Tag Archives: gi joe

Aug 9 2010

GI JOE: Rolling Operations Command Center (ROCC) by Hasbro

Back in the dog days of Sigma Six, the traditional 3 3/4 GI JOE figures and vehicles were confined to Hasbro’s new Direct To Consumer line, which meant the only way you could buy them was on online or at Toys R Us. This DTC line featured a sparse series of figures, most of which were kitbashed (ie. cobbled together from the parts of various other figures). It produced very few figures that I found worthwhile, and even fewer toys. Its something of a contradiction then that this was also the time that we got one of the coolest and biggest new JOE vehicles to come down the line in a long while.

I love the box that this thing came in. Its very reminiscent of the vintage Joe packaging. No frills, no fancy diagonal corners, just a big brick of a box. The front of the box has some artwork of the vehicle in action and a cutout window to show off the Long Range figure, which I could not find for this article. No big loss, he was a mediocre figure at best. The toy inside is pretty much already assembled and it will roll back into the box by taking just a few bits off of the top.


Of course, the idea of a rolling command center is not new to GI JOE. There was the Mobile Command Center, the more recent PITT and to some extent, I suppose even The Defiant could count. Its not a coincidence either, but rather a clever attempt by Hasbro to address the idea that playsets don’t sell well, but vehicles do. Hence, the vehicle-playset.

In vehicle mode, the ROCC is pretty straightforward. I let Matt Trakker drive it, because its elaborate conversion reminds me of a MASK vehicle. The front cab windshield folds down to accomodate a driver and four passengers. The goofy turret system on the back of the vehicle is the one real sticking point for me. Through an overly convaluted hinged arm system, the turret pod, which holds one figure, can be maneuvered to sit in the hole in either the front or back of the vehicle. It seems like an awful lot of needless maneuvering just to slide the thing front and back and if there was a gunner in there while it was shifting, I’m pretty sure he’d be puking his guts out while being bounced around inside the turret. The one thing this complex arm system does allow for is the pod to orientate itself into a useful firing position on the back of the ROCC’s base mode, so I guess there’s a reason for it. The curious thing about the ROCC is the number of sockets that look like they were intended to plug guns or equipment into, but nothing came with the set to make use of these holes.


Once converted to command base, this toy’s fun really takes off. The back splits open revealing the command area, a vehicle maintenance area, complete with ramps and a robotic arm, and a launching gantry for a small one-person stealth fighter. The vehicle area is only large enough to fit the smallest of Joe vehicles, but chances are you have something in your collection that will fit in there. The ATV or RAM Cycle both fit fine. The command area seats four figures, although only one really has access to any controls, so I’m not sure what the other three are supposed to be doing.


The stealth jet is a pretty simple little toy, and somewhat reminsicent of the Cobra Firebat that came with the old Terrordrome. The cockpit opens to seat one figure, and that’s pretty much all this little jet does. Again, besides the socket that hooks the jet to the gantry, there are a couple more conspicous sockets under it that look like they were intended for something else.


With the command base set up, the cab portion of the truck can deploy to create a little scout vehicle, which is quite reminiscent of one of the old 70’s GI JOE Adventure Team toys. This little vehicle includes a missile launcher, that holds a formidable eight firing missiles (or seven if you’re like me and just shot one behind the couch).

As a playset, this thing is nowhere as big or complex as the Mobile Command Center or the PITT, but then again, it doesn’t look like a Jawa Sandcrawler either. On the contrary, its truck mode looks great and its playset mode offers more than a few cool features. I stumbled upon this thing at a TRU somewhere around 2005 and was amazed at its reasonable $29.99 price tag, so it came home with me. Its pretty cool for what it is, and while its plenty large, its still a good compromise if you want a mobile base for your JOES, but don’t want to store the gargantuan MCC or PITT.

