G. I. JOE Ultimates: Baroness (Blue Suit) and Destro by Super7

I am doubling down my commitment to get current on Super7 GI JOE Ultimates, because I am seriously behind! And yes, doubling down means I’ll be doubling up on some of these figures to get caught up a little faster. Today I’ll be trekking back to the second wave, and since I’ve already looked at Flint and Lady Jaye, let’s have a look at the other half: Destro and The Baroness! Buckle up and try to pace yourself, this will be a long ride with over 70 pictures!

We’ve seen the packaging before and know exactly what to expect. The figures come in window boxes with sleeves over the top and these look fantastic. There’s a high gloss blue camo deco with a bold crimson Cobra emblem emblazoned on the fronts and everything is finished off with a deco that looks like the metal with paint that has been scraped off in areas down to the bare metal. Lift off the top and you get a good look at the figure and accessories through the window, and there are bio blurbs on the back panel with some character art from the Sunbow cartoon! Everything is collector friendly, but as good as these boxes look, I don’t have the space to keep them, so they are getting recycled. Let’s start with The Baroness!

This figure is designed to work based on the Marvel comic book or Sunbow cartoon. Obviously, The Baroness has had different costumes over the years, but in this case the blue and yellow suit references the original Sunbow Miniseries or her early comic appearances. Now, it’s probably been ten years since I read any of those comics, but I will say I liked this look for her in the cartoon even though it was short lived. The coloring here is really gorgeous with the blue and bright yellow playing off each other beautifully, plus the black of the boots and gauntlets and the pale blue stripes running down the legs. Other than a seam running down the center of the body suit and some rumples on the boots and gloves, the only other real sculpted detail is the quilting on the belt, collar, and shoulder straps. Yes, it’s a very simple look but it’s faithful to the toon appearance. The holster was worn by Baroness in the comic and it can be removed for more of a Sunbow look, but doing so leaves a hole in the leg. Fortunately, I dig the holster, so I’ll be leaving it on.

You get a whopping four heads to choose from. The first two have the green tinted glasses, with one being a neutral expression and the other with furled eyebrows and a smirk. I really like both of these and it’s a toss up as to which one I’ll go with the most. I think the neutral face looks slightly better, but the smirk gives her more personality. Yeah, this figure makes use of the flesh toned plastic as opposed to painted face. Personally, I think it looks fine on its own, but there’s definitely a disparity when displayed next to Duke from the first wave. The hair sculpt is good, but sadly it renders the neck articulation all but null and void.

The third head is a comic based portrait and I don’t like it as much as either of the previous two. It’s the glasses that are a mixed bag. The lenses just look too big. Not terrible, but not the look I’d be going for with display. The hair here has the same hindering effect on the neck articulation, but it does add some blue highlights, perhaps to evoke the comic book coloring. Either way, this one is not for me.

And finally, we get the gasmask head, which Super 7 states is a comic book reference, but damn it looks like it would fit right in with the Sunbow aesthetic too. This creepy pale gray mask has a pair of blue painted eye lenses, a filter off to one side, and a tube that runs down to an O2 tank that she can wear on the back, secured by a shoulder strap. It’s all sculpted as one piece and it looks awesome!

I’ve looked at enough Ultimates figures so I won’t run through all the articulation. As usual, what we get follows the formula of emphasizing clean cartoon aesthetics at the expense of posability. At this point you either accept it or move on. I’ve gone on record saying I mostly don’t mind what we get here, although I would have liked more range in the elbows. The joints on my figure all feel smooth and solid, and I’m surprised at how reasonably balanced she is despite having those high heels. The ab crunch hinge we get on most of the men is replaced here with a ball joint under her chest. Of course, you get a ton of hands, which include fists and plenty to work with the accessories. With that having been said, I would have liked a pair of relaxed hands or karate chop hands, but neither are included.

As with most GI JOE Ultimates, you get a lot of accessories, and it’s a pretty varied mix of extras inspired by the cartoon, comic book, and original toy. Starting off with the weapons, you get a dagger and a pistol. The pistol can be stored in the holster as well as wielded in either left or right hand. It’s a simple cartoony looking sculpt cast in dark gray plastic. The dagger is a stout straight blade and a grooved grip all painted in silver.

