What’s this? A midweek review? Am I actually getting back on track in this undiscovered country we call 2021? Well let’s not get ahead of ourselves, but I am trying! Goddammit, I’m trying! Now, it’s no secret that I’m falling behind in all of my reviews, but I was particularly aghast to find that I last visited with the GI JOE Classified line all the way back in September of last year when I checked out Cobra Commander. Holy shit, that seems like forever ago! OK, so I won’t deny that the rough distribution of this line maybe soured me on it for a bit, but it hasn’t stopped me from grabbing up every new figure I could find. So, let’s try to make up for lost time and have a look at Destro’s second appearance in the line. It’s Profit Director Destro!

Normally I’d be crying foul at a repaint this soon, but it’s hard to get worked up when we’re talking about a direct homage to Hasbro’s rare and infamous Pimp Daddy Destro from the late 90’s. From my understanding, there were only a limited number of the original figure made, and even fewer actually got into packages. And speaking of which… just look at that new packaging! We get all new highly stylized character art, a crazy color scheme, and some gorgeous gold foil lettering for what is the fifteenth numbered figure in the series! Most of you probably know that I don’t keep the packaging for most of my figures, but I do believe I’ll make an exception with this one. It just looks great! So let’s carefully open this up and check out the goods!

Basically this is a repaint of the regular Destro we got, with some extras to sweeten the deal. And what a repaint it is! His classic black suit has been replaced with a maroon one, with leopard patches around the waist, on the upper legs. and lining that high collar. He’s got some gray in the belt and knee pads, and his boots are now fitted with golden toes! His arm bracers are now bright red, as is his holster and thigh rig, and the rockets on his right bracer are pure gold! As if his repainted suit wasn’t audacious enough, Destro now comes with a bright red cape partially covered in a leopard skin, complete with the paws resting on his shoulders and a gold chain holding it across his chest. This is definitely not Covert Ops Destro! Hell, I’d like to imagine that he bagged that leopard himself and drove it home strapped to the canopy of a HISS tank. I also have to say that I love the way the cape snaps under the high collar. It fits very well!

If you’re going to dress like a pimp and you happen to wear a metal mask, why not complete the look by going gold, right? Well, that’s exactly what Destro did and the result is quite stunning. Part of me wishes they had gone all in and vac-metaled the shit out that helmet, but what we got still looks great, and it’ll likely last a lot longer. Indeed, the gold paint has a nice sheen to it and it brings out all the details in the facial sculpt quite nicely. All he’s missing is a wide-brimmed hat and some shades!

Well, there’s no hat, but he does come with a pair of sunglasses! Are the shades a bit too much? I think they are. They kinda cross the line. The outfit mingles with parody, but I think the glasses embrace it. I don’t know that I’m going to use them much.

I’ve already covered the articulation the when I looked at the original Destro release, so I won’t run through it again here. Suffice it to say, Destro’s got all the points we come to expect from Hasbro’s 6-inch lines, plus a few extra surprises. The shoulders on that cape do inhibit his range of motion in the upper arms a bit, but if you want him to get down and dirty and be more agile in a fight, he can always cast off the cape.

Moving on to accessories, This Destro exchanges the larger gun that came with the first release for a flaming handful of cash. I’m not sure what profit there is in burning money, but it definitely makes for a strong statement. Sure, the flame effect is rubbish and they really should have gone with some translucent orange plastic instead of paint, but it’s still a fun extra to pose him with. What’s the point of it? He’s got so much money, he can afford to burn it, I guess? Or maybe it’s just a gangsta thing the kids are doing these days.

So yeah, Pimp Destro is down to one weapon and that’s the small pistol. It’s the same sculpt as last time, and since it was already blinged out in gold, Hasbro didn’t have to repaint it to match the new outfit. He has a trigger finger on both hands, so he can brandish this pistol left or right, and it also fits nicely into his holster.

The final accessory is the same briefcase we saw last time, but it too has been hit by the Midas touch and repainted in gold. It’s got some Cobra emblems sculpted into the sides, and it opens to reveal a sculpted computer on one side and some very unconvincing cash on the other.

If memory serves, this Destro was an Amazon exclusive and either way it’s still available on the site for $25. No, this is figure is not everyone’s cup of tea. And people who are new to GI JOE or casual collectors may be bewildered by the sight of it. But it does represent a cool and unusual variant in the line’s history. I’ll admit that I mostly bought it as a curiosity, but I do find the repaint to be pretty compelling. I think the only thing that detracts from it is the bright red plastic used for the holster. I don’t mind it on the arm bracers, but the holster and thigh rig do look a little cheap in this color. Granted, I do not plan on this figure representing Destro on my shelf, but I do think it’s fun and I’m happy to own it. All the more reason to keep that box, as I’ll likely wind up displaying him in it. And… yeah, since I used a picture of Baroness in this review, I guess I should finally get around to reviewing her next week.