Aug 4 2010

GI JOE Rise of Cobra: Cobra Gunship by Hasbro

I’ve wanted this thing since the ROC toys first hit the shelves, but I’ve held off buying it on principle because of the high price. $24.99 for a Bravo class vehicle was way too steep when we were getting roughly comparably sized toys in the 25th Anni. line for around $15-20. I did cave and pick up the Cobra Steel Crusher, but that seemed like a better toy. Anyway, the toy aisles of the Walmart here are empty and awaiting transition, but at least some of the old stuff, like this Gunship, is left at decent clearance prices.

By the way, what the hell is Walmart thinking with their pricing strategy on their Rise of Cobra figures? For the longest time, they were selling them at $5 a piece. A few weeks ago, they were at an unprecidented $9.98 each. They didn’t even sell them for that much when they first came out! I even scanned one to see if it was a label mistake. Now, they’re on clearance for $7.00 a piece. I can’t figure out what the thought process is behind that. What’s even sadder is the Walmart here never put out more than a few cases of figures beyond the initial wave assortments. Anyway, I digress… back to the Gunship.

The packaging for this line is pretty cool. Its a simple box with some angular corners to make it stand out. There’s a window on the front to show off the included Firefly figure, along with an illustration of the toy in action. The back panel shows off an actual photo with some of the play features detailed. The box is actually significantly smaller than the actual toy, as the tail boom has to be locked on into place. Pretty much everything else comes already assembled. You just need to load up the bombs and pop in the missiles. There are also stickers to apply, which I love, and if you’d rather leave the Gunship more movie accurate, you could leave the Cobra emblems off.

I think the most obvious thing about this toy’s design is the fact that it was originally intended to be helicopter, because it is for all intense and purposes a helicopter without rotor blades. Is this what the vehicle looked like in the film? I can’t really remember, and I’m not curious enough to subject myself to watching it again just to see. What I’m getting at is either this toy started life as a helicopter, or the original design was intended to look like the Gunship was converted from a helicopter. Either way it explains why there’s an conspicuous bump on the top where a rotor blade assembly was originally intended to be placed.

With that curious design element aside, the toy is pretty cool, although it doesn’t do a whole hell of a lot. Weapons include a rotating chin gun, firing side mounted missiles, and there’s a hatch in the top where you can load up three small bombs and drop them out the back, just like Hasbro’s Tie Bomber from the Star Wars line. There are three short landing struts that fold down, two removable engine access panels and the main body opens up with a drop down hatch. For some reason, I love the fact that the cockpit opens up to the side and not straight up and down. Don’t ask me why. The cockpit holds one figure and the rear compartment has seats for two. There are also several handle grips on the bottom so figures can hang on while its in flight… another detail which supports the used to be a helicopter theory.

I think this toy’s greatest disappointment is its size. It really needed to be a little bigger to make the passenger compartment work. As it is, you can barely get one figure in there comfortably, let alone the two it seems to be designed to hold. If both sides had opening hatches, that might have helped too. It would have also been nice if the craft sat higher on the landing gear, as they hardly do anything to elevate it up when its grounded.


The Firefly figure is ok, but at the same time he’s nothing special. I also think he was a strange choice to be bundled with this vehicle. Firefly was a demolitions expert, so when did he change career paths to become a pilot? Nonetheless, he comes with a removable flight helmet and a flight vest with hoses that can plug into his helmet as well as two holes in the cockpit control panels. If you take off all his flight gear, he makes for a serviceable Firefly figure, but his chest area is pretty bland. He also doesn’t come with a stand or any weapons, despite having a molded pistol holster on his leg. He’s also a bit of a tight fit in the cockpit with his helmet and gear on. He’s not going to satisfy anyone looking for a definitive Firefly figure from this line. I think this vehicle would have been better served with a generic Cobra pilot figure instead. Personally, I like using the 25th Anni. AVAC figure.

I usually save the discussion of price and value for last, but in this case I lead in with it, so let me just reiterate that this is in no way what I would consider to be a $25 toy. Compare it to Hasbro’s Star Wars vehicles at the same price, and in those cases, Hasbro is carrying the cost of an expensive licensing fee, whereas they own the GI JOE brand themselves. Needless to say, despite being a nifty little vehicle, at full retail I would rate this toy pretty low. I got mine today at half off, and I’m pretty happy with it at that price. I probably would have picked it up a long time ago had it been $20. Its not like the extra five bucks was going to break me, but at some point I just feel I need to take a stand on the rising cost of toys.