Next up is a laser rifle, which is supposedly inspired by the weapon released with the original RAH version of The Baroness. There are some similarities, but it’s not a great likeness. It does have the skeletal stock and a magazine, but the top just has a rail and is missing the scope from the RAH weapon. I’m not saying this is a bad looking rifle, I like it a lot, but it’s a pretty loose take on the original. It may have been better if S7 had not noted it’s inspiration in the solicitation info. There is a soft rubber carry strap included, which pegs in at the stock and base of the foregrip, but I can’t get it to peg in to the front properly so I just cast it aside.

The final weapon is based on the cartoon and I love this one. It has that lovely laser sub-machine gun design that was all over the Sunbow aesthetic. It’s cast in the same dark gray plastic as the pistol, has a very simple toony sculpt, and this one does have a scope mounted on top.

The final two accessories are comic based, so offhand I’m not really familiar with their context. The first is called a cameragun and I dig this one a lot. It looks like something that could have easily shown up in the cartoon. What does it do? Don’t know! But I’ll concoct some crazy Cobra scheme for it in my head. The other accessory is a tiny white syringe and I can’t show it to you since it’s disappeared… because, well it’s tiny. Crazy enough one of the hands is specifically made to hold the syringe, so I’m not sure why they didn’t just sculpt it as part of the hand. But I’ll claim responsibility for losing it and we’ll move on.

I really like how Super7 cast a wide net over this one to appeal to cartoon and comics fans, especially since this look was short-lived in the cartoon so there weren’t nearly enough cartoon-inspired extras that could be included. I’m sure a lot of collectors would have rather S7 went straight to the more iconic black-suited Baroness, but I’m really happy that we got this one as well. I watched the hell out of that first Miniseries, so for a long time this was my Baroness and I remember desperately wanting a figure of this design. OK, let’s move on to Destro!

Unlike The Baroness, Destro has had the same iconic look through the cartoon’s run and he didn’t look that much different from the RAH figure, either. And boy does he have a unique fashion sense! He has his black jumpsuit with ostentatious, red lapel-collar thing that plunges all the way down to his belt buckle, leaving his manly muffiny McCullen chest exposed. The amulet is sculpted as part of the body so it does stay put. His boots and belt are matte gray and he has a rather stylized M on the buckle. His gauntlets and arm bracers are painted in a beautifully premium metallic silver finish, as is his masked head. Two red straps encircle his right thigh, presumably to attach a non-existent holster. I gotta say all the sculpted muscles on his back are well done as well. This is a great looking Sunbow-styled figure!

Destro does come with weapons options for both of his gauntlets. You can go with rockets on both, or follow the RAH figure and place rockets on his right arm and a brace of grenades on his left. These are cast on soft plastic frames that clip onto the arm bracers. I don’t recall him having these all that often in the cartoon, so it’s nice to have the option to go without. But, I do remember him firing them off in the episode Skeletons in the Closet. We’ll see a few accessories from that episode, which explored Destro’s family heritage and was also remarkable for having Lady Jaye running around in a torn nightgown for at least half of it. Oh, and also nearly getting sacrificed to a Lovecraftian Eldar God. YO JOE!!!

There are no less than four heads to choose from, but only three are really practical. You get neutral expression, angry expression, and laughing expression. All of these are great, and if you’re wondering how a metal mask can make all these expressions, just remember that it’s a cartoon with a lot more inexplicable stuff going on in it than Destro’s mask. I really dig the black eyes with green pupils, which was so distinctive in the cartoon and like the gauntlets, the silver paint used on these heads is beautiful. I’ll likely go with either of the first two for regular display.

The fourth head is from covered in molten lava, recreating a scene from the second episode of The Pyramids of Darkness Miniseries. It’s more of a joke reference than a useful extra, because who is going to display the figure with this? And while we’re touching on this reference, they also included the hand sander that he used to get rid of the lava in the same scene. Yeah, I kind of get what they were going for here, but I feel like it’s just tossing in accessories as a reference, rather than something most collectors are ever going to display. It’s fun to have a laugh and say, “I remember that!” as you take it out of the tray, try it out and then forget about it forever. I would much rather have had a black briefcase as a reference to the RAH figure than this head and sander.

