So far I’ve been mighty happy with my decision to sub to Club Eternia for 2014, but I knew sooner or later that contentment could be shattered and this month’s release looked like it might be the one to do the job. The New Adventures line never meant anything to me as a kid, and I never looked twice at it as an adult collector either. But I never let my ignorance of a specific character mar my potential enjoyment of a figure and there’s no denying that Optikk was a great addition to my collection. And so I try to approach the New Adventures figure, Hydron, with an open mind. Let’s see if he can win me over. Also, apologies for this feature being a little late, but I could only squeeze one Matty figure into the tail end of March and obviously I went with The Unnamed One!

Gone are the white mailer boxes and in their place are brown ones that look like they’re made out of recycled Shop-Rite grocery bags. Oddly enough, mine also said Grizzlor on the back of the box. But open that sucker up and you’re treated to the same glorious Greyskull-themed package we’ve all come to know and love. Hydron’s package has a “Galactic Protectors” sticker on the bubble signifying that he comes from the New Adventures of He-Man mythos. There’s nothing else new and noteworthy here, so let’s bust him out.

While Icarus was clearly designed to fight in the skies, Hydron battles evil below the waves. I get a very strong Centurions feeling out of these guys, and that’s not a bad thing at all. Hydron comes fully decked out in his underwater gear, the centerpiece of which is the rubbery chest piece that fits over the figure’s buck. It’s sculpted with various hoses and vents to keep him alive during his underwater doings. In a place as wacky and diverse as the Masters universe, you’d think The Guardians could find someone that can actually breathe underwater to take care of your underwater ops. But nope, that falls on this guy. Other notable points of interest on Hydron’s costume include webbed flippers on his feet and a sculpted knife strapped to his right leg.

Hydron features a clear dome and a backpack with breather hoses, all of which can be removed to get a better look at the head sculpt. The portrait includes a very retro-looking fin helmet and he has a red breather mask permanently attached to his face. Why wear the breather mask in addition to the dome and breather apparatus? I don’t know, why does the gardener have a giant robotic elephant head? It’s best not to ask these questions. It is, however, annoying since Hydron didn’t always walk around wearing it in the cartoon. It kind of defeats the purpose of being able to take off his gear.

In addition to his removable gear, Hydron comes with a crazy looking trident gun. It’s a cool design, but as far as MOTUC accessories go, it’s pretty weak. It’s cast in super soft yellow plastic with no paint apps. Hydron can hold it in either hand, but it seems to be designed for his left. On the plus side, it is designed so it can be worn on his belt by passing the handle through the loop.

I’ll confess, there are plenty of other characters I would have rather had occupy this slot, but that doesn’t mean I’m angry or bitter that Hydron was included in the Sub. At least I have someone to keep Icarus company on the shelf. I don’t know what the general feeling among the Masters community is about New Adventure characters in the sub, but I’m it for the figures and Hydron is certainly a pretty cool figure. I probably wouldn’t have bought him Day of Sale, but considering how much I love Two Bad, Glimmer, Modulok, and The Unnamed One, I don’t have a problem having this one thrown into the mix.

I don’t tend to venture too deep into the Masters Fandom, it seems to be a pretty angry place these days, but I gather that today’s featured figure was none too popular among those ranks. A mystery figure said to be steeped in Masters Lore and dangled before the fans as a major incentive to get subscriptions in 2014, he is The Unnamed One. Gorpo, The Evil Lord of Chaos, the creator of The Snakemen and one of the major players in the struggle for power in Eternia and beyond is revealed to be… a Trollan Wizard. And a whole lot of Masters fans absolutely lost their shit in the aftermath.

Yup, there he is. The subscription only figure shipped along with March’s monthly figure. I don’t know what Matty was thinking when they planned this release, especially knowing what a fickle and unforgiving bunch the Masters collectors can be. They must have known that this was going to invoke fanwide butt-hurt on an atomic level. It almost seems as if they are actually trolling their own customer base. Or is that trollan? HA! Anyway, as many of you may know I’ve always been into Masters for the figures first and the fiction a very, very distant second, so if you’re looking for me to fly into a drunken rage over this figure, you’re going to be disappointed. Quite frankly, the idea of getting a figure of an evil Trollan Wizard is pretty damn cool in my book. Let’s bust this little guy out and see what we’ve got.

