I thought this day would never come, but here it is. I finally picked up the Stealth Kid Flash figure from Mattel’s 4-inch Young Justice line. Generally speaking, I don’t go through a lot of trouble hunting down specific figures. Either I’m lucky enough to not collect lines that are difficult to get, I’m patient enough to play the long waiting game, or there’s just nothing out there that I’m going to lose sleep over not having in my collection. (Except for you, 2011 SDCC Starscream Skystriker… I haven’t forgotten about you yet!) That having been said, not having this release has been sticking in my craw for a long time now. It has nothing to do with the figure, I honestly couldn’t give two shits about this figure, but it happens to be packed with the last piece I needed to complete my C&C Hall of Justice.
It’s hard for me to recall the last time something has made me this outraged toward a particular toy company. (It’s like… let’s say Hasbro decided to do figures based off the Combaticons from the new Fall of Cyberton game, but then saved the game accurate colors for an expensive Con Exclusive and then released the figures at retail in hideous day-glo colors. Colors so bad, that even the G2 versions points and laughs at them!) But, yeah, Mattel really pissed me off with this whole scenario. It was bad enough when they made the final wave of figures nearly all repaints and rehashes. I was still willing to bite the bullet and pick them up just to finish my Hall of Justice. But no, they made one figure out of the entire lot next to impossible to find. Stealth Kid Flash became my White Whale. And yet against all reason, while I was browsing Ebay’s newly listed “Buy It Now” auctions, he turned up for the unthinkable price of just $13.98. Never did the ability to buy a figure I didn’t really want ever make me so happy.
There’s the packaging. I still like it a lot, even though this line ended up leaving a sour taste in my mouth. It’s colorful, it’s pleasing, and the way the C&C piece is hidden behind a false back in the bubble is very clever. Honestly, they could have just packed the C&C parts under the bubble and hidden the figure and I would have been just as happy. Honestly, they could have just left the figure out entirely and… oh, you get the point.
There’s the figure. It’s a repaint. You can see a look at the original one HERE, because I’m not going to waste a lot of time on him again. This release has got some extra bits to attach to his wrists. I have no idea what they’re supposed to be. The figure has five points of articulation: Swivels in the head, shoulders and hips. I’ve got nothing more to say other than, “Goodbye, Stealth Kid Flash. I consign you to the bottomless tote where you will drown in a sea of shitty oversized missile launchers, spare Collect & Connect parts, and where you will forever smell like Moss Man’s spare head. May God have mercy on your little plastic soul.”
And there they are… the last two pieces of the Hall of Justice. I had to think hard to remember where I put the rest of it. Turns out it was disassembled and at the bottom of a box of baggied Infinite Heroes and JLU figures. I buried it there because just looking at it made me sick. Let’s cobble this baby together and see if it was worth all the bother.
Yes, yes it was. It’s beautiful! This thing was a really great idea on Mattel’s part, especially if the goal was to get people like me to buy a whole lot of figures they wouldn’t have otherwise bothered with. It’s big, it looks great and the best thing is that it’s really versatile and can be used as a backdrop to display everything from Young Justice figures to DCUC and DC Direct. Hell, put your DC Lego minifigs in front of it and it’s almost to scale! It’s fairly sturdy for what it is, and with a little care, you can easily break it down again for storage if you need to.
And so endeth an epic struggle in which a middle aged man overcame great strife to get a couple pieces of plastic to complete a larger piece of plastic. It doesn’t sound so epic in the retelling, but I can tell you this: I finally have satisfaction and can rest easy knowing that my Hall of Justice is finally complete. This may or may not be the last time the 4-inch Young Justice line appears here on FigureFan. If the 4-inch Artemis ever turns up at a decent price, I’d buy her. I may eventually pick up that last Amazo 2-pack. Honestly, it’s a cool little line of figures and they sure do look great lined up in front of that Hall of Justice.