Destro’s articulation is smooth and works well with the usual points in the arms and legs. While most of the guys in this line get ab crunch hinges, Destro gets just a ball joint in the waist so as not to break up the sculpting on his chest, and I believe that was a good idea. He’s extremely well balanced, thanks to his big chonky boots, and of course you get a lot of hands to work with his accessories, as well as a pair of fists.

Destro is a weapons dealer so he definitely needs to come with some weapons! Let’s start with a couple of pistols. The first is a fairly realistic looking automatic pistol, which is absolutely huge, almost to a point of looking silly. I don’t know where S7 pulled this design from, but it’s too oversized and generic to be much use to me. The second has more of a sci-fi element to it. It’s very simple and while I don’t recognize it, it looks like it could be based on a Sunbow design. Both are cast in dark gray plastic and neither of these are all that impressive.

He comes with a third pistol, which is taken directly from the previously mentioned episode, Skeletons in the Closet. He uses this to fire at Lady Jaye and Flint while they’re escaping. I dig the design on this one, it’s very much in line with the cartoon aesthetic, and this is the one I will likely display him with.

Moving on to the heavier artillery, you get a missile launcher and missile. The launcher is just a big black tube, which looks like it’s designed to telescope for easier carry. There’s a fin on the top and a handle and trigger on the bottom. The missile is dark purple with a black warhead and it will slide all the way inside the launcher tube, but I like to have it peeking out the front a bit so you know it’s there.

The final weapon is the Molecular Reducer and Enlarger, which isn’t really a weapon, it’s just a gun that fires a beam that, well… does exactly what the name says. Cobra used it to shrink down its forces and sneak them into GI JOE HQ inside toys that were meant to be Christmas presents for a Toys For Tots program and yes, that’s all something that really happened in the episode Cobra CLAWS Are Coming To Town.

Moving away from the weapons, Destro comes with a pair of binoculars, which are pretty lame. It’s just a blue box with lighter blue paint on the front and back lenses. Totally forgettable. On the plus side, he also has the joystick controller he used to make the gladiators fight in The Arena of Sport, seen in the very first Miniseries. I love this thing! It’s clearly designed to look like an Atari 2600 joystick and it has some nice paint apps on the red button and top ball of the stick, as well as some paint to reflect the glowing panels on the sides. The hands provided work really well with it.

The final accessory is again drawn from Skeletons in the Closet and it’s the iron mask that they made Destro’s ancestor wear after he was found guilty of witchcraft. It’s a really nice recreation of the cartoon version, and while he never actually wore it in the cartoon, you can put it on the figure. I think this would look great mounted on the wall of a diorama of Destro’s office or even just sitting on a desk.

As a figure, I think Destro turned out great. As for the selection of accessories? Well, there’s a few real bangers in here, but then some of it feels rather useless. The joystick is fun, the mask is great, and I love how they did his arm weapons. I dig the one Sunbow gun and the Molecular Reducer too. But stuff like the lava head and hand sander are just joke references that don’t really add much value to the package. Also, two of the pistols and the binoculars are just kind of lame and forgettable. I feel like his briefcase and maybe a rifle would have been better. Or how about three canisters of rare elements for The MASS Device or a component from The Weather Dominator?

It’s a pretty good gauge of how much I liked figures when I can’t stop taking pictures of them, and that was certainly the case here. These are tons of fun to play with, and finally getting Sunbow stylized GI JOE figures like these is like a dream come true. And while this review definitely went long, I think it was worth it, because now that I’m completely through Waves 1 and 2, I can work on knocking out the rest of Wave 3, and get myself current to 4, all hopefully before Wave 5 comes out. Obviously, Destro and Baroness were heavy hitters to add to this collection, although Baroness has since been updated to her black outfit in the most recent wave. And while I had issues with some of the accessory choices included with Destro, I think both of these figures turned out great! As for moving forward, I may tackle some of the next figures solo, or double up some from different waves. But, I also need to keep chipping away at GI JOE Classified. So many great GI JOE toys to enjoy and so little time! Either way, I expect to get back to this line at some point next week!

G.I. JOE: Profit Director Destro Statue by Diamond Select

Oh, Diamond Select PVC Statues, why can’t I quit you? It’s probably because they almost always go on deep discount and become some of the best value statues out there. But it’s usually the Marvel and DC Galleries that trap me, and now they’re doing GI JOE. I’ve had my eye on Destro for a while and was about to pull the trigger, but when I found the Limited Edition variant version was going for even less, I decided to go for Pimp Daddy Destro instead of the regular flavor.

