The long and short of today’s post is that I have to take a little time off. I don’t know how long, but right now I’m betting it will be at least a week. I hope it won’t be more. If you aren’t interested in the details, just know that it’s family stuff and please check back for new content soon. If you are interested in what’s going on, here it is…
The last month has been a challenge that keeps getting harder and harder. A couple months back my Dad was diagnosed with an aggressive and fast moving cancer in his hip. It quickly robbed him of his ability to walk. He took his first round of chemo last week and unfortunately, it tanked his white blood cell count putting him in the hospital this past Tuesday. He was running crazy high fevers and was in a really bad way. That night I spent nearly two hours holding his hand while he slipped in and out of a delusional state. It was the worst thing I’ve ever seen in my life, because I love him so much. For the next few days he slipped in and out of high fevers as they isolated his infection and began treating him for it. Tonight he should be stable enough to move out of the ICU. But that just begins the real journey.
A week ago, when he finished his first round of chemo, he was optimistic and full of cheer. He had no noticeable side effects, and he was sure this was going to work. Now, his treatment has been side-lined. He’s lost at least a week of progress, and his pain just gets worse and worse. He can’t even turn over in his bed without serious pain. He has a long hard road ahead.
Now add to this mix the fact that my mother has dementia. She can still do things around the house. But she is continuing to lose her short term memory. She gets confused more easily and is getting to the point where she can’t be left home alone for very long. I have been juggling both of their care with work and it has felt like an impossible situation. Right now, I get up at 7am. Make my Mom lunch and drive over to her house. I make her coffee and breakfast and we head off to the hospital. She stays with my Dad while I go to work. After work, I drive back up to the hospital. Spend a little time with my Dad and then drive her back home. I get everything set up for her so she can watch TV for an hour or so before going to bed. I come home, chill a bit. Crash into bed and then start it all over again.
There are probably a hundred words that can describe how I feel right now. Some of the ones that come to mind are: Heart-broken, frustrated, exhausted, devastated, hopeless, and defeated. My only hope is to get my Dad home from the hospital and comfortable so that I can get some in-house care for them both.
Needless to say, this doesn’t leave me any time for this blog. And while that seems like a trivial thing when dealing with all of this, the truth is that this blog is therapy for me. It’s my lifeline when I’m drowning, and now I don’t even have that.
Right now, I’m just setting FFZ aside for this week. I’m not even going to try to do anything with it. Hell, I barely had time to type this. I hope to get something up maybe by the week of the 17th. Maybe sooner, maybe later.
I understand. I had to take hiatus last year for similar reasons. Take care!
Thanks, buddy. Hope it won’t be for long. This stupid blog is a labor of love. I would feel lost without it.
Like I said, take things one day at a time. I too know the pain of dealing with aging parents and trying to take care of them when they contract serious illness.
We’ll be rooting for you over here.
Thanks you. I appreciate your thoughts and support so much. One day at a time has been a good mantra for me every morning. Just get through the this day.
He was in good spirits today. His pain was manageable and I got him a milkshake. Lots of smiles. I’m hoping we will be able to take him home in a few days, get him settled, and get some at home nurse care.
Stay strong, Dave! Sending all the positivity I can. Wishing nothing but the best and feel free to vent via DM any time!
Thanks buddy. You guys are seriously helping me so much with your thoughts and kind words. I love you all.
It’s not much, but anything I can do to help, I’ll do!
Echoing what’s been said…positive thoughts and prayers, and wishing you–and parents–all the best! Been dealing with a lot of that myself the last year-plus, and especially the last few weeks, and still rattled from having to call 911 on Dad last Sunday and his hospitalization for a few days.
Wish there were some magic words to offer, and not sure if I can really “do” anything, but let me just add my voice to the moral support out there.
Not even sure the words I’m looking for, so hopefully the intent gets across.
Your kind words mean the world to me. It makes me feel like I’m not alone. Thank you.
I actually just re added you to my blog list .I used to follow you when I had my WordPress blog (Action Figs and Things) but lost contact when I jumped to Blogger.Anyways,take your time ,bro.I wish you and your family well.
Thanks so much, Tony.
Hi. I’ve been reading your reviews for many years and thoroughly enjoying them, but haven’t felt the need to post any comments. Very sorry to hear of your family troubles and I hope that your Dad is home soon. Best wishes from England.
Thank you so much for your kind words and for reading. I hope to be back in action soon.
Last year my father endured fast-moving pancreatic cancer. He lasted about 7 months before succumbing. It’s a very difficult thing to go through and I sympathize with the ordeal you and your parents are facing. Try and remember that your dad is still here, and enjoy the time you have, even if it is difficult right now. The plastic can wait!
That being said, I enjoy reading your blog, and I look forward to more entries in the future-but no rush!
Thank you so much. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate your kind words. My Dad was moved to Hospice yesterday. He is on pain meds and has been sleeping peacefully for the past day.
I’m sorry to hear about the hard road your family is on right now. We lost my mother-in-law at the end if 2018 and there was a couple years of pretty intense hospital-nursing home-our home-her home moves that just seemed to happen over and over. It was very hard on my wife, her mom and the whole family.
God bless you and yours. You’ll get through it.
Your reviews are a huge enjoyment for me. I look forward to them immensely, but take your time and come back when you are able, sir.
Thanks so much for your kind words, my friend.