Well, if snowy battlefields haven’t gotten you into the Christmas spirit yet, you better get festive fast, because ready or not, it’s right around the corner. So welcome to the second stop in my snowy Yuletide GI JOE trifecta. This blizzard of military Christmas spirit started on Monday with a look at Snow Job, and today I’m having a look at Cobra’s specialized Arctic Battle Android Trooper. Because… the regular BATs get too cold when they go out in the snow? OK, maybe these are equipped with more anti-freeze and wear chains on their boots. Either way, let’s bundle up and check him out!

This is not the first appearance of an Arctic BAT here on FFZ, that honor went to this guy way back in 2015 as part of Hasbro’s 50th Anniversary line, so the idea of BATs specialized for Arctic conditions is not exactly new. I do indeed love me some Cobra BATs! They were introduced into the Sunbow cartoon to give the JOEs an enemy they could shoot and “kill” without any actual bloodshed because they are just machines. I dig the Classified BAT design a lot, and boy have I amassed a fair number of them! As a result, I pre-ordered a few of these new Arctic BATs from different retailers. One arrived before the others shipped, and that was sure lucky, because after getting this guy in hand, I promptly cancelled the rest. Read on and find out why this guy left me cold. Sorry…

So, the Arctic BAT is built off the same body as the regular BAT, and that’s fine. It makes sense as this is presumably just a tweaked variant and to be fair, Hasbro did a lot to personalize this figure. In addition to the suit being painted white, the boots are now gray with some snappy silver paint and you get more of that silver paint on the arms, which were left matte gray on the regular version. There are two thigh rigs added, one of which has an integral holster, there’s a new belt piece with some pouches, and you also get two new pieces of shoulder armor strapped around his biceps. The backpack is recycled from the regular BAT but cast in gray plastic now, and as we’ll see, it really serves no purpose here.

The stock head is similar to the regular BAT, but painted white and with a cool looking polarized shield as a visor. Oddly enough, it’s even advertised with printing on the side of the helmet. This sort of protection is usually to help against eye strain, so I’m not sure why the robot needs it. I guess UV-blocking screen would be helpful if the BAT is transmitting back video or pictures in order to improve their quality. Sure why not… let’s go with that.

The alternate head is a lot cooler to me. It’s got a cyclops-like central dome camera with an array of red sensors surrounding it. There’s also a grill for what I suppose is a speaker. This design really strides the line between looking functional and cool for the sake of looking cool. If I were army building these guys, I would use this head as the squad leader. Also, much to my chagrin, this head will not fit on my regular BATs, as the balls are different sizes, which really surprised and irked me, because I would have totally given this head to one of my regular BATs to make him some kind of specialist.

You also get three different chest plates to choose from. The regular one with the Cobra emblem is the one I’ve been using for most of the photos so far. It’s the same basic design as the one on the regular BATs, just painted white. Likewise, you get a repaint of the damaged plate, which has some cracks and a big dent. I remain rather lukewarm on these armor chest plates, as the visible circuitry from the classic BAT design is just so iconic to me.

The third option is like a tactical vest with some utility pouches sculpted in and I actually like this one the best, mainly because the other two are constantly falling out. I’m not sure why, as I don’t have that problem on my regular BATs and it should all be the same mold, but it’s pretty annoying and this one stays put pretty well. I also think it looks good with the second head, and makes the figure look more distinctive. The exposed circuitry in the chest compartment is painted with a bright metallic blue with some of the larger components painted black. I really like how they sculpted detail into the inside of the chest plate as well.

You get the same style pistol that came with the regular BATs, but here the holster is swapped, so now he wears it on the right hip. I like this gun design a lot, and he can hold it well in either of his robotic arms.

And you get this big rifle, and I flippin’ hate this thing. It didn’t come wrapped in cardboard, so the barrel on mine is bent right out of the box. The design is just stupidly huge and awkward and the strap is really annoying and cumbersome and I may just snip it off. The only cool things here is the bottom frame hinges down to replace what I guess is a battery magazine that charges the rifle. I’m assuming it’s meant to be a directed energy weapon, because it doesn’t look like it takes regular ammo. Also, there’s a hinged bipod and the suppressor can be removed from the tip of the barrel. Either way, this thing is getting pitched into the dreaded Storage Tote of Forgotten Accessories, never to be seen again.

The exclusive new weapon attachment is a chainsaw and it looks as bad ass as you might imagine a robot with a chainsaw for a hand would look. Unfortunately, you only get the one weapon attachment, which I think is really cheap on Hasbro’s part. Sure they did some new sculpting for this figure, but they also saved a lot because the whole body is recycled, so I don’t think it’s asking much to pack in the same weapon attachments that came with the regular BATs, or heck at least include the claw. The lack of extras is driven home by the fact that the recycled weapon storage backpack serves almost no purpose. The chainsaw does not fit in the top storage slots and if you peg it into the side it just falls right out. So really the only thing the backpack is used for is to store whichever hand the chainsaw is replacing.

Alas, this release is mostly a miss for me, and wow does it feel strange being disappointed with a Classified figure. That almost never happens! It’s doubly weird, considering how much of this figure is borrowed from a genuinely great one. I’ll concede that the core figure is fine, but there are so many little other things that bug me about it, I’m sure glad I only got stuck with the one. Why don’t the regular chest plates stay on? Why can’t I store the chainsaw in the backpack? Why do you have a big stupid looking NERF rifle? Fortunately, the chainsaw is compatible with my regular BATs, so one of those guys will inherit it and this sucker can go pound snow. So, we’ve hit a bit of a downer in this trilogy of reviews, let’s hope we can end on a high note next week when I check out the Snow Serpent.

In the meantime, swing back here on Christmas Eve, as I will be kicking off a two-part review for Christmas! Or should I say, Christ-HISS! Eh? Seriously, please come back.