DST does a nice job with these boxes, giving you windows top, front, left, and right to let plenty of light in. Combine that with the figure being in a clear clamshell tray and these display pretty damn well in the box. The front has the GI JOE logo, along with the explosion background and “COBRA ENEMY” logo from the vintage toy packages. This one is a PX Exclusive, and I have no idea what that means, other than it’s limited to 3,000 pieces and has foil tape on the top flap to indicate such. But all in all, this is just a recolor of the regular retail release. Everything here is collector friendly, and Destro just requires his rocket blast part to be attached to his arm to get him ready for display!

Destro’s Pimp Daddy look will never replace his more iconic costume as my favorite, but I still like it a lot. His black costume is switched out for a maroon one with some bitchin leopard skin panels on his hips and the interior of his collar. Also, the head is gold instead of silver, the briefcase is gold instead of black, and while the original statue had him splashing through blue water, it’s now some kind of contaminated green sewage water. But putting aside the new coloring, I think the pose and composition of this statue is just absolutely fantastic in the way that it tells a story. Destro’s secret meeting place has been discovered by the JOEs, and he’s escaping through the sewers. JOE fire stirs up the water as he returns fire with one of his wrist rockets. But at least he secured the case with the payment! This piece just has so much energy, and it looks like it’s ripped straight off the cover of a comic book!

The sculpted detail is quite nice, with Destro himself being fairly ripped, and showing off some great muscle definition under his suit. Close scrutiny shows stitching in the pouches, clasps on his boots, and even tiny screws securing his holster, and his blinged out pistol which looks so good I would have sworn it was removable, even when it isn’t. The paintwork is also really sharp, with the gold having a quality satin finish, and there’s a bit of a wash on the holster.

The head sculpt is also admirable, with Destro pulling a face that reflects how displeased he is at being interrupted. This dude is clearly just having the worst day. There’s an intensity to his furled brow and wrinkled nose that combines perfectly with the piercing black and green eyes. You get the heavy bolted collar around the bottom of the mask, and his large red ruby hanging askew around his neck with sculpted gold chain. There’s a little overspray of red paint on the silver border of the necklace, which is the only real paint flub I can see on the statue.

The rocket effect is nicely done, with the translucent orange combustion effect tabbing into the arm. It explodes from the launcher and forms a serpentine trail of thrust behind the little gold rocket. This is an example of an effect part done extraordinarily well.

Another equally amazing effect is the translucent base of toxic green water. The sludge flows from a grate in the wall causing some ripples, and the splash effects of the JOE machine gun fire and Destro’s boot are beautifully done. You also get a severed Battle Android Trooper head, suggesting that the JOE team took care of Destro’s backup, which is another wonderful little touch to the base.

The piping is painted with a decrepit rust and there are sculpted brackets and bolts holding them to the wall. The wall itself features some great paintwork and more detailed sculpting, even to the back side, which will probably never be visible when this statue is displayed. DST uses the term PVC Diorama for their Gallery statues, which I always suspected was a way to get around licensing with Marvel and DC. Most of the time they really aren’t anything close to a diorama, but Destro here is the exception to the rule, and a lot of thought and effort went into this base.

The MSRP on this piece was $49.99, but playing the waiting game on most of DST’s Gallery Statues almost always pays off. In this case, I was able to get Pimp Daddy Destro for $25. It’s crazy that the limited release is currently selling for about $10 less than the regular retail release, but I’m chalking that up to there being a higher demand on the more iconic outfit version. Indeed, the Exclusive moniker tends to be the kiss of death for these statues on the secondary market, even with the Marvel and DC releases, which still strikes me as odd given the stricter limitations over the retail releases. Either way, I’m happy to add this one to my collection, and I like it enough that I will probably grab the regular version as well before moving on to The Baroness!

