Monthly Archives: December 2023

Dec 8 2023

G. I. JOE Classified: Croc Master and Fiona by Hasbro

I’ve mentioned a few times before that Classified is moving into lesser known territory for me and starting to release figures based on characters that came out after I had sort of grown out of GI JOE. Now, that doesn’t mean I’m not familiar with these characters, indeed I wound up picking up the 25th Anniversary figures of a lot of them as an adult collector. It just means that I don’t have the same childhood nostalgia for these. And Croc Master definitely fits that bill. Cobra’s reptile trainer first hit the shelves around 1987-88. I was 15 and my life was all about watching Star Trek and Doctor Who, and less about playing with toys. He was also too late to be featured in the Sunbow cartoon, so as cool as he was, he was an unknown to me. But that’s not to say I’m not absolutely chuffed to get him!

Croc Master, founder of the ill-conceived “let’s use giant reptiles instead of dogs for security as a business model” Guard Gators, Inc., comes as a Deluxe set in a big window box and bundled with Fiona, his pet croc and a bunch of accessories. This set makes a good argument in favor of the window boxes, because you really do get to see all the cool stuff you’re getting in here and the toys look great against the crimson Cobra artwork printed on the cardboard backer. Let’s take a look at Croc Master first…

Oh yeah! By 1987 Cobra was really committing to becoming a right bunch of glorious weirdos. Maybe they were just embracing their newly discovered Cobra-La origins. Either way, Croc Master is practically the poster child for this new Cobra, looking every bit like DC Comics’ Bane with a reptile fetish. This guy is jacked and more than a little bit terrifying. His croc-skinned onesie is punctuated in the middle by a silver and yellow belt with one giant croc eye painted on the buckle. He’s got black trousers, reptile boots, and a brown holster and sheath strapped to his legs. One bold silver arm bracer is locked around his right forearm while a coiled reptile skin one adorns his left. I really dig the sculpted Cobra medallion on his chest and the painting and detail on the croc skin shirt is just superbly done. You can call him goofy, but don’t try to tell me you wouldn’t be shitting your pants if this guy came running at you in the middle of a swamp.

The head sculpt really drives home that Bane flavor. Croc Master has a form-fitting black hood with a giant silver breather mask covering his mouth and nose. There’s a black hose that leads off the side and connects to a horizontal canister across his back. Maybe this is oxygen so he can lie in wait under the water, but I’d like to think that this is just so he can breath horrible swamp gas wherever he goes. The deep crimson eyes contribute nicely to the intimidation factor here.

Croc’s more normal accessories consist of a fighting knife and a pistol, each of which can be stored on his person in the sheath and holster. The pig-sticker is mostly bare gray plastic, but it does have some green paint on the wrapped handle, giving it a bit of personality.

The pistol is a beefy, all black magnum revolver, which I think suits him pretty well. It’s fun to imagine that when he pulls this and shoots you, he’s just going for the knees because he wants you alive and screaming when his crocs eat you.

Similarly, his giant hook is likely embedded into your flesh so he can drag you back to the Croc Pens, Leatherface style, and drop you in. Yeah, this was a great idea for an accessory! There are a lot of horror elements tied up with this guy.

And his final accessory is a big coiled whip. This is a cool accessory, but I find it disappointing to think that Croc Master whips his beloved crocs. Then again, he is a bad guy, so he probably does. The whip is cast in soft plastic, but it pretty much stays with the end coiled up, which works better for posing than it does play.

And then there’s Fiona, which is a hell of a pack in, as it uses more plastic than Croc Master himself. And hey, if you’re in the market for a 6-inch scale croc, Fiona is the girl for you! The sculpted detail on this beast is absolutely gorgeous with every inch of her covered in scales or rough textured skin. Her legs are articulated with rotating hinges at the ankles and again where they meet the body. She also has points at the base of the tail and at the neck.

Of course, the upper jaw is articulated and she can open up nice and wide to better showcase those lovely teeth. Look at them snappers! This is an all around amazing toy and I can pretty much guarantee that my Hasbro Indiana Jones will be meeting Fiona at some point or another.