I really do love the character design here. Since most of my exposure to Trollans comes from the annoying and blundering Orko, it’s very cool to see a menacing and evil member of the race. The very idea of a spell slinging Trollan Warlord intrigues me. Gorpo comes clad in tattered dark blue robes with some nasty looking trappings sculpted in. The detail on his belt consists of pouches and a dagger, he’s got chest and shoulder armor and a sculpted red skull in the center of his chest. The stock portrait includes a purple hood with a drooping point, long blue ears, and two sinister yellow eyes that peer out above his purple mask. I used to doodle guys like this back in my AD&D obsessed days. In fact, Gorpo would look right at home on the cover of a TSR module, hovering around some lair full of dusty books and summoning an unholy beast from a stone well. I just dig everything about this guy!

You also get a swappable head with a helmeted portrait. The sculpting on this piece is a lot more intricate as the helmet is rather elaborately decorated with some scrollwork and spikes. There’s a mohawk-style crest on top and Gorpo’s long ears protrude from each side. If I had ears like that I think I’d want them protected a little better in combat! The helmet matches the armor on the body pretty well. It’s undoubtedly a very nice alternative portrait, but I think I’ll stick to the hooded one for my regular display.

In addition to the extra head, The Unnamed One also comes with a few more goodies. You get the same style flight stand that came with Orko. It’s a little bigger and it just plugs into the socket under the robes and supports the figure quite well. You also get a magic wand and an effect piece. The wand is a far more formidable than the wimpy one that came with Orko and Gorpo can hold it comfortably in his right hand. The green orb in the center of the head catches light pretty well giving it a neat glowing effect. The effect part slips onto Gorpo’s other hand and looks like he’s shooting magic. As far as effect parts go, it’s not too bad, but these generally tend to wind up in my dreaded Tote of Forgotten Accessories.

You also get a couple of pieces of ephemera. A Mini-Comic is included in The Unnamed One’s package. I know fans go nuts over these, but I gave it a quick read through and it didn’t do anything for me. I think I would have been a lot more interested if it was rooted the more familiar and contemporary period. I wasn’t a big fan of the art either.

On the other hand, the Horde Map is a very cool bonus. It’s not actually packaged with Gorpo, but rather comes with him as part of the Sub incentive. Matty has been doing these maps as part of the subs all along, but since 2014 was the first time I subbed Club Eternia, this is my first map. I had actually forgotten all about it until I saw it in the box. It’s a big colorful piece of art that I wouldn’t mind hanging someday if can find the wall space.

To the hardcore Masters fans who are rankled by this release… I get it. I really do. You were expecting something unspeakably bad ass and even if there hadn’t been a long wind up of suspense, most of you still would have found Gorpo here disappointing.  Fans have also been grousing about the price, reminding us that Orko came with a whole Prince Adam figure crammed into the bottom of the package. I’d point out that The Unnamed One is considerably larger than Orko and the sculpt is vastly more intricate. I’ll concede that as a smaller figure he is definitely pushing the envelope when it comes to this line’s price point, but it’s not as bad as everyone is saying. Nonetheless, with expectations running wild, I doubt there’s anything I can say that’s going to swing the sour opinions on this figure. Nor am I out to do that. I think he’s a great release, and I’m glad to add him to my shelves.

Hot damn, Mattel sure is bringing their A-game to the 2014 Sub! It’s only been a month since the incredible Two Bad graced my doorstep and now we’re getting the mind-blowingly amazing Modulok. This crazy figure was one I never thought would ever happen in the Classics line and I’m so very glad to be proven wrong on that. It’s still hard to believe I’m holding the box in my hands. But with two such heavy hitters lined up for the first two months of the Sub, and Glimmer thrown in there too, I can’t help but wonder… is Matty shooting his entire load too early? Why the hell did I have to go and put an image of Matty masturbating into my head?  Arghh! Get out of my head! Quick, let’s jump straight to the packaging!!!