GI JOE Classified: Destro (Profit Director) by Hasbro

What’s this? A midweek review? Am I actually getting back on track in this undiscovered country we call 2021? Well let’s not get ahead of ourselves, but I am trying! Goddammit, I’m trying! Now, it’s no secret that I’m falling behind in all of my reviews, but I was particularly aghast to find that I last visited with the GI JOE Classified line all the way back in September of last year when I checked out Cobra Commander. Holy shit, that seems like forever ago! OK, so I won’t deny that the rough distribution of this line maybe soured me on it for a bit, but it hasn’t stopped me from grabbing up every new figure I could find. So, let’s try to make up for lost time and have a look at Destro’s second appearance in the line. It’s Profit Director Destro!

Normally I’d be crying foul at a repaint this soon, but it’s hard to get worked up when we’re talking about a direct homage to Hasbro’s rare and infamous Pimp Daddy Destro from the late 90’s. From my understanding, there were only a limited number of the original figure made, and even fewer actually got into packages. And speaking of which… just look at that new packaging! We get all new highly stylized character art, a crazy color scheme, and some gorgeous gold foil lettering for what is the fifteenth numbered figure in the series! Most of you probably know that I don’t keep the packaging for most of my figures, but I do believe I’ll make an exception with this one. It just looks great! So let’s carefully open this up and check out the goods!

Basically this is a repaint of the regular Destro we got, with some extras to sweeten the deal. And what a repaint it is! His classic black suit has been replaced with a maroon one, with leopard patches around the waist, on the upper legs. and lining that high collar. He’s got some gray in the belt and knee pads, and his boots are now fitted with golden toes! His arm bracers are now bright red, as is his holster and thigh rig, and the rockets on his right bracer are pure gold! As if his repainted suit wasn’t audacious enough, Destro now comes with a bright red cape partially covered in a leopard skin, complete with the paws resting on his shoulders and a gold chain holding it across his chest. This is definitely not Covert Ops Destro! Hell, I’d like to imagine that he bagged that leopard himself and drove it home strapped to the canopy of a HISS tank. I also have to say that I love the way the cape snaps under the high collar. It fits very well!

If you’re going to dress like a pimp and you happen to wear a metal mask, why not complete the look by going gold, right? Well, that’s exactly what Destro did and the result is quite stunning. Part of me wishes they had gone all in and vac-metaled the shit out that helmet, but what we got still looks great, and it’ll likely last a lot longer. Indeed, the gold paint has a nice sheen to it and it brings out all the details in the facial sculpt quite nicely. All he’s missing is a wide-brimmed hat and some shades!

Well, there’s no hat, but he does come with a pair of sunglasses! Are the shades a bit too much? I think they are. They kinda cross the line. The outfit mingles with parody, but I think the glasses embrace it. I don’t know that I’m going to use them much.

I’ve already covered the articulation the when I looked at the original Destro release, so I won’t run through it again here. Suffice it to say, Destro’s got all the points we come to expect from Hasbro’s 6-inch lines, plus a few extra surprises. The shoulders on that cape do inhibit his range of motion in the upper arms a bit, but if you want him to get down and dirty and be more agile in a fight, he can always cast off the cape.

Moving on to accessories, This Destro exchanges the larger gun that came with the first release for a flaming handful of cash. I’m not sure what profit there is in burning money, but it definitely makes for a strong statement. Sure, the flame effect is rubbish and they really should have gone with some translucent orange plastic instead of paint, but it’s still a fun extra to pose him with. What’s the point of it? He’s got so much money, he can afford to burn it, I guess? Or maybe it’s just a gangsta thing the kids are doing these days.

So yeah, Pimp Destro is down to one weapon and that’s the small pistol. It’s the same sculpt as last time, and since it was already blinged out in gold, Hasbro didn’t have to repaint it to match the new outfit. He has a trigger finger on both hands, so he can brandish this pistol left or right, and it also fits nicely into his holster.

The final accessory is the same briefcase we saw last time, but it too has been hit by the Midas touch and repainted in gold. It’s got some Cobra emblems sculpted into the sides, and it opens to reveal a sculpted computer on one side and some very unconvincing cash on the other.

If memory serves, this Destro was an Amazon exclusive and either way it’s still available on the site for $25. No, this is figure is not everyone’s cup of tea. And people who are new to GI JOE or casual collectors may be bewildered by the sight of it. But it does represent a cool and unusual variant in the line’s history. I’ll admit that I mostly bought it as a curiosity, but I do find the repaint to be pretty compelling. I think the only thing that detracts from it is the bright red plastic used for the holster. I don’t mind it on the arm bracers, but the holster and thigh rig do look a little cheap in this color. Granted, I do not plan on this figure representing Destro on my shelf, but I do think it’s fun and I’m happy to own it. All the more reason to keep that box, as I’ll likely wind up displaying him in it. And… yeah, since I used a picture of Baroness in this review, I guess I should finally get around to reviewing her next week.

