I honestly thought I’d have some more Generations Deluxes for today’s Transformers Thursday, but I’m waiting to ship my Pile of Loot, so it might be another week or so. In the meantime, I dug my salty mitts into the Armada bin again and this time I pulled out Sideways. And then I had to go back in after his two Minicons. Sideways is a convaluted figure, so let’s jump right in and get started with a look at his alt mode….

Sidways is a purple and yellow sports cycle. Ah, it’s all coming back to me now… “back on Cybertron they called my Sideways. I guess I’m a bit of a drifter.” No, Sideways, you’re a bit of a douchebag! I don’t remember a lot about muscling my way through the Armada cartoon, but I do remember hating this guy with a white hot passion. Him and that damn butt-rock guitar riff that they trotted out every time he was on screen. Was he an Autobot? Was he a Decepticon? Who cares? In the end he was dick. Of course, I got the toy before I ever saw his character in the series, so I just figured his faction swap gimmick was something like Punch and Counterpunch. And I kept believing that even after I was shown different in the cartoon.

Sideways’ motorcycle mode is a bit chunky, but designing transforming motorcycles can be tricky. I think the only figure that ever got it really right was Cy-kill and he was a f’cking Go-Bot! Ok, G1 Wreckgar wasn’t that bad either. My point is, if you try to make the alt mode too perfect, you’re going to come away with a monstrosity like Lugnutz from the Cybertron line. You can go see for yourself, but don’t worry… I’ll get to him eventually. Anyway, I do like Sideways’ alt mode well enough. The paint and deco are awesome and if you combine his Minicons, Rook and Crosswise, they can ride him. Ok, I might as well talk about his Minicons, because that’s where things get all sorts of crazy.

So, there they are, Rook and Crosswise, and they are an odd pair in the world of Minicons. Don’t ask me which one is which, because I don’t know. And for godsakes, don’t tell me, because I don’t care. What do they turn into? Well each one on their own does serve a special function… they’re basically like headmasters, but before we get to that they can combine into one robot rider for Sideways.

There’s his combined mode. All in all, not too shabby for what it is. Thanks to a generous helping of ball joints, the combined mode is actually kind of fun to play around with. Hasbro has done at least one Minicon combiner since, but the fact that this guy is just two robots makes him more impressive to me. Some paint hits on that head sculpt wouldn’t have gone amiss.

He also sits on the bike rathe well, thanks to the assistance of a tab that comes out of his butticular region. He also has little notches in his hands so he can sort of grip the handle bars. All in all, this is some pretty good engineering for a 10 year old line of Transformers and I’d like to see Hasbro try something similar again. Ok, let’s lay these two crazy little bots aside for a moment and look at Sideways in his robot mode.

Call me crazy, but I dig it. I always have. I get a major later-G1 toy vibe off of this guy. His transformation is quite simple, but all the more clever for it. The way the front of the bike becomes his chest works really well and I love the way his translucent neon exhaust pipes become arm mounted missiles. Cool! I also love the way his wheels fold up and pack on his back. I’m a big fan of symmetry in my Transformers and such a characteristic is sadly lacking from a lot of transforming motorcycles. The only thing that throws off Sideways’ symmetry are the wheels peaking up over his shoulders, and I can live with that. Did I mention how much I dig the paint and deco on this guy? I think I did, but it’s worth repeating because it serves him just as well in robot mode.

And then there’s that head. It’s a cylindrical bucket reminiscent of a knights helmet with the handlebars becoming antlers. Did somebody say Ni? His Minicons should have transformed into shrubbery. They don’t. But they do transform into two different heads for Sideways and when you plug each one in it reveals a different faction symbol in his chest.

As far as gimmicks, go this one isn’t terrible. Like I said earlier, it’s a very cool nod back to the Headmasters and the way they would reveal the figure’s stats in the chest. I’m pretty sure, my figure is messed up, though, because I would think the black (and more sinister looking) head is supposed to reveal the Decepticon emblem and the white head the Autobot emblem. Mine is the other way around. And if you aren’t a fan of the handlebar antlers on the stock head, I’ve got bad new for you: The faction heads have antlers made out of the Minicons legs. Although, if the bother you, you can fold them back a bit.

In a lot of ways, this is a fun figure and I feel bad about not embracing the Headmaster gimmick here, just because Hasbro should get points for trying it. It’s a neat feature, I kind of like it, but I never display this guy with the faction heads. I just prefer to go with the stock figure and stand his combined Minicons in front of him. Unless he’s displayed in alt mode and in that case I always have the two combined and riding him. Of course, Hasbro repainted this mold and used it again in the Energon line for Rapid Run, but I’ll save that for another day. Maybe next week I’ll have some new Generations figures to look at. If not, it’ll be another nostalgic trip to the Armada tote.

