker list for a couple of reasons. Besides being a ridiculous and uninspired figure, it was one that I don’t think should have even taken up a slot in the Sub. Even many fans of the character seemed to be peeved that Mattel went with this version. Even if I had gotten around to featuring Batzarro in 2013 (I should get to him next week), Red Hood would have still beaten him out as Club Infinite Earth’s biggest turd of the year. PS. Hey Red Hood, I even hate your f’cking guns.

Transformers Generations: Blitzwing by Hasbro: I realize that Bruticus already made the list and he was a Generations figure, so here’s where I’m bending the rules just a smidge. If it makes you happy, I’ll point out that Bruticus was a combiner and part of the Fall of Cybertron series, whereas Blitzwing is a single release and just a regular Generations figure. Either way, Blitzwing earns a spot on this list for some unfortunate technical design blunders that ruined what could have been an excellent toy. With shoulders that just would not lock into place, a stupid and unnecessary face changing gimmick, and a soft-bendy nosecone that couldn’t properly fit over the head, this guy pisses me off every time I look at him on my shelf. Blitzwing has always been one of my favorite Transformers and this figure could have been one of the high points of the year instead of landing in the muck.

Doctor Who: 11^th Doctor (3 ¾” Scale) by Character Options: Let’s be honest, so far changing scales has not been kind to the Doctor Who figure line. A few of the figures have been ok, but most have been merely passable or total garbage, and it doesn’t help when the figure of the main character is the worst one of the lot. The 11^th Doctor is poorly sculpted, poorly painted, and not even articulated all that well. He almost makes me long for the days of those terrible Dapol figures. There was always a potential for advantages in the scale change, but so far it seems like a total loss. We haven’t gotten any more characters out of the deal, no playsets or vehicles worth speaking about. Other than being able to troop build some Daleks and Cybermen for relatively cheap, there’s been no positives to this trade off. CO either needs to step this shit up or bring back the 5-inch scale.

Star Trek Starship Legends: “Wrath of Khan” Enterprise by Diamond Select: I originally said that these lists weren’t in any order. But the truth is I’ve been counting down to this ultimate stinker the whole time. The poetic irony of having Starship Legends kick off my Favorites list and conclude my Biggest Disappointments was too much to resist. One of my most anticipated purchases of the year also turned out to be akin to getting two photon torpedoes fired right into my gonads. This incarnation of the USS Enterprise has always been my favorite and I couldn’t wait to have a beautiful display piece of it on my shelf. What I got was a dog turd that had been rolled in the grass and tossed into a box. This re-release of the WoK Enterprise is a total piece of garbage on every conceivable level and I still can’t understand how it got released in Diamond’s otherwise excellent Starship Legends line. It totally broke my heart. On the whole, FFZ is a positive place with very few overwhelmingly negative features and yet I find it ironic that this feature remains one of the most viewed articles on my site.

Ok, Toy Hounds, that’s going to wrap up this automated week of content. I will be back at the helm on Monday with the first new content of the year! Bring on 2014!