GI JOE Pursuit of Cobra: Arctic Destro by Hasbro

[Howdy, Figure Fans, I’m tossing in a quickie for today’s update. It’s a departure from what I had planned, but I managed to really mess up my back this weekend and sitting at my computer desk for any length of time is absolute torture. Considering I wrote a fair portion of today’s feature in agony, I may have been a little bit hard on poor Destro here. Nonetheless, I’m hoping it’ll either start mending or I can get my hands on some decent painkillers before I’m back in the saddle tomorrow. -FF]

I’ve featured some of the Pursuit of Cobra vehicles on FigureFan in the past, but no doubt some people are wondering why I haven’t been looking at any of the carded figures. Well, I’ll grant you they look like amazing figures, but as far as I’m concerned the 25th Anni. Collection are the definitive versions of these characters and I decided that I was not going to collect a whole new line of the same guys and gals. I have to draw the line somewhere. Nonetheless, I’ve been meaning to pick up Destro here for a little while, mainly just to put him in my Arctic HISS. So, last week, I was ordering some figures from Amazon and I came in just a couple of bucks under the minimum for free shipping, so I threw Destro on to tilt the scale in my favor. I know, not exactly a ringing endorsement for why I bought him, but let’s check him out anyway…

The gorgeous retro cards for the 25th Anni. line are a hard act to follow, but Pursuit of Cobra has made a valiant effort. The cards are more dark and gritty, but they still look absolutely fantastic and display the figure beautifully. The back panel shows off an amazing photo diorama of the figures and toys in action. There’s also a filecard that you can clip and save, but it lacks the meaty content of the vintage filecards. The filecard also lists a piece of “mission specific equipment” that the figure doesn’t even come with. I usually have no qualms about tearing open my figures, but Destro here actually gave me pause. Hmm… maybe I should start collecting these just to hang them on my wall.
Opening up the bubble you see that the pack includes Destro, a figure stand, a tightly wadded up catalog-slash-poster, and a shitload of accessories. I’m going to break convention and start with the accessories, because there’s a lot of them and I don’t know what half of them really are. You get a pair of what looks like ice climbing spikes; You get a freeze gun with a hose and backpack; A couple of pieces of ice, which I assume are to attach to the figure Destro is shooting with the ice gun; A pair of goggles; An ice drill; Something that looks like a Star Wars Scout Trooper gun; And a standard Cobra figure stand with “Destro” printed on it. I don’t have a lot to say about a lot of this stuff, except the backpack for the ice gun doesn’t peg into his back very well, and I don’t like the way the hose comes out of the top. I don’t usually complain about accessories, but I just feel like Hasbro went for quantity over quality here.
Destro himself is wearing arctic gear with a soft plastic jacket and hood. The body looks nice and the snowy wash looks really good for a figure in this scale and price range. I’m not all that crazy about the head and I can’t really put my finger on what it is that turns me off. The eyes might be too big. It does have a pretty cool snowy finish on the top half as if his mask is freezing over. The goggles fit really well either up on his forehead or down over his eyes. I don’t have a lot else to say about this guy. The realism of the sculpt is very good, but there’s just nothing about him that stands out.
Articulation is what we’ve come to expect from the modern 3 3/4″ Hasbro figures. You get universal movement in the shoulders and hips; A ball jointed neck; Hinges in the elbows and double hinges in the knees; swivel cuts in the wrists; Swivels and hinges in the ankles; and the universal joint in the torso.
I got Destro for my Arctic HISS, and he’ll be fine for that, but I’m actually surprised at how little this figure impresses me. There’s nothing specific that I can really beef about, but he’s just a bland figure with an overkill of underwhelming accessories. I still think he looks incredible on the card and I wouldn’t be opposed to picking up more of these figures to keep carded, but only if I got them on the cheap. I’m sure Destro isn’t the best of this line, but he certainly doesn’t make me want to run out and buy more. Maybe I’ll start jumping back on board with the 30th Anniversary stuff.