With Modulok confirmed, my first ponderings went to how he was going to be packaged. Surely he was going to be too big to fit into the regular card and bubble affair. And yet he wasn’t going to be big enough for a beast package either. The answer is he comes in a totally enclosed box and this made me very happy. I certainly have no complaints about the regular card and bubbles Matty uses for this line, but I’ll happily take any opportunity we can get for a box with some old school artwork. The front of the box has a great rendering of Modulok with all sorts of different combinations of him in the background. The back panel has his bio along with other figures in the line. The only gripe I have with this package is that the flaps are all glued shut and so I had to cut one of the flaps to get it open. I seem to recall a lot of collectors pissed about this with their Back to the Future Hoverboards. Tape, Matty! Ever hear of tape??? I know you have, because you used it on all your other MOTUC boxes. Anyway, this box sure seems rather thin to contain an action figure of Modulok’s bizarre stature.

And that’s because Modulok comes only partially assembled and with his various parts surrounding a core, humanoid figure. This was a great way to go because it makes you build him for the first time and really explore what Modulok is all about. Even if you just got this guy to stand on your display shelf, you’ll still get the fun of putting him together. It also gives a great sense of just how many pieces and combinations are available. Because of Modulok’s nature, this can’t be any kind of traditional MOTUC figure review because he really isn’t one figure. In fact, as soon as I got him out of the box I started having a ball mixing and matching his parts.

Of course, Modulok does have an official build, and there he is… creepy as all hell. I don’t remember being nearly this creeped out by him as a kid, but then that was before I was exposed to something called The Human Centipede. There are no instructions on how to build him into this form, but it’s not too hard to figure out if you use the box as a reference. I actually kind of dig the lack of instructions because it’s like Mattel saying, “there are no instructions because he’s whatever you want him to be. There are no wrong answers, kids!” The plastic used here is very similar to the regular MOTUC figures. For some reason I didn’t expect Modulok to fit well with the rest of the line, but he feels right at home on one of my Masters shelves. Building him in this form leaves some extra pieces, but it’s easy to throw on a couple more arms.

Modulok comes with a pair of guns that can be combined into one big gun. Or is that one big gun that splits into two little guns? Either way, he can hold it best with his regular fingered hands, but if you’re persistent it will also work with his clawed hands… sort of.

While Modulok’s official build is a great display piece for my collection, the real fun with this figure is found in experimenting. The other day I had a movie on and I spent virtually the whole two hours popping bits off and other bits on. With so many parts and so many combinations I found myself only limited by my twisted imagination. Playing with Modulok is very much like playing the PC game Spore only in action figure form. The fact that you can build him into two figures is pretty damn cool as well.

As a subber, Modulok set me back $40, which seemed rather high at the time. I think a lot of that was the sticker shock of seeing him plus Glimmer plus shipping and tax hitting $80+. As a result, it’s more accurate to say that I paid about $55 for him when all was said and done. A premium? Yes, but with re-sellers offering him at up to $100, it seems like a bargain in comparison. Even if my plan was just to display him on my shelf, I’d still be content enough with the price. He’s a great looking figure and manages to stand out even on a shelf populated by total freaks. But unlike most of my MOTUC figures that stand on display shelves and get moved around once in a blue moon when I dust or rework the display, Modulok is a figure that I’m going to be playing around with a lot. Like a Rubik’s Cube or a good Transformer, he’s a toy that begs me to fiddle around with him even if my attention is on something else. I was talking on the phone the other day and by the time the call was ended I was barely aware of the fact that I had broken him down into all his parts, and so I gleefully started building him again. FUN!  He may be one of the most atypical MOTUC figures to date, but it also makes him one of the coolest!

Holy shit, it’s 2014 and for the first time since the whole Matty Collector madness started I am an official Club Eternia subscriber: Smart move or pure idiocy? Folks, only time will tell. But right now I’m feeling pretty good about it because my Two Bad has arrived and I was able to let Sale Day pass me by without having to worry whether I would be in the middle of a management meeting at work when the gates opened. Of course Sale Day wouldn’t have mattered in Two Bad’s case because he was a Sub Only figure with no stock available for Day of Sale. It was kind of a dick move on Matty’s part, but at this point who isn’t used to it?

I don’t usually bother with the mailer boxes, but I took a shot of this one because Matty has moved away from the familiar white mailers in favor of these new (and I assume cheaper) brown boxes. To date, I’ve only saved two mailer boxes and those were for the two vehicles, which I keep boxed. As a result I really don’t care about this decision, but I can imagine it might irk some MIB collectors.