Croc also has a spiked collar and leash for Fiona. The whole thing is cast in soft plastic and the collar fits right over her head so he can better keep her under control.

And last but not least, Hasbro threw in too little baby crocs: One green and one albino! These are just simple static pieces, but oh so damn adorable! Why did they bother including these? I don’t know, but I’m glad they did!

Croc Master was released quite a while ago, so he’s one of those figures that has been languishing on my backlog for bit. I’m glad I finally got around to opening him, because this is an absolutely killer set, no pun intended. Croc Master himself is a fun design with some great paint and detail, but Fiona comes pretty close to stealing the show here while offering a lot of crossover potential for other toy lines in this scale. He was originally released at around $40, which is a damn fine value for what you’re getting, but nowadays you can find him for even less online. At some point, he may even drop low enough for me to pick up a second set just for another Fiona!

Dec 6 2023

Cosmic Legions (Gravenight): Kanoxx Vull by The Four Horsemen

Welcome back to Hvalkatar Prison, a den of aliens, intrigue, and vicious gladiatorial fights! Today, I’m pressing on with my look at the second wave of Cosmic Legions and I must say I’m having a blast with these figures! This time, Gravenight offers up another one of the unlucky alien contestants with Kanoxx Vull. And I have to say, based on his appearance, I wouldn’t bet against this guy in a fight!

Vull comes in the now familiar window box with some character specific art on the front and some blurbs about him and the overall narrative on the side panels. His species is called The Raseeris and he hails from a colony of laborers called The Red Spiral. His background reminds me a lot of Kraggnar from the first wave, in that he’s not necessarily a bad guy, just another unfortunate alien being used in the fights because he happens to be an intimidating bruiser.

Vull kind of looks like a buff Grimace that’s been assimilated by the Borg and I’m here for that! He’s got a rough-textured purple skin, which is exposed on his upper chest, arms, hands, legs, and right foot, while his lower left leg has been completely replaced with an artificial limb. He sports some coppery armor around his waist, which extends in segments upward to cover his abs, plus he has some silver armor up on his shoulders and around his neck. Some of his accoutrement appears to be life support, as he has hoses running from the cylinder on his back to his hip, another from his hip to his artificial leg, and a big one feeding out of the back canister and into the side of his face. Then again, these may just be there to buff his cool factor. We also get a bit of fuzzy softgoods around his unmentionables.

The detail work in the artificial limb is excellent. The foot is sculpted with what looks like articulation in the toes, but alas these are static. I dig the little pistons and wires and it supports the figure just fine. I should mention that both of the hoses that lead into the hip pieces sometimes fall out when posing, and I may wind up just gluing them in place, because there’s really no need for me to ever remove them.

As usual, you get two heads, one with a passive expression and one with a more fierce one. Vull’s facial features reminds me of some of the designs from the old Oddworld games and that ain’t a bad thing. He’s got no visible nose and a broad mouth. Hey, did you know Kanoxx Vull has no nose? Really, how does he smell? AWFUL! OK… Full disclosure, I think this guy probably smells like lavendar and cosmoline. The right side of his face has one red beady eye while the left side has some cybernetic elements and an ocular implant with a blue lens. The wide hose that feeds into the side of his face stays put pretty well, but it does inhibit his ability to turn his head to the right without it pulling out. The antenna is made of soft bendy plastic to keep it from snapping, but that gives it a natural curve.

The other face is pissed off Vull and makes for quite a statement. His mouth is opened to expose a wall of jagged sharp teeth, his brow is crinkled up, and he just looks like he’s about to put his opponent through the wall. It’s a wonderfully expressive piece of work and I love it!

As for accessories, Vull comes with very little, and I’m guessing that’s because a lot of extra sculpting and plastic went into his cybernetics, hoses, and armor. I was actually expecting him to be an Ogre Class figure because of the lack of accessories, but he’s just normal sized. Anyway, his one accessory is a rather large spiked mace, and while the shaft has a polished industrial look to it, the spiked head feels like it’s right out of Mythic Legions. I do love me a spiked ball on a stick, but I think a little more imagination could have gone into Vull’s weapon, especially since he’s only got one.