Jul 28 2010

GI JOE Rise of Cobra: Sting Raider (TRU Exclusive) by Hasbro

During the tail end of the 25th Anniversary Collection, Hasbro re-released the classic Cobra Water Moccasin and renamed it the Sting Raider. The production and distribution on this toy were low and terrible and so if you managed to get one without getting raped on Ebay, you were very, very lucky. It was a real shame to bring back such a great old toy only to have it be so hard to get. As a consolation prize, Hasbro has brought it back once again, this time as a TRU Exclusive and with a completely new (ie. somewhat funky) paint job. Still, beggers can’t be choosers, so I grabbed this baby up as soon as I saw it.

I have no idea if this toy is supposed to be part of the Rise of Cobra or the Pursuit of Cobra. It says both on the box, but given the prominance of the RoC moniker and the style of the package, I’ll consider this one of those “expanded universe” type toys from the RoC movie line. Not that it matters either way. The box is amazingly small. In fact, it looks too small, like its some kind of optical illusion or something. Nonetheless, the mostly assembled boat is in there, along with two figures, Copperhead and Swamp Viper, and some accessories. All you need to do is attach the rear rudders, the gun on the turret, and apply the stickers. Yes! Stickers!! I love applying stickers!


The boat itself is a pretty simple toy, but its every bit as awesome as I remember it. Actually, I never owned this one as a kid, but every now and then my friend and I would swap a GI JOE vehicle or two for a week and I remember having a blast playing with this one for a short while. There’s not a whole lot of moving parts or features on it, but its a great looking little attack boat. The gun turret does turn and the guns elevate, the cockpit lifts off to get Copperhead inside, the rudders turn, the engine prop spins with the help of a thumb wheel, and there’s a detachable “torpedo” on the bottom. There are also two removable compartments that allow you to stow extra weapons and gear.

But with the good, it seems you have to take the bad. Or at least, the not so good. In the case of this Sting Raider, for most people that’s going to be the paint job. Its an odd green and red camo motif, which makes no sense from a tactical standpoint, but I have to admit makes for a rather striking looking craft. Its not my first choice for colors, and it may make fans still prefer paying out the ass on Ebay for the 25th Anni. release, but in this case, I’ll take it. There have certainly been some far more unfortunate color schemes in the world of JOE (*cough* Tiger Force *cough*).

The figures are a bit of a mixed bag. Copperhead is definitely cool, but not as cool as the version that came with the illusive 25th Anniversary toy. Its the same basic mold, but different paint apps. He has some curiously tight shoulder joints, but apart from that he’s a great figure. The Swamp Viper seems to be a cross between a HISS driver and Wild Weasel. I still dig him, despite his impossibly shaped helmet. Its also cool to note that both figures come with personalized display stands, rifles and combat knives that fit into the their sculpted sheathes.

This set retails at $19.99, which is a pretty great deal for what would be a considered a Bravo Class vehicle and two figures. Its even better when you consider how much the 25th Anni. Sting Raider would set you back. Yeah, you have to stomach a wild paint job, but honestly its grown on me to the point where I’m no longer tempted to go through the trouble of taking it apart and repainting it. Of course, it is a TRU exclusive, so finding it may be tough for some people, especially with how few TRU stores are left these days. If you can find it, I definitely recommend it.

Jul 25 2010

GI JOE Rise of Cobra: 1:6 Scale Baroness (SDCC Exclusive) by Hasbro

It’s time for another 2009 SDCC flashback. This time, I’m going back to last year to take a look at one of Hasbro’s GI JOE offerings, the 12″ figure of everyone’s favorite Cobra femme fatale, The Baroness. Or at least the character that passed for her in the Rise of Cobra movie. Hasbro had quite a few SDCC exclusives that backfired last year (meaning nobody seemed to want them), and Baroness was one of that unfortunate group. You could pick up this figure on their website months and months after the show, and there are still tons of them up on Ebay at any given time. I’m guessing her lack of popularity was because of her ties with the largely unpopular movie, but whatever the case… in the end what we have here is a pretty mediocre figure with some exceptionally nice packaging.

