I woke up today, pondered some content for Transformers Thursday, and it just felt like a cement mixer kind of a day. I’m sure you know what I mean. That doesn’t leave me too many options… Mixmaster would be too easy and my G1 Targetmaster Quickmix is long gone, probably still at the bottom of a backyard sandbox in Northern New Jersey. Thankfully there is the more recent version of Quickmix to choose from. He was a Voyager Class released in the Cybertron line and he comes with a little Minicon called Stripmine. Let’s mix it up!

Like his G1 namesake, Quickmix is an Autobot, but that’s where the similarities dry up. Hasbro wasn’t going for a direct homage on this guy so the color scheme isn’t the red and white-grey that one might expect. Instead we get a lot of bright orange, which I will concede is often times the color of construction vehicles. Actually, now that I think of it, they’re usually yellow. Maybe Hasbro was going for an homage to that elusive set of orange G2 Constructicons. Or maybe Quickmix is just orange because he’s orange and I should shut the hell up about it.

Quickmix’s vehicle mode is a little rough around the edges. You can see a lot of hinges and gears and other transforming robot tomfoolery. But construction vehicles aren’t supposed to be pretty, so what’s here largely works for me. A good part of the back of the truck is made up of one of Quickmix’s arms and I have to say it’s pretty cool the way it’s all contorted like that to form the feeding chute for the mixing materials. On the downside, the arm doesn’t lock down very well so it’s not uncommon for the back of the mixer chute to unfold into a mess. There is undoubtedly a lot of detail to this vehicle’s sculpt and I really dig the jagged detailing on the mixing drum itself. The truck rolls along on six wheels and has a bizarre prow jutting out of the front. I have no idea what that’s supposed to be for, but then I know precious little about cement mixers.

While Cybertron figures were all about Cyberkeys, for some reason Quickmix came paired with a Minicon named Stripmine. You’ll hear no complaints from me because I love Minicons and Stripmine is definitely one of the better ones. His alt mode is a blue and yellow laser cannon that rolls on tank treads. Based on his name, I’m going to assume he’s a mining laser. He’s a very simple little guy, but he transforms into a clean robot mode that uses his laser cannon as an arm. Quickmix has Minicon ports on the top of his driving cabin and another on his rear bumper so Stripmine can attach to him and power him up. Yes, he still has a Cyberkey gimmick, but it’s only designed for use when he’s in robot mode, so let’s get him transformed.

One of the things that always cheeses me off is when Transformers have some huge part of their vehicular anatomy hanging off one of their arms. This is very often the case with crane trucks, but it should only take one look at Quickmix’s robot mode to see where I’m going with this. His right arm consists of his mixing drum, which is probably very useful for hitting other robots, but not so much so when you need to pick something up. He also has some pretty bulky truck kibble for knees. In the plus column, Quickmix features one good arm with a pair of guns on it, that look pretty cool. I do like the way he wears his wheels on his back, and you certainly can’t deny that this mold is absolutely packed with sculpted detail. Oh yeah, Quickmix has a pair of Minicon ports for nipples. Nipples are of course useless on a robot and to keep that line of thought going, these nipples are pretty useless as Minicon ports as well.

I’m not sure what’s up with Quickmix’s head, but it really strikes me as some kind of misguided Blaster homage. He’s got the same silver band running over his head that looks a bit like a flipped up visor on a helmet. He’s also got a microphone and earpiece, which granted wasn’t part of Blaster’s head sculpt, but Blaster was a communications officer, so you can see where I’m going with that. On the other hand, I can’t think of any good reason why Hasbro would make a cement truck an homage to Blaster, so I’m probably reading way too much into this.

In the Cybertron fiction that I know very little about, Quickmix was a native of the Giant Planet and hung out with Metroplex. As a result, he shares the same kind of growing gimmick as Plexy did. The only difference here is that Metroplex’s growing gimmick was pretty cool and Quickmix’s is garbage. You just pull down on his legs or push down his shoulders and it grows him all of about an eighth of an inch. If it wasn’t pointed out as a growing gimmick in the instructions I would have just assumed it was part of the transformation. It also doesn’t lock into place, which makes it all the more annoying.

I couldn’t find Quickmix’s Cyberkey anywhere, but that doesn’t matter because his gimmick is easily accessed without it. You just pull apart his mixing drum to reveal a missile launcher. It looks like a pretty powerful weapon, but I’m not sure I would want to go through life with a giant albatross for a right arm only so that I could launch a missile every now and then. For a construction vehicle, Quickmix seems just as dedicated to wrecking shit as he is to helping to build. There’s also a Minicon port on his left arm to give him some extra firepower. I dig that a lot as it’s a nice nod back to the original G1 Targetmaster toy.