Kanoxx Vull is an extremely cool looking figure and even among a line of alien weirdos, he still manages to invoke a lot of personality and individualism. The sculpt and character design gel really well together on this guy and the paint and colors are quite striking. With that having been said, Vull feels like he has one foot in the Mythic Legions line and one in the Cosmic Legions line. I’m not sure if there are Mythic Legions parts in here, but his bare body parts could certainly pass for Orc flesh, plus the fuzzy diaper and mace both look like they were pulled right out of Mythoss. Not necessarily a bad thing, though, and the cybernetic bits certainly help to carry the day.

Dec 4 2023

Playmobil A-Team (#70750)

As some of you may know, Playmobil was a big deal for me as a kid. Whether it be space explorers, pirates, or cowboys, Playmobil sets were some of my most played with toys… at least until Star Wars came around. But licensed Playmobil sets are a relatively new thing thing, and in some cases the license pairing can be downright bizarre. I’ve already checked out Playmobil Ghostbusters, Scooby-Doo, and Star Trek, and this time we’re having a look at a certain crack commando unit that was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn’t commit. If you have a problem… if no one else can help… and if you can find them in the toy aisle of your local retailer… maybe you can purchase… The Playmobil A-Team!

I mean, HOLY SHIT! Right? Sure, the A-Team was good natured 80’s prime-time TV fun (not to mention a surprisingly good remake-movie), but it sure as hell wasn’t a kid show. It dealt with violence, mental illness, vigilantism, PTSD, and a whole lot of crap I wouldn’t expect Playmobil to tackle, and yet here we are! Set #70750 delivers an entire set of A-Team figures along with their iconic van, and a bunch of accessories. I love it when a playmo-plan comes together!

The figures come on this really cool cardboard tray that doubles as a display. The A-Team logo is printed in the middle and there’s a compartment for each figure with the character’s name printed beside it. Let’s have a look at the figures!

Hannibal is just an adorable little George Peppard with his distinguished coif of white hair and a popped collar on his jacket. There’s some crisp printing depicting the pockets on his jacket and the buttons down his shirt, as well as his belt. The only thing missing is a little cigar, which I guess was a step too far for Playmobil. As for B. A. Baracus, well I pity the fool who don’t dig this figure. He has a full sculpted beard and mohawk, gold bracelets on his wrists, a gold necklace around his neck, and lots more gold printed onto his denim jacket. They even get the red stripes on his athletic socks on there. There isn’t much going on on their backs, but as we’ll see in a minute, the budget for back-printing got spent elsewhere.

The second half of the team is made up of Templeton “Faceman” Peck and Howling Mad Murdock. Face is probably the least recognizable of the bunch, although he does have his blue blazer, khaki pants, and feathery coif of patented Dirk Benedict hair. But holy crap, did they go all out for Dwight Schultz’s Murdock! He has his signature blue ballcap as well as his Da Nang Tiger jacket. Seeing that jacket on an official Playmobil figure may very well be both the single most charming and terrifying thing I have ever witnessed. He also has his sock puppet, which is just another chef’s kiss for this figure!

And of course, you have the iconic black van with the red stripe, which is incredibly enough just a repaint and kit-bash of Scooby-Doo’s Mystery Machine. The body is the same, but you get a new roof piece, complete with rear spoiler, and a ramming bar on the front. The tires are rubber and the wheels are bright red, you also get some spot lights on the roof and license plate stickers for the front and back. The back doors open and there’s an opening side door as well. My only gripe here is that there are no plastic windows in the back, which was also my one beef with The Mystery Machine.

The top of the cab opens to put figure sin the front seats and the roof lifts off to give access to the rear compartment. There’s even a spot on the dash for the B.A.’s two included milk cartons.

The rear compartment has three chairs, allowing this vehicle to comfortably sit five figures. There’s an equipment bench in place of The Mystery Machine’s computer. Here, there’s a peg board to clip on and store some of the accessories, including a flashlight, binoculars, a pack of dynamite, and two walkie-talkies. There are also a pair of PDA with stickers showing the schematics for the van and a third with a sticker showing a reel-to-reel tape recorder. One of these can be displayed on the bench and the others can slide in for storage. It’s an interesting mix of modern and retro technology to say the least!