The actual package inside is what we’ve been seeing all along. The only thing I have to say about it is that it corrected my consistent urge to put a hyphen in Two Bad’s name when there isn’t supposed to be one. Sorry, Two Bad… My Bad! HA! I’ll also point out that I found his bio to be of particular interest. I’ve always been familiar with the vintage figure, but I never knew anything about the character. I love the fact that Two Bad was originally two people magically fused together by Skeletor because they failed to take out He-Man. Jeez, talk about a disproportionate response. If Skeletor did this every time his minions failed, he’d just have one giant ball of arms and legs and heads following him around. I also dig that their names, Tuvar and Badra fuse together to make Two Bad. Sort of. It’s like that episode of Star Trek Voyager where Tuvok and Neelix fused to become Tuvix. LOL… Voyager was shit. I’ve been drinking. Where was I? Oh yeah… Let’s rip open Two Bad and check him out.

My first impression is that I expected Two Bad would be bigger. That’s not a complaint against the figure, just a misconception on my part. He’s actually not much bulkier than your average MOTUC figure and that’s fine by me. With that revelation out of the way, I’ve got to say the next thing that impresses me the most are the colors. I absolutely love the colors on this figure! These particular shades of blue and purple look amazing and when you toss in the silver paint on Tuvar’s gauntlet and boot, the bright red belt and the orange chest armor, it all makes for a very pleasing deco. Indeed, Two Bad’s coloring really gives Mantenna a run for his money and that’s high praise. He’s gorgeous!

Not to be outdone by the coloring, the sculpt is right up there as well. The contrast between Tuvar’s smooth skin and Badra’s meticulously sculpted scales drives home the combined nature of the figure. I also really dig all the attention paid to the sculpt of Badra’s boot and gauntlet. They don’t stand out much because the dark brown blends in with the dark purple, but there’s some crazy attention to detail there. The boot has all kinds of medieval looking spikes and buckles and the glove has a reinforced band on the knuckles to deliver extra pain in his punches.

And then there are the portraits! Usually when we talk about multiple portraits on a figure we’re talking about swappable heads, but in this case it’s two at the same time. How cool is that, eh? The head sculpts are each pretty well done, although I’m leaning toward Tuvar’s as my favorite mainly because of the paint. I’m not entirely sold on the orange eyebrow ridge on Badra and it also looks like there might be a bit of mold flashing on his noggin. I’ll also point out that there isn’t a lot of clearance between the heads, thanks to Badra’s ear spike thingies. If Tuvar is looking straight ahead then Badra can turn just fine, but if Tuvar’s head is off to the side there’s some rubbing. No big deal, and I’d prefer it this way than have their heads set tilting away from each other like on the vintage figure.

Unless you count the extra ball jointed neck, Two Bad has mostly the same articulation as any other MOTUC male buck. That includes ball joints in the shoulders and hips, hinges in the elbows, knees and ankles, swivels in the biceps and wrists, a swivel in the waist, and an ab crunch hinge in the torso. Oh yeah, he also has swivels at the top of each boot.   

Two Bad comes with two accessories. First, you get an orange shield with a really strange clip that’s made to work with the fins on Badra’s gauntlet. I like the shield, but it seems like it could have used some more paint apps. Plus, if you like to mix and match weapons you’re out of luck here because this thing is only going to work with Two Bad. Secondly, you get the two headed mace, which is a really goofy and unwieldy looking weapon. I get it, it’s got two heads just like Two Bad, I still think it’s kind strange.

Two-Bad is an amazing figure and I love him enough to say he comes close to beating out Mantenna as my favorite recent figure in this line. He’s colorful, quirky, and beautifully sculpted. It’s a shame Matty had to go and make him a Sub only figure because I realize there are tons of collectors without the means or willingness to do a whole sub. That having been said, you can still find him for sale through secondary online sellers and while he’s expensive, he’s still a ton cheaper than buying a Sub just for the one figure. Either way, he’s a great way to kick off 2014 and it’s figures like Two Bad along with the great releases from last year’s Filmation Club that convinced me to go in for a Sub this year. Hopefully I won’t be regretting it by the end of the year.