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Baroness comes in a black and white box with cutouts to show off the red Cobra emblem on the box inside that box. Her name is printed on the front and sides, flanked by the two pistols she used in the movie. There’s a small blurb about her on the back, which fortunately doesn’t chronicle any of that horrible crap about her being Cobra Commander’s brother or Duke’s fiance, so I can still pretend it never happened and still try to enjoy this figure. The top flaps open and you can slide out the inside box, which is glossy black and textured to look like leather or snakeskin and has a vague coffin motif because the corners are diagonal. Its a great looking box, with the gold Cobra emblem contrasting against the dark textured surface. The front flap is secured with velco.

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Inside, the figure is nested in a molded red foam tray. Opposite the figure is an awesome 1940’s style Cobra propaganda poster with The Baroness showing off her, erm… hardware seductively. For me, this insert makes the whole thing worthwhile. It literally elevates the entire set, and it’s kind of a shame that it was wasted on any piece of merchandise that’s tied to this movie.

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Normally, I talk price and value at the end, but I think it’s probably important to mention now that this figure retailed for under $30. These days when people think about 1:6 scale figures expectations are through the roof as well as the prices. So, now when I say this figure isn’t all that bad, keep that price point in mind. Luckily, The Baroness was one character who’s appearance didn’t change all that much for the movie, so despite the fact that the face is (allegedly) a likeness of actress Sienna Miller, this can still kind of pass for a classic style Baroness. Sort of. The outfit is pretty simple. She’s wearing a black bodysuit, which is designed to look like both fabric leggings and a leather corset. On top of that she has a trenchcoat, short in the front and long in the back and belted around her waist, with velcro on the front and the sleeves. The coat has some nice texturing around the collar and sleeves and is slit at various points along the bottom so that it doesn’t interfere with her leg poses. The outfit is rounded out by a pair of glossy black heels.

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The portrait is more like a caricature of the actress. It’s certainly not great. It kind of looks like she got out of hand with the botox. But again, given the price range here and that Hasbro’s 1:6 Scale figures have never been terribly accurate representations of real people, it’s acceptable. Hasbro went with sculpted hair, which looks OK, and thankfully doesn’t inhibit the head movement, but it does float unnaturally above the shoulders. The paint apps on the face are good, and the glasses are removable. And yes, they look rather more like safety goggles than fashionable eyewear.

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Baroness features a control box that’s attached to her belt. It can’t be removed, and it’s strategically placed to conceal the peg that holds the belt closed. I’m guessing this is the device she used to detonate the nano-whatever in Paris.

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She also features her chromed pair of laser pistols, or whatever they were. These can be stored in holsters on her back and each holster has a retaining strap to keep them in place. These are pretty cool sculpts and the chrome finish looks good. Her hands aren’t as suited to holding them as tightly as I would like, but I was able to make it work.

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Baroness also comes with a rather nice assault rifle with a shoulder strap and a scope.

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I’m not going to tell you this is a great figure, but it’s not the worst thing I’ve ever spent thirty bucks on. As a fan of Dragon’s Danger Girl figures, The Baroness here sort of fits into that genre only with a lot fewer accessories. As a one-off figure for a questionable movie and a Con Exclusive, it is at the very least a curiosity. That’s not exactly a ringing endorsement, but it’s all I’ve got. I don’t regret buying it, but I’m sure not going to recommend it.

