Masters of the Universe Classics: Snake Face by Mattel

So, my December box from Matty Collector arrived yesterday dramatically increasing the already large stack of unopened MOTUC figures in the corner. Damn, and I was just starting to make a dent in it too! Better get on those. Today I’m opening one of the figures that Matty re-issued for sale in November and it is Snake Face. Hmm… I wonder what he’s all about!

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Looking at him through the bubble, I can just about get a taste of the nightmares that this unholy thing is going to induce. The package consists of the usual Greyskull inspired deco and the bubble features a “Snake Men” sticker, just in case you were unsure about the faction of a guy named Snake Face who is a snake man with snakes coming out of every orifice on his head. SNAKES!!! This guy makes Serpentor from GI JOE look subtle by comparison. The bio is mostly uninteresting to me, although it does declare that he has been enchanted with the power to turn people to stone. I’m also guessing he has the power to make me shit myself if I ever saw him in real life. Because he looks like this…

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Christ almighty! Matty really dialed up the disturbing factor to about an eleven on this figure. Since MOTUC is technically an adult collector line, I went back to find a picture of the vintage figure to see if the Mattel of yesteryear had inflicted this same level of horror on kids and I was pretty shocked to see that they had. The vintage figure is possibly made even a tad more disturbing by his functioning action feature and the fact that he’s aimed at eight year old kids. I looked in vain to find an actual commercial featuring this guy, but I did unearth this disturbing slice of nightmare fuel made all the worse by its poor quality.  Anywho, let’s back up and check out the figure.

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Even in his basic form, Snake Face gives me the creeps and a lot of it has to do with his open fangy maw. It looks like he’s dislocated his jaw and is about to attempt to eat something his own size. All of the Snake Men have been pretty solid figures, but there’s just something about this dude’s portrait that just oozes character. His helmet kind of reminds me of the ones worn by the Palace Guard, which makes me want to throw out his bio and just pretend this guy was once a human guard who got all snaked up, just like poor Duncan. One of the cool things about his helmet is all those snakes actually have their tails hanging down the back to form a ghastly pony tail.

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The rest of Snake Face is somewhat low key. I do really dig the the extra scaly texturing on his arms and the snakes that wrap around his fore arms. His purple scaled undies are a questionable choice, but his vest has a really nice black finish and some decent sculpted detail. The vest is a bit chunky on him and Snake Face has a bit of a problem getting his arms down to his sides… Yes, I mean even more so than most MOTUC figures. That’s not such a big deal for me because this guy is going to be posed on my shelf with his arms held up in an “oogity boogity” fashion and in full snake deployment mode.

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And that brings us back to Snake Face when he’s all snaked out, which is primarily achieved with a swappable head. If it isn’t enough that he has blood red snakes pouring out of his mouth, eye holes and from behind his ears, he also has two removable straps on his vest that allow you to plug in two additional snakes pouring out of his belly. I don’t care if I was the most powerful man in the universe, if this guy was coming at me, I’d drop my sword and run for the hills. Seriously, f’ck that shit!

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Snake Face comes with a pretty cool shield with a very distinctive design. Can you guess what it is? SNAKES! Yeah, you got it. And just to make sure his chosen theme isn’t too subtle, he also comes with a snake staff. It’s the same one we’ve seen a whole bunch of times now, only this time it’s molded in green plastic, which I find a lot more appropriate than the black one that came with Tung Lashor. Obviously these snake staffs are handed out at Snake Men Orientation.

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In a world where misguided parents are fighting to get Heisenberg figures off the pegs, it’s probably a good thing Snake Face here is by online subscription only. While the Walter White figure might promote kids to play meth dealer, Snake Face here will straight up give kids a glimpse into a Meth fueled hell ride. They should have just called him Methamphetamine Psychosis-or. Hmm… on second thought, maybe they should sell this guy on the pegs as some kind of misguided PSA. Either way, I absolutely love this figure. He’s easily one of the creepiest pieces in my collection and he’s given me a new appreciation for my little Snake Men army.

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