My well of Generations and Classics figures has run dry for now, so until something new turns up, I’ll be back to digging into the Unicron Trilogy toys for my Transformers Thursdays. Today I reached into the Armada bin and pulled up… Deluxe Class Thrust! When Armada first came out I was newly returned to the toy collecting scene. Everything was fresh and exciting and I was positively drunk with a desire to get the figures as soon as possible, and for some reason I was especially obsessed with finding Cyclonus and Thrust. I would make regular trips to all the Targets, Kmarts, and Walmarts in the area and kept coming up empty. Finally, I broke down and paid a premium for them on Ebay. A few days later I was picking up cold medicine in a CVS or Walgreens and there were both figures hanging on the pegs in their pathetic little toy aisle. What were the odds of that? I still bought them and so I do still have carded examples of both figures floating around somewhere, but I couldn’t find the carded Thrust in time for today’s review, so let’s jump straight to the alt mode.

As the name suggests, Thrust is a jet. In retrospect it’s odd that they went with a Deluxe jet so early in the line when they already had Starscream and later Skywarp and Thundercracker covered as larger toys. It’s even more odd when you consider how many repaints Hasbro got out of this mold. The mold itself has that rather toyish looking charm that characterized just about all of the Armada toys, and yet it still manages to pack a ridiculous amount of detail in the sculpt. This thing has sculpted panel lines, exposed engine parts, a VTOL fan, and even tiny rivets scattered across the body. And man, how I loved Armada’s sculpted faction emblems. The Decepticon emblem on his wing is gorgeous. If it weren’t for the giant goofy flick-fire missiles slung under the wings, this would have been a far more serious looking jet.

Thrust’s deco is also rather schizophrenic. The gray body has a wonderful wash over it, which evokes a slight camo motif, but then the neon green missiles and mint green paint apps on the wings throw any realism out the window. Still, extra little touches like the red and silver paint hits betray a time when Hasbro was willing to throw a lot more money into the coloring of their Deluxe figures.

Thrust’s Minicon buddy is Inferno and he’s one of my favorites. His alt mode is a missile truck and he has a very simple but effective transformation that gives him a simple four points of articulation. Still, what’s up with that face sculpt? He looks like a bird wearing a monocle. Why was Armada so obsessed with giving the Transformers crazy faces?

Inferno can ride on Thrust’s back when they are both in vehicle mode, and this feature is easily my favorite thing about Thrust. Inferno doesn’t just get plugged on top, but he’s actually got a little compartment between the tail fins made for him to sit. He works so perfectly in there that Thrust’s jet mode looks a bit odd to me without Inferno riding along. Of course, it also helps that Inferno adds a missile launcher to Thrust’s arsenal. This kind of interplay between their vehicle modes is great, especially considering Thrust’s Minicon gimmick when he’s in robot mode is so ridiculous that I’m not even going to showcase it.

And here we are in robot mode and man is Thrust a hot mess. Let me start out by saying I get a HUGE Beast Machines Vehicon vibe off of this guy and I don’t mean that in a good way. Yeah, Beast Machines Tankor is still one of my favorite Deluxe Transformers of all time, but he’s the exception to the rule. Most of Thrust’s design problems lie in his arms and legs. His arms have lots of tail fin kibble, which gets in the way of a lot of posing. He also doesn’t have hands, just thrusters to use as weapons. I don’t have a problem with Transformers having one gun hand. I actually kind of like it. But, c’mon guys, how does the dude get through life without at least one workable hand?

The legs, however, are the real mess here. The missile launchers that are mounted on his knees could not be more awkwardly placed. You can take the missiles out to help a bit, but that’s a cheat and the launcher stubs still look fugly there. Also, check out the hollowed out tail that hangs down between his legs. The pegs on it are what his legs peg into in vehicle mode. Having them so close to his legs in their natural position is just terrible design. You might as well just leave them pegged in. Bah!

The deco in robot mode also takes a hit. Besides the bland grey plastic, he shows off a lot of that ugly neon green. At least he has those two lovely sculpted and painted Decepticon insignia in his shoulders. Mmm… pretty.

And that’s Thrust for ya. I don’t enjoy speaking ill of the Armada line, but even my ridiculous nostalgic love for Armada can’t blind me to the fact that this figure has not aged well. Then again, it was never one of my favorites back then either. That’s kind of ironic considering how much I went through to find him and that I wound up with two of them. Still, based solely on his pedigree as an Armada figure, I can’t totally hate on him. He’s got a strange charm to him and having Cyclonus and Demolisher on the shelf without him just wouldn’t seem right. The crazy thing is, I also have two of the subsequent repaints of this mold, but I’ll save them for another day.