May 18 2010

GI JOE VS COBRA: TRU Exclusive Cobra Rattler

The original Cobra Rattler was one of my all time favorite vehicles as a kid. Of course, as a kid, I didn’t really know anything about the equally cool real world A-10 Warthog on which it was based. All I knew was the Rattler was prominantly featured in the GI JOE cartoon, it could take off and land vertically, carry two figures, and was great for the Cobra head hanchos to fight over while trying to escape capture my incoming Joe forces. My original Rattler is long since gone, and considering how many sandbox crash landings it made during its lifetime, there probably wouldn’t have been much left of it anyway. I really wanted to pick up the more faithful Target exclusive reissue from a few years back, but never found it. Looks like I’ll have to settle for this consolation prize that I picked up for five bucks at a garage sale last weekend.

This repaint of the original Rattler was released as a Toys R Us exclusive back in 2002. Besides the new deco, the gunner station no longer came with an enclosed canopy and the toy was retro fitted with the gimmicky soundbox that came with many of the GI JOE VS COBRA toys of the time. This one that I found still has the original box and instructions and incredibly enough all the parts. The box is a tad worn, and there are no inserts, but all in all, not bad. I really love the box art and the back panel shows the toy itself with all of its features. This one is missing the Wild Weasel figure, so I grabbed a couple of contemporary Cobras to serve as stand ins.

There’s a few things that need to be put together when you dump this thing out of the box. I really miss the good old days when you had to put toys together. Actually, mine came with a lot of stuff already done. I just needed to attach the wings, soundbox, landing gear and bombs and missiles.

I actually really like the new paint deco for this toy. The copper and black with red trim really pop. Don’t get me wrong, I prefer the traditional Cobra blue of the original toy, but as far as re-decos go, this one isn’t too bad. You could almost use it for Serpentor’s private Rattler, since the gold sort of matches his Air Chariot. The stickers on mine were already applied and they all look nice and fresh.

What I absolutely hate is the use of the neon red plastic used for the gunner station ring and the bombs and missiles. Not only does it look awful, but the plastic used on the missiles and bombs is so soft that they don’t want to stay plugged into their sockets. The result is you’ll get a lot of inadvertantly dropped bombs if you try to woosh this thing around the room. I’m also not thrilled about the lack of the canopy on the gunners station.

One nice touch is the inclusion of two battle damaged panels that can be snapped in to replace the normal ones.

I’ve never been a fan of the soundboxes used on this era of Joe toys, but the one on this Rattler isn’t too obtrusive. Its mounted onto the piece that holds the wings to the fusilsage and there’s a corded piece that plugs in under one of the engines and holds a nice big minigun. The whole rig stays together very well. The soundbox on mine isn’t working, and I’m just not motivated enough to open it up and replace the batteries.

The current Joe figures will fit into both seats of this Rattler, but its a pretty tight fit. So, overall this piece is a pretty mixed bag. The redeco is nice and the toy itself retains most of what was cool about the original mold. I could have done without the soundbox,but its tucked neatly under the jet, so it isn’t as big a deal as some of the other vintage molds that were retrofitted with this gimmick during the time. Overall, the plastic used for the weapons payload is the only really awful thing about this toy. I am by no means a customizer, but in this case, I plan on getting some black and silver paint to do over the obnoxious neon parts. It’ll go a long way to making this one sweet ride.

Mar 16 2010

GI JOE: GI Joe Vs Cobra HISS Type IV Tank by Hasbro

I usually love talking about my toys, but its going to take me an extra couple of drinks, just to get through this entry. Ok, so I don’t remember a lot about the GI JOE Vs Cobra line. I was on my own little break from collecting Joes (and proabably all toys) at the time, and while I did go back and get some of these figures and vehicles, they all tend to blur together in my head with SpyTroops and whatever else was out at the time. I wound up selling off most of the shit from that era when the 25th Anniversary stuff came out and I realized that most Joes from this era were garbage compared to the awesome new stuff and neither I nor my closets have any real regrets about doing it. Anywho, among the things I kept were a pair of these god awful tanks known as the HISS Type IV’s. I think the main reason I kept these was because I couldn’t get enough money for them to make up for the trouble of packing and shipping them.