In case you haven’t guessed, Quickmix does not impress me. I don’t hate him, but when you consider how many Transformers are vying for what little display space I have; poor Quickmix is never likely to earn himself much shelf time. The vehicle mode isn’t bad at all, but I tend to display my TF’s in robot mode and that’s where Quickmix falls short. His bot mode is just lousy with lazy design and poorly conceived gimmicks. I can certainly appreciate all the effort that went into his detailed sculpt, but in the end it feels wasted on what is a rather forgettable Transformer figure. Yes, Quickmix is bound for the storage tote. Hopefully in a few years when I discover him again he may have a little nostalgia working in his favor.

It’s Transformers Thursday, folks, and today you get two for the price of one! I’m in the process of paring down some of my Transformers collection. I can’t bear to part with many figures, even many of the ones that don’t excite me anymore, so some of these guys are going to be sealed into totes and put away into storage, possibly not to be seen again for quite a while. I decided that I might as well at least feature some of them here before I send them off to storage oblivion, so today we’re going to look at a pair of Decepticons from the Speed Planet… Ransack and Crumplezone. This is a pair that I have very mixed feelings about.

Since I didn’t watch much of the Cybertron cartoon I don’t know a lot about this pair, other than they liked to hang out together and that’s why I’m looking at both of them today. I’ve always pictured them as a kind of Lenny and George double-act, which may be far from the truth, but the idea still makes me chuckle. Or that could be the three Jamesons I’ve had tonight. Let’s start out with Ransack who was a Basic or Scout or whatever the hell they used to call the smaller size assortment back then.

Ransack’s alt mode is a red futuristic motorcycle. Transformer motorcycles are pretty interesting to me because they require extra clever engineering to make them work and they almost always fail to look decent in robot mode. To date I still think the best motorcycle transformer of all time wasn’t a Transformer at all, it was the Go-Bot Renegade Leader Cy-Kill, but I digress. [Note to self: Pick up a Cy-Kill figure someday. He was really cool!] Ransack’s bike mode has just the right amount of Tron Lightcycle vibe to make me appreciate what Hasbro was going for here. This super-sonic crotch-rocket looks sleek and speedy and the mix of opaque red and translucent red plastic, along with the silver and gold paint does make for a striking deco. The wheels are chunky enough so that Ransack can stand upright without toppling over. That’s more than I can say about his robot mode, but I’ll get to that in a minute.

As with most Cybertron figures, Ransack comes with a Cyberkey that unlocks his gimmick. In this case if you plug it into the back just above the seat a pair of what I presume is either a set of guns or thrusters deploy out the back. Ransack is a Decepticon, so I prefer to believe they’re guns for shooting at anyone following him. But even my great imagination can’t save this gimmick from being pretty boring. Oh well, he is just a little guy so maybe I’m expecting too much.

Unfortunately, Ransack only goes downhill from there. When I first got this figure way back when, it literally broke right out of the package. One of his heel spurs snapped off. It’s a piece that doesn’t affect the alt mode at all, but the lack of it makes it impossible for him to stand in his robot mode. As a result, I have to keep the two halves of his rear wheels folded down to stabilize him when they are supposed to be tucked alongside his legs. It’s not a total loss… I like to think of them as hover turbines.

I know I should cut this guy some slack because he’s a pretty small figure and he’s a motorcycle, which isn’t a particularly easy mode to work with. On the other hand, a good piece of his motorcycle bulk detaches to become his gun so as clever as a few things about his transformation are, some of it still feels like a cheat. And it’s not like the end result is all that great to look at. A lot of Cybertron figures featured some really cool engineering, and given that context Ransack’s robot mode just feels primitive. Of course, the Cybertron line gave birth to another motorcycle Transformer that makes Ransack here look like a Masterpiece figure, but I’ll get to Lugnutz another day. For now, let’s just move on to Crumplezone.

Now, this is a bitchin alt mode! While I could never get behind Cybertron’s whole idea of differently themed planets, I have no problem taking many of the Speed Planet figures and considering them to be native Cybertonian forms. Crumplezone fits that idea perfectly. He’s a big, mean looking three-wheeler with a jet-style cockpit and two huge engines hanging off his ass. This guy would look great tearing down the streets of Iacon City and blasting away at Autobot fools. The detailing on this vehicle is really nice, and if you aren’t a fan of the two-tone green deco, which admittedly doesn’t feel very Decepticon, you could always go for the Dark Crumplezone repaint, which I believe also featured some remolded parts and extra weapons too.

Crumplezone’s Cyberkey gimmick unleashes his two massive spring-loaded engines and flips them forward to mount on each side of his cockpit and serve as missile launchers. It also deploys his spoilers like wings. I was also surprised to find that the accompanying electronics on mine still worked and the toy unleashes a bitchin symphony of synthesized mayhem when his weapons are deployed. I think this is the first Cybertron figure I’ve played with in ages that still has working batteries in it! Either way, with weapons deployed, Crumplezone is one bad ass looking vehicle.

