No, you haven’t fallen into a time warp, I’m just really behind on my Legends figures and I’m only now in the process of making my way through the rather dated Rhino Wave. Today I’m checking out White Tiger, so let’s kick it off with a quick look at the packaging…
White Tiger shares her package with a giant Rhino torso piece that probably consists of more plastic than she does. She’s also packaged so that she’s un-enthusiastically raising her hand either to strike down one of her foes, or hail a taxi cab. I’m not sure which. I think this is actually the Ava Ayala version of the character, but I could be wrong on that one. I haven’t encountered White Tiger much in my Marvel readings. I’ve got nothing else to say about the package here, so let’s get her out and check out the figure… uh… wait, what?
JOL:”Hey, what are you doing? It’s Halloween and it’s Marvel Monday. You should be doing a Feature on me. I have a Jack O’Lantern for a head. And my name is Jack O’Lantern. I’m basically Halloween personified.”
What the hell, Jack? I did a Feature on you already.
JOL:”Well that showed poor planning. You should have saved me for Halloween. Look at how Halloweeny I am!”
Dude, I reviewed you back in June. I couldn’t wait. It would have held up my look at that whole wave.
WT: “Do you mind? I’m being reviewed here. You already had your turn!”
JOL: “Hush up, woman! The men are talking!”
WT: “Excuuuuuse me? What did you just say?”
JOL: “All I’m saying is that I was a perfect fit for Halloween on a Marvel Monday and you screwed it up. I ooze Halloween. Just look at me. I’m scary.”
SW: “I lost an arm. That’s kind of scary.”
JOL: “GET OUT!!! We’ve all seen your stump, woman! Now take it away!”
WT: “Yeah, seriously Jessica. That review was like a year ago and nobody remembers it. You need to get over that.”
SW: “Aww… It’s not fair. Hasbro used the same female buck for us, and your arms both work.”
JOL: “Jeezus. She’s a real downer”
Look, can I get on with it? I have to do six of these Features a week and I’m already a borderline alcoholic. You’re holding me up.
JOL: “Ooooh, poor you! You drink a lot and have too many toys to review… Fine! Piss all over Halloween with this crappy choice of a figure review. I wash my hands of it!”
WT: “Grrrrr…. THAT’S IT! I’VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU!”
JOL: “Unhand my face, you wretched woman!”
WT: “You want a review? Here’s one. Let’s talk about articulation. For starters, your head is on a ball joint…”
JOL: “Is this a good time to point out that this is just the author’s way of diverting us from the fact that he has no real interest in you as a character and nothing really worthwhile to say about you as a figure? Or that he mainly just bought you so he could get a Build-A-Figure part?”
Happy Halloween, Toy Hounds! …And for what it’s worth, I actually kind of dig White Tiger.
GR: “You know, I’m in this wave. You could have reviewed me. I’m a little Halloweeny.”
Shit. He’s right. Whelp, next week on Marvel Monday… GHOST RIDER!