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Now, don’t get me wrong. The fact that the Hiss IV is decorated to look like a fucking snake is not really the reason that I hate these things. That stuff doesn’t bother me because its very much in line with the classic cartoon and comics. Cobra had cargo planes with snake heads, snake robots, and, Jesus, if Cobra can have a friggin zombie emperor that wears a snake suit, then putting a little snake motif on their tanks isn’t going to make me too upset. Its basically just like nose art taken to the extreme.

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Besides, the overall sculpt on these toys is pretty nice. The triangular treads are very much in keeping with the classic HISS design. The snakeskin texturing and paint apps are really well executed. And hey, gotta love those giant fangs on the front. Or maybe not. I’ll also say that having an enclosed, armored cockpit as opposed to having the driver sitting in plain view under a glass canopy is probably a much better idea from a tactical standpoint. There’s also a few cool armaments, like a rocket launcher hanging off the side under the canopy and two firing missiles on each side of the front grill. But beyond that most everything else about this vehicle is pure balls. So let’s look at some of the stuff about this toy that really pisses me off.

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First off, what is the deal with the cockpit? It extends forward and then push a button and it flips up into the air on a set of extended stilts. What possible function does this serve? Its like they just put it in there because they could. Add to that the pointless fact that the canopy will not open unless its in this position. How the fuck is the driver supposed to get in and out? Sure, maybe on some scaffolding back at base. But how the hell does he get in and out in the field? Is this some kind of way Cobra instills bravery into their drivers? “Don’t sssssssscrew up, buddy, because you ain’t getting out until you get back to HQ!” Why would you design something like this? Its clearly the work of an insane person.

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Secondly, the Type IV design replaces the turret from the original HISS with a completely exposed gun seat. Yeah, it wasn’t bad enough that the poor gunner’s head was sticking up out of the top of the tank, Cobra’s engineers had to make it even more dangerous to be a HISS gunner. Now, you have virtually no cover at all. Unless GI Joe is aiming directly at the flimsy iron plating in front of the gun, he’s probably going to hit you. You’re just a sitting duck up there. But then at least if the thing is about to explode, you can get away fast. The guy trapped in the cockpit will be a goner for sure.

Next up, I hate the big ugly sockets all over this thing. If memory serves, these were part of the sound chip gimmick that made different sounds depending on what weapon you plugged into it. Its ugly and stupid. Also, mine doesn’t work anymore and I’m too lazy to put new batteries in it. One other feature of the Type IV HISS is the fact that the back opens up. This is sort of cool, as you can toss gear in there or prisoners or whatever, but in the end, this compartment just reminds me of the little space on the back of a Big Wheel where you could pack your snack if you were going out for a long ride. It was a potentially good idea, which ultimately saw fruition in the DTC HISS, but here its just not executed very well.

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The HISS Type IV came bundled with a Neo Viper figure. As I recall it was a pretty cool figure, but I sure don’t have it anymore, which is why I’m using Major Bludd to show this thing off. I should also mention the packaging, which had no window to cover the toy and just left it hanging out there to collect dust on the shelf and have kids come along and peel off the stickers and rub boogers on it. I’ve never seen anything like it before or since.

This design was also repainted and recycled as part of the Valor Vs Venom line, where it got a pretty cool black and blue paint deco, but also a much bigger and dumber looking weapon mounted on the top. The new design made it look a bit more like a traditional Cobra vehicle, but this repaint was notoriously difficult to find as it came in on tail end of the series. I don’t mind owning this thing, or even two of them for that matter, mainly because they don’t  take up too much room and its cool to have a collected evolution of the HISS to display, even if that includes the lamer designs like this one. The real question is whether the new HISS will actually be worse than this one or not. I doubt it could be worse, but I did notice it has the same kind of elevating cockpit gimmick, so its good to know that Hasbro hasn’t learned from their mistakes.

Mar 15 2010

GI Joe: DTC HISS Tank by Hasbro

As I’m sure a lot of you know, Hasbro showed off Cobra’s new HISS tank at this year’s Toy Fair. I remember that day well because in the very instant I first saw it, I both began to weep like a baby and threw up in my mouth a little bit. Then I was just overcome with guilt by the realization that I would probably still buy it anyway. Yeah, not a big fan. But, it gave me pause to rummage through my totes and dig out the last significant HISS redesign released by Hasbro.