B.A. comes with his toolbox, which he guards closely because YOU SHOULD NEVER MESS WITH ANOTHER MAN’S TOOLS! He also comes with a welding torch and tank, which can mount inside the van beside one of the seats. Who gets to sit next to that tank when people are shooting at them?

Wow is this a fun and unexpected set! As I mentioned in the opening, this is one of the most adult-orientated sets we’ve seen out of Playmobil and it makes me wonder what their limits are. It’s also not a cheap set, but that’s been the case with some of the more obscure licensed releases they’ve done. With an MSRP of $89.99, this one was going to be a pass for me, but it went up for half off on Cyber Monday, so I couldn’t resist. It’s pretty steep, considering the Mystery Machine typically retails for $25 less and included electronics. Still, you do get four figures, a cool vehicle, lots of accessories, and literally the only A-Team toys on the market since Jazwares put out a line for the 2010 reboot movie. And it sure is a conversation piece!

By figurefanzero
2
Dec 1 2023

Batman (1966 Retro Series): Batman & Robin and The Batmobile by McFarlane

I have so much McFarlane stuff to look at, it’s really going to have to become a semi-weekly thing next year. There’s Retro 66 Batman, DC Multiverse, Warhammer 40k… I mean, holy crap I really went ham on these lines in 2024. I already dipped into the Retro 66 Batman pool a short while ago with a look at Boxing Batman and Riddler, but today I’m going to go back to basics by checking out the Dynamic Duo and their bitchin ride. Let’s start with the figures…

I won’t gas on and on about what the 66 Batman TV Series meant to me, as I already did that in the above referenced review. I will point out that I’m looking at the re-issues of this pair, as the originals sold out a while ago and climbed to some crazy prices on the aftermarket. I actually decided to skip the line entirely because of that, but Todd got smart and made them available again. I don’t know if there’s any differences in the packaging, but it looks to be pretty much the same. The front of the cards are generic, but the back have some character specific pictures. It’s a bright and colorful presentation, just like the show, but it also kind of leans toward that deliciously cheap rack toy motif that I find irresistible and makes me want to keep them carded. And so I picked up doubles of just these two to have carded examples of the line. We’ve pretty much seen a lot of this Batman figure when I looked at the Boxer variant from the episode Ring Around The Riddler, so I’m just going to tackle both of these figures together…

McFarlane is calling these Retro figures, but they really don’t match the styling and poseability of any vintage figures that I remember. The sculpts are certainly modern and all around quite excellent, so I think the retro moniker which means they have less articulation than the DC Multiverse. But we aren’t talking 5-POA here. The arms have rotating hinges in the shoulders, single hinges in the elbows, and rotatin in the wrists. There’s an old-timey T-crotch for the hips, but you get hinges in the knees. The necks are ball jointed and you get a swivel in the waists. Really, the only thing keeping them from fully modern articulation are what’s missing in the ankles and torso, and maybe some bicep swivels.

As for styling, I think the only thing that detracts from Batman is the bulk of his utility belt, otherwise everything looks fantastic. But surprisingly, I think Robin is the real winner here. His costume just looks so damn on point with some wonderful sculpting flares like the tops of his boots and the fasteners running down the center of his tunic. Both figures have super sharp paint and the colors really pop. I think my biggest gripe with both figures are the capes are a little on the cheap side. But hey… RETRO! Throw that word into your toy line and it can explain anything away as intentional!

As for the head sculpts, both are decent, but again I think Robin comes out on top. Neither are slam dunks in terms of likeness, but I see a lot more of Burt Ward in Robin than I do Adam West in Batman. But, toss in the iconic cowl and mask and it works just fine. I think it’s the depth of sculpt on Robin that impresses me more. The way his domino mask looks like it’s actually sculpted onto the head with the eyes fully sculpted and painted behind it just looks superb. The paint doesn’t hold up quite as nicely when you punch in really close with the camera, but it looks fine in hand.

