Tuesday and Wednesday we looked at the good stuff, now it’s time to wade into the dark, stanky underbelly of 2013’s offerings. While my Favorites List is tough to compile because there’s so much to choose from, my Disappointments List is tough for just the opposite reason. Everything I feature on FFZ is here because I bought it with my own hard earned monies, and naturally I don’t buy stuff that I think I’m going to hate. As a result, this list is NOT indicative of the worst releases of 2013. You won’t see a Jazwares World War Z figure here because I’d never buy that garbage. And with remarks like that, they sure as hell aren’t going to send me one! No, this is the stuff that I wanted in my collection, but once I got it, it just didn’t live up to my expectations… hence the name Disappointments! Sure it might be more fun to rag on all the garbage that clogged the shelves and pegs this past year, but that’s not what this list is about. I still tried to stick to my one slot per toy line rule, but in a couple of cases here you’ll see a fudged it a bit.

DC Unlimited “New 52” Wonder Woman by Mattel: When I embarked on collecting the “New 52” figures I needed to decide whether I was going to go with Mattel’s extension of the DCUC format or the DC Collectibles versions. I went with Mattel mainly because I have something like 150 of their DCUC style figures and I wanted the “New 52” stuff to fit in. Now, keep in mind, most of Mattel’s “New 52” figures are actually quite good and some are excellent, but Wonder Woman here was merely passable. She’s too small, the paintwork isn’t very good and the waxy sculpt is nothing exceptional. And just to rub salt in the wound, Mattel abandoned the DCUC style before even completing the Justice League let alone other “New 52” characters. now I’m faced with the prospect of having to rebuy these characters as DC Collectibles versions so I can amass a more complete collection.

Star Wars Vintage Collection: AT-ST by Hasbro: Technically released as a K-Mart Exclusive in 2012, I didn’t get mine until last year and that’s why it lands on this list. Even in 2012 this was a re-release of an older toy that I have wanted in my collection for a long while and unfortunately the pay-off wasn’t at all worth it. While I appreciate the bigger scale and the ability to fit two figures in the cockpit, the bland sculpt takes a step back from even the original Kenner toy. Add to that sub-par paintwork, the fact that it looks like it’s been trudging through mountains of Ewok shit, and a virtual inability to stand on its own and this thing sadly turned out to be a lemon. At least the box looked good, but even that is marred by the obnoxious K-Mart Exclusive bubble. The only saving grace here is that I got a really good price on it.

Batman Classic TV Series Catwoman by Mattel: I was pretty torn on this figure when I featured her back in November, but the following weeks haven’t done her any favors. Maybe it’s because she’s shelf dived too many times and caused too many figure avalanches in my display case. Maybe it’s because I just can’t get past her weirdly disproportionate arms. Either way, she’s been drawing a lot of attention to herself and pissing me off. She’s a decidedly average figure that should have been so much better. None of the 1966 Batman figures were stellar efforts, but Catwoman arrived last and maybe, in retrospect, drove home just how much better things would have been if someone like NECA or even DC Collectibles had gotten the license to do this line.

 Star Wars Black (3 ¾” Scale) Stormtrooper by Hasbro: I’ve already pointed out that most items on this list are here because they were more disappointing than truly terrible. Well, here’s the exception because this Stormtrooper is just a piece of crap that I bought on an impulse because he was cheap. I have since dubbed him Derpy Trooper. He’s a recent feature so I won’t waste a lot of time here recapping just how terrible he is. Suffice it to say I got him for half off his MSRP and he was still a disappointment. How many f’ing years have you been making Stormtrooper figures now, Hasbro? You’d think it would be impossible to screw it up this badly. P.S. Your new Biker Scout sucks too!

Transformers Generations: Fall of Cybertron Bruticus by Hasbro: It pains me to list this figure here because I genuinely do appreciate Hasbro releasing a proper combiner again and doing it as a wave of individual figures was clever and fun. Nonetheless, while some of the individual figures were decent enough, combined they made for a rather poor and terribly proportioned effort. What makes it worse is that it seems like the figure was salvageable, as some third-party companies have proven with the help of add on kits. Maybe a couple more passes on the drawing board could have made this guy a win. You also might have considered going with what worked in the past and making Onslaught bigger than the limbs. I also wanted to include Bruticus here for Hasbro’s inexplicable decision to release retail versions of the Combaticons in obnoxious colors at odds with those those seen in the game. It was a ridiculous decision that seems to serve no purpose other than to piss off collectors. In other words, me!

Ok, that’s enough heartbreak for one day. Join me tomorrow as we wrap up this crap with a look at my Final Five Biggest Disappointments of 2013.