Its somewhat fitting to follow a Sigma Six post with this HISS toy since it was part of Hasbro’s Direct To Consumer line after the 3 3/4″ Joes had disappeared from the toy aisles and Sigma Six reigned supreme. While the DTC figures were mostly shameless kitbashes of older figures, we actually got a couple of pretty good vehicles in this short lived line, and this HISS tank was damn sure one of them.

The coolest thing about the DTC HISS tank is that it wasn’t a complete redesign and it didn’t try to make itself look like a giant fucking snake. Its design takes the original tried-and-true HISS tank and makes some sensible modifications. The result is an all around better designed vehicle, with more playability, and dammit, it just looks awesome. What’s also cool is that this new HISS looks perfectly fine sitting next to the original. Because they work well together, I just like to refer to this one as my Special Weapons HISS or Heavy Assault HISS.

Instead of being all black, this HISS has a substantial amount of coppery trim. The missile launchers, the tread plates and the trim around the canopy are all matte copper colored and all of these pieces have some nice weathering to give the toy some character. Many of the stickers are reminiscent of the old HISS tank. One thing worth noting, the huge vacant surface under the canopy on the front looks like its screaming for detail, like it was supposed to get a sticker, but Hasbro forgot. I guess that’s fitting since for some reason I still haven’t put the stickers on my older HISS tank either.

While the old HISS design was content with just two laser cannons on the top, this model has a whopping eight firing missiles. Four of these take the place of the old HISS’ dorsal guns and can be rotated 360 degrees as well as elevated up for surface to air fire. The dorsal launchers can also be configured in two different ways, either with the gunner in front of the launchers or behind them like the old HISS guns. The other four missiles are “chasers” positioned broadside on each side of the canopy. Lastly, there’s two pivoting machine guns situated just under the nose. Yep, this thing is loaded for bear.

Probably the biggest and most practical change to this HISS design is the ability to fit troops into the back. The side panels open, or can be removed entirely, to allow access to the interior. There are benches along each side for troops to sit. Granted, you can’t fit a lot of them back here, and the shaft from the dorsal gun gets in the way, but its a really cool feature. It would have been nice if the tailgate dropped, but alas it does not.

The DTC HISS came with a figure, but it was a real piece of shit, and I traded him away or lost him, or did something with him a long time ago, so I can’t show him to you. He was basically just a red repaint of Night Creeper if that means anything to you. Why the fuck Hasbro decided to pack a ninja in with this vehicle is beyond me. Either way, he quickly got the boot in favor of a 25th Anniversary HISS driver. Which reminds me, while the pegs on this thing do not fit the current figures, everything else about this toy is modern era friendly, so you can use this tank with your 25th Anni. figures or even your ROC figures.


I have no idea how common this thing is these days or how much it goes for. I do remember that there was a time when I could have ordered all that I wanted for $20 each, but at the time I was taking a stand against army building, so I was content with the one. Besides online, Toys R Us continued to carry the DTC toys and figures during the dark times of Sigma Six, so it was possible to walk into a toy store and buy one of these, so long as it was a TRU.

If you already have one of these, then you know how friggin awesome it is. If you don’t, go find one. While the original HISS will always have a special place in my heart, this one is the only model to come after it that is worthy of the name.

Next time, we’ll look at a really shitty HISS tank design.

Oh, you know which one I’m talking about….

Mar 14 2010

GI Joe: Sigma Six Zartan by Hasbro

Its been a slow week for new acquisitions, although I’m expecting all sorts of goodies in the mail soon. In the meantime, I went through some totes this weekend and I found some GI Joe stuff I wanted to post about, but then I realized it was going to take way too long to find all the shit that goes with the vehicles and get some figures together for the photos and I was just way too tired and half-drunk to do all that today. So, in keeping the GI Joe theme alive, I just grabbed one of my favorite Sigma Six figures instead.