As for accessories, you get comic-style punching effects that clip onto the figure’s wrists, just like we saw with the Boxing figures. Batman comes with POW!! and KAPOW! and Robin comes with BAM! and WHAMM!! and I appreciate what they were going for here, but I would have rather had figure stands or actual accessories like batarangs, bat grapple hooks, etc. Mattel’s 66 Batman line combined these familiar comic visuals with the figure stands and that was a good idea, but it’s not like McFarlane could have copied that.

I dig these figures a lot and there’s a lot of give and take if I’m comparing them to the older Mattel line. Obviously the articulation is more limited, but I think the sculpts and coloring are either on par or in some cases better. They look so iconic together and display really well on the shelf. But how about that Batmobile…

So let me just say straightaway that McFarlane’s 66 Batmobile is a step down in every conceivable way from Mattel’s release. But to be fair Mattel’s version was an absolute gem of a toy. Even when I off-loaded most of Mattel’s 66 Batman line in one of my seasonal toy purges, I couldn’t bring myself to part with that Batmobile and the Batman & Robin (and Batgirl) figures. That does not mean that McFarlane’s is bad, but there are aspects of it that really push the whole retro toy concept and that’s found mainly in how small it scales to the figures. But I’m getting ahead of myself. The Batmobile comes in some of the absolute worst packaging I could imagine: A box that leaves the toy completely open to the elements. If you buy this in the store there are probably boogers stuck to it. People have coughed on it. And there are probably sticky gummi-worm finger prints on it. This is awful packaging and it should be outlawed by the Hague Convention on the Just and Humane Treatment of Toys. That having been said, mine came from a reputable online retailer and it arrived clean and unscathed.

The sculpt here is pretty nice, and like Mattel’s it is a big plastic shell rolling on wheels, and there’s nothing wrong with that. You get a subdued black plastic sheen on the body with the right amount of red trim and the bat emblems printed on the doors. The front and back canopy pieces are clear plastic with just a bit of frost to them and just about all the added sculpted bits to the top, like the exhaust pipes and aerials are cast in very soft rubber. It’s understandable, but there are lots of potential problems when you consider the open packaging and the possibility of them warping. Overall, the pieces on mine look fairly straight and I’m glad for that. The backside has the sculpted parachute pouches, which is a great touch, but that turbine is just itching for a flame effect part that wasn’t included.

The interior has a lot of detail, but again comes up short when compared to Mattel’s. Still, you get some detailed cushions sculpted on the seats, the Bat Fire Extinguisher and Bat Phone, both in red plastic, and some gauges and a shifter handle, as well as the handle protruding from the roof bar. This all looks pretty good.

It’s really the scale here that is such a downer. The figures are a tough fit, and they look way too big for it. The roof bar is at their shoulder line and their heads wind up just above the windscreen. So, here’s where that retro moniker really works as an all-excuses pass, because the scaling here really is pretty close to the scaling between MEGO’s vintage Batmobile and the figures in the line. And admittedly, there’s certainly some relative charm to it, especially if you’re like me and grew up playing with those toys. Honestly, the scaling here is actually a little better than what we saw with MEGO’s toys, but that’s still a pretty flimsy excuse to make an under-sized Batmobile.

In all fairness, I knew about the size thing when I bought the Batmobile. I was originally going to just use the Mattel one to display with these figures, but then I decided I was going all in with this line, so I picked it up. With a $30 MSRP, it’s almost half the price of the Mattel Batmobile, and that’s not counting for inflation on a toy that came out about eight years ago. Granted, I got my Mattel Batmobile on clearance for $22, but that was just a really lucky grab! Knowing what I was getting going in, I’m not at all sorry I picked it up, but if you do already own the Mattel version, you may want to give this one a pass! On the other hand, that toy is going for quite a bit these days so this might be a decent cheaper alternative, especially if you just want a Batmobile to display on your shelf. It’s one of those give-and-take scenerios. I am excited to see how this will look with McFarlane’s Batcave playset when I eventually get to opening it. But next time I revisit this line, we’ll check out some of Batman’s Rogue Gallery!