It’s that time again, kids! My monthly box from Matty Collector hit my doorstep earlier this week. Considering the sale was on the 15th and I got my sub figure on the 20th, I’d say that’s record time. It almost justifies the crazy shipping prices that Matty charges. Anyway, this month’s figure is Blade… yes, the bald eye-patch guy from the 1987 Masters of the Universe movie. I have absolutely no idea what the general nerd reception is for that movie these days. I kind of liked it back then, but I wasn’t a hardcore MOTU fan so it probably didn’t offend me as much as some. It’s probably been 20 years since I’ve seen it, and no… I am under no obligation to watch it for this review. I tell ya what, if Matty gets around to doing one more movie figure, I’ll watch it for that review. There, the gauntlet has been thrown down. Now, let’s look at the figure.
Blade may be from the movie, but you wouldn’t know it from the packaging. There’s no sticker or anything declaring his Hollywood origins. You just get an awesome card and bubble with that glorious Greyskull-inspired green brick deco. The insert dubs Blade as the “Evil Master of Swords” and the bio on the back even gives a nod to the 1987 movie plot. I love the idea of folding all of this stuff into one uniform line of action figures and even if it does mean I have to watch the movie again, I really do hope we get more figures from the film. I’ll also confess that I never knew there was a Blade figure in the original MOTU toyline. Nope, I only just learned that today while poking around the Interwebs to remind me a little bit about the character in the film.
There he is, and might I say, “Damn, this guy is bitchin!” He’s like some kind of techno-sky-pirate-warlord from one of those late-night Cinemax Post-Apocalypse movies. And I mean that in every way as a compliment. I don’t even know where to begin with this guy. I guess I’ll start with the armor. Blade is wearing a soft, rubbery vest and skirt that’s sculpted and painted to look like chainmail and the effect works brilliantly. If I wasn’t already in the know, I’d have to get in pretty close to see that all those chain links are faked out, especially with the way it falls down between his legs. It’s brilliant! The chain coat is beautifully adorned with a silver medallion in the center. The huge slabs of shoulder armor may be a tad much, but… hell, why not? In for a penny, in for a pound. If you’re going for a high intimidation factor, and I do believe this guy is, you might as well go all out and turn your shoulders into razor tipped walls. The whole ensemble is nicely rounded out with rings of sculpted daggers around each of his thighs and a dart gun mounted on his left bracer. Christ, this is one outstanding battle ensemble!
The portrait is pretty sweet too. Blade’s bald head sports a nasty scar that disappears under his patched eye and he’s wearing a fierce scowl. His ears are covered with bladed back-swept wings and he’s even got a pair of spikes protruding out from his chin. What the hell are those for? Does he chin butt people? Sure, it’s crazy… crazy awesome! The hell with Eternia, Blade would be right at home in the Badlands, manning a custom gun turret on top of a battle wagon made out of a converted ’76 Ford Torino. Don’t tell me you can’t picture that!
Blade comes with his trusty swords, each of which fit into loops on his belt for convenient carrying. He has one straight broadsword and one slightly curved cutlass-style weapon. Much has been made by the fan community about the paint operations being nixed from these swords. The cutlass is completely unpainted and the broadsword just has red paint on the crossguard. I get it, they would have looked better painted, but considering how much spectacular work was done on the figure itself, I can live with the unpainted weapons. Besides, they may still turn up all painted up in a weapons pack somewhere down the road. Of course, having to buy the painted swords separately will just give the fans something else to complain about.
You also get a laser whip. I did not at all remember Blade having this in the movie until a friend set me straight and showed me some pics of He-Man getting the shit whipped out of him by Blade. It’s a cool accessory, but it doesn’t quite live up to the weapon in the film. Plus, I get a bit of a Gummi-Worm vibe from it. I don’t think I’ll display it with the character. His name is Blade not Whip, I want him to have his swords at the ready, not a licorice candy whip.
Blade is yet another reason why I’m so very happy I subbed Club Eternia this year. Mattel went absolutely apeshit on this guy with all the new sculpting and paintwork and they turned out a truly amazing figure. Even if I wasn’t collecting this line, I think I’d want to have this guy on my shelf just because he’s dripping with 80’s sci-fi badassery. You’re not going to the display shelves yet, Mr. Blade. No, you’re going to hang out on my desk for a while so I can play with you on my downtime. Keep it up, Matty. You’re making 2014 a great year!