Crumplezone’s transformation isn’t terribly complex for his size and in robot mode he feels more like a jet Transformer what with his cockpit landing right on his chest. With his giant upper body and diminished legs, he has the same wonky but loveable proportions that would be later adopted by Bulkhead in both Transformers Animated and Transformers Prime. Yes, despite him being a Decepticon, I get a very strong Bulkhead vibe off this guy mixed with just a jot of Beast Machines Tankor. The only thing about this robot design that I don’t like is the fact that his wings just flop around on his forearms.

“But Crumplezone has no weapons,” you say? Fortunately, his Cyberkey gimmick works in robot mode too and you can deploy his missile launchers onto his shoulders, accompanied by the same glorious fanfare of electronic sounds. This configuration reminds me of the Armada Seekers with their shoulder cannon deployed.

And that wraps up today’s Transformers Thursday. Honestly, I could take or leave Ransack even if mine wasn’t broken, but I’ve always considered Crumplezone to be a solid figure and I think he still holds up pretty well. Unfortunately, he takes up a lot of room and he doesn’t really fit with any of the other Transformers that I’m going to be putting out on display right now and so he’s going to get put away with his buddy Ransack. But the nice thing about putting toys into storage is you get to rediscover them again someday.

For the past month I have been eschewing the usual randomness of Transformers Thursday by following some convenient segues. It’s taken me through a trio of nautical based Decepticons and now I’m following up last week’s Femme Bot Decepticon with her Autobot counterpart, Override. Besides being another female Transformer, Override is a lot like Thunderblast in that I really dig her alt mode, but her robot mode leaves a lot to be desired. Let’s take a look…

I followed very little of the Unicron Trilogy official fiction, but as I understand it Override hails from the Speed Planet. It’s certainly appropriate since her alt mode is a very sexy looking futuristic car. While this auto mode has a few blemishes, most notably the obvious top half of the robot head peeking out of the top, I just can’t help but love the slick design. The rounded and angled front fenders are beautifully done and the fins coming off the back look pretty cool too. I also dig the translucent wheels, which hammer home the idea that this is a crazy futuristic alien car. The deco here is also pretty tight. The red and white look great together and the silver and black compliment the color pallet nicely. I probably could have done without the orange, but there’s not a lot of it and it blends fairly well with the red.

Naturally, as a Cybertron figure Override comes with her own CyberKey and accompanying gimmick. In this case you plug the key into her backside and it unlocks a pair of spring-loaded guns that position themselves on either side of her cockpit. It’s kind of a subtle gimmick, and I usually leave the guns deployed, but I’m also a sucker for cars with spring-loaded guns, so this gimmick gets a big thumbs up.

Ugh! Override uses also uses a spring-loaded gimmick as part of her transformation. It’s an odd thing to see because I don’t recall a whole lot of Cybertron figures doing this. It’s also generally a bad idea, because while it may be cool to see your figure spring part of the way into the robot mode, springs fail over time and even though mine still seems rather strong, it will pop when handling the toy in car mode from time to time. Plus, when you look at Override’s robot mode, it’s hard not to think that the spring gimmick engineering is responsible for what is not a great looking figure.

The issue here is all in the proportions. You get an unusually wide and blocky torso, and rather small arms and legs. The legs feel like they should pull out to extend farther, but they don’t and her arms just look like tiny T-Rex arms compared to that huge slab of a chest. While on the subject of the legs, this is a figure that doesn’t always like to stand. She’s definitely back heavy, but the high-heel spurs help to counter that. No, the problem is that the ball joints in the hips don’t always want to support her rather large upper body and so she does the splits and collapses. Override’s backpack can be removed to form a double barreled gun. It does help lighten up her back, but I don’t like the weapon at all. It looks so unwieldy and difficult to use.

Before wrapping up, I should also mention that no part of this figure works for me as a female. In fact, I didn’t even know she was a she until I got around to reading her Tech Spech long after I bought the figure. If anything, Override’s broad upper body reminds me of some of the later 80’s G1 Transformers, like Punch. The head sculpt is certainly interesting and has a strong Gundam vibe to the headgear, but the face itself is rather androgynous and I have a weird aversion to orange-faced Transformers. I know it’s strange, but I’m currently undergoing therapy to remedy that and we seem to be making progress.

Yeah, so that’s Override. As a rule, I’m usually a big fan of the Cybertron toys, but Override doesn’t do it for me. I seem to recall being a little easier on her back in the day, so it may just be the decade of better engineering in Transformers that has soured me on this figure. Either way, she certainly does have a very cool Auto mode, one that is very reminiscent of Blurr to me. Apparently I’m not alone because a little checking has turned up some generally impressive customs that show she does indeed make for a great Blurr homage, particularly in her alt mode.