Now, I know most people hated this line. I wasn’t too pleased with it when it was first introduced either, but it grew on me after a while. Granted, I didn’t start collecting them until they were being clearanced out, but before I was done, I did get quite a few of them. Whether or not you like their aesthetics is one thing, but its hard to deny that they are amazing toys. They’re beautifully made, have great articulation, and loads of accessories. To put it bluntly: They’re undeniably fun action figures.

I seriously think most of the hatred toward this line came from the fact that Hasbro was replacing the 3 3/4″ Joes with these. Sure, in hindsight we had nothing to worry about because the Joes we all know and love came back in a big way, plus that wacky “Direct To Consumer” line kept things going in a matter of speaking. But if it weren’t for all the anger and rage about our little Joes disappearing, I think Sigma Six might have been a bit better received.

But, enough about that…

I love Zartan. He’s always been one of my favorite Joe characters ever since he first appeared in the second mini-series, and coincidently he’s my favorite of all the Sigma Six figures. He retained a surprising amount of his original character design in the translation from RAH to S6 and in doing so, faired a lot better than some ofther characters.


Yeah, that sculpt is gorgeous. Sure’s he’s all angular and anime-ized, but there’s no denying that’s Zartan. The face is awesome, cleft jaw, hooked nose, and right down to the eye tattoos and his burgandy hood, which I always used to think was hair… huh, go figure. The armor is cool, although I wish they had toned down those huge wrist bracers a bit. Zartan’s shoulder armor is hinged and easily removable, his belt is also removable and he’s got two little elastic straps on his hip holding ammunition pouches. Zartan also has a number of sockets sculpted into him, which the Sigma Six figures used to clip on accessories and weapons and what-not. Zartan has these sockets on his bracers, his thighs and three on his back. A big part of the fun with these figures is mixing and matching weapons and accessories between the figures.

Articulation on these figures was the absolute shiz-nit. In a word… balljoints. Balljoints, balljoints, balljoints! Ok, his ankles are only hinged, but apart from that this figure is up for some serious action poses.

I really wish I stil had the packaging for this guy, or at least a shot of him in the packaging, because if you aren’t familiar with it, it was an amazing thing. Besides looking cool, the top and bottom halves of the package were plastic and could be fashioned into an equipment locker to hold the ridiculous amount of accessories he comes with. They also had a blinking LED, which invariably grabbed kids attentions as if to say, “Holy shit, Mom, there’s a bomb in there!” The other thing about these figures’ packaging was you had to shred it to pieces to get everything out. When you were finally done you were left with a huge mess of plastic and crap… and this…

Holy shit that’s a lot of stuff! Besides the aforementioned equipment locker, Zartan comes with a custom made double barrel rifle with two removable clips, a crossbow that would make Hordak jealous, a quiver with two crossbow bolts (one barbed and one explosive) and some kind of weird barbed grapple thingy… ah, I don’t know what the hell it is.

The rifle is really cool because it looks like something The Road Warrior would carry, as its all duck taped together, exactly like a rifle would be if it were fashioned by some evil bastard who lives in a swamp. Oh, and I wasn’t kidding about the crossbow either, I really think he stole this thing from Hordak.


The quiver is a really cool piece as it slips over Zartan’s shoulder with an elastic strap. Its nicely sculpted to look like he made it out of sticks and shit. The bolts slip into holes in the top of it and stay in place pretty well.


And that’s S6 Zartan in all his awesome glory. Its cool to look back on these figures without all the angst of thinking our 3 3/4″ Joes are gone for good. Besides, as it turned out, Sigma Six may have come along at just the right time to give the regular line of Joes a strategic hiatus. It gave Hasbro the chance to go back to the drawing board, because when the Joes did return to mainstream retail in their 3 3/4″ form they came back with the awesome 25th Anniversary line. Few people were probably sorry to see Sigma Six go, but I have to admit the line produced some really cool figures and an interesting little hiccup in the history of the GI Joe brand.

And rest assured, you haven’t seen the last of my Sigma Six figures… Mwahahahahaha!