Here we are at the Sixth and final part of my look at the first 25^th Anniversary Battle Pack for G.I. JOE. If G.I. JOE isn’t your bag, I appreciate you indulging me this week. On the other hand, if you’re just stopping back to see if I’m still doing G.I. JOE… go to hell and come back on Monday!!!! Ahem… so far we’ve looked at Duke, Scarlett, Snake Eyes, and Gung-Ho and that brings us to everybody’s favorite rhyming and machine gun-toting chef, Roadblock. The character has garnered a lot of attention since being played by The Rock in that questionable follow up to the equally questionable G.I. JOE live action movie. Let’s see how he fared in the 25^th Anniversary line.

Well, he looks pretty damn great! Ok, so his shoulders kind of look like Whoppers malted candies, but otherwise I’d say Hasbro presented us with a nice amalgam of Sunbow and vintage figure. There’s nothing too crazy here in the sculpt. You’ve got a nice camo wife-beater and brown trousers. He also sports a separate web gear piece with some pouches and a grenade. I should also note that the head sculpt looks exactly like somebody I work with, facial hair and all, and ever since I met the guy, I can never look at this figure the same way again. Anyway, Roadblock is a simple, understated but effective figure. Nice job here, Hasbro!

In addition to his removable helmet and personalized figure stand, Roadblock comes with his trademark machine gun. The gun is a nice sculpt and comes in two parts if you include the detachable tripod. Unfortunately the gun is cast in green plastic, which was an odd choice since all the other weapons in this set are appropriately cast in black. I should also note that the tripod is fairly useless. I can’t get Roadblock into a convincing prone position to have him firing it. The only time I’ve ever used the tripod for display was to have the gun standing next to him or to have it standing on the hood of the VAMP while he’s firing it.

Along with the machine gun, you get a belt of ammo and a magazine backpack. I love this idea, and connecting the ammo belt to the gun and the backpack looks fantastic, although you really have to work at it to get the backpack, the belt, the gun, and the figure all play along together. Which brings me to…

Playing around with Roadblock and his gear is a frustrating endeavor. First off, the peg holes in his feet are larger than the other figures, so the figure stands I use tend to fall right off of him. More importantly, his arms have Duke arm issues, where the hands are clearly sculpted to get him to hold the machine gun in both hands, but because his arms don’t bend at the elbows as much as they should, and because the wrists aren’t hinged, it’s tough to get him to hold his weapon with any conviction. Posing Roadblock brandishing his kick ass gun and mowing down Cobras by the dozens should be fun, but I can’t count the number of F-bombs I dropped trying to get him ready for a shot, only to have the gun pop out of his hands or the figure stand fall onto the floor. It’s amazing that even with all of these frustrations, I still love this figure.

And that puts this week long feature to bed. I’ve been meaning to do this for a while and I kept putting it off because I didn’t think I’d get too into it. Turns out I loved pulling this set out and looking at it again. So much so, that I wouldn’t be surprised to see the other two Battle Packs in the 25^th Anniversary line turn up here before too long. In fact, I may pencil in the Cobra set for a week in July.

I’ll freely admit that a lot of the 30^th Anniversary figures were nearly perfect from a technical standpoint. I don’t think I’ve seen better 3 ¾” figures in terms of articulation, sculpt, and gear. And yet I hardly bought any of them. Why? Because I still prefer the style and charm of these 25^th figures. These are the JOEs I grew up with and these are the ones that made me into an avid collector again. When they went away, I wandered away from the franchise. I’d like to say the reason why JOE isn’t a major player in the toy aisles anymore is because Hasbro abandoned this line, but I don’t think that’s the case. The 25^th figures were all over the clearance aisles and I was able to pick up more than a few for next to nothing at Marshall’s and Ross. For some reason kids just stopped loving JOE and that… well, that’s just a bummer. I don’t know why, but I’m open to hearing speculation.

It’s Part Five of my G.I. JOE Battle Pack feature and we’re in the home stretch with only two figures left. Today we’re looking at Gung-Ho which is a character that I always liked a lot, despite the fact that he has always given off a strong Village People vibe. As far as the figure goes, well unfortunately, 25^th Gung-Ho has a lot in common with Duke. There is some superb sculpting at work here, but he’s got a couple of issues that hold him back from being as great as Scarlett or Snake Eyes.

Ok, first the good stuff. No, make that the great stuff. The sculpting on this figure is amazing. The use of a separate vest, with all the little pockets and a grenade,  laid over the figure looks fantastic when coupled with all the muscles in his chest. It adds so much depth and credibility to the figure’s appearance. The trousers feature grenade rounds sculpted onto his left leg and a functional holster on his right hip. Even the portrait is superb and the cap is perfect right down to the tiny anchor insignia. If I had one gripe about this figure’s aesthetics  it would be that the tattoo on his chest should have been a little more pronounced. Otherwise, I think Hasbro nailed this figure perfectly. The detail is just fantastic.

So, the biggest problem with Gung-Ho is his legs. The hip joints are so goddamn loose that he can barely stand up on his own, even when he’s plugged into a figure stand. You can hold him by the torso and shake him and his legs will flop all over the place. Too bad the Code Name Crazy Legs was already taken. Originally, I thought it was just a problem with my figure, but I own three Gung-Ho’s: Two from the 5-pack and one single carded. Every one of them has the same problem. Because the pegs are so far back on the figure stand, he’ll topple backwards and take the whole stand with him. You can flip it around to balance it out for some better luck, but Gung-Ho will still lean backwards at the hips as if he and Shipwreck had a little too much to drink on shore leave.

The articulation here is pretty much identical to Duke and Snake Eyes. Gung-Ho’s arms seem slightly better designed than Duke’s. The wrist swivels are a little higher than I would like, but at least they aren’t in the middle of the forearm. The elbow ball joints also don’t quite reach a 90-degree angle. Nonetheless, I’ve had less frustration getting Gung-Ho’s arms to do what I want than I did with Duke. Maybe it’s because I was more frustrated by him wanting to fall down all the time.

In addition to his personalized stand, Gung-Ho comes with three accessories. You get his backpack, an M79 grenade launcher and an automatic pistol. I really dig the grenade launcher, mainly because it’s actually hinged in the middle so you can break it open at the breech for loading and Gung-Ho can hold it fairly well in his right hand. The pistol fits snugly into the holster and he can hold it best in his left hand. The backpack pegs into the figure’s back right through the vest. It has a tendency to work its way out from time to time. I’ve been tempted to glue it into place, since I have a few extra Gung-Ho’s in case I ever wanted one of them to sit in a vehicle.

In the end, Gung-Ho share’s Duke’s pain, as he has that one unfortunate flaw that keeps him from being outstanding. I don’t know what causes that problem with his hips, but it seems like it could have been easily fixed because none of the other figures have it. Gung-Ho is an amazing looking figure that pays great respects to the character, and so long as I leave him on my shelf with the others, he does my collection proud. He’s also great for sitting in a vehicle. But as soon as I try to pose him the disappointment sets in. That’s probably why when I had my JOE collection displayed he was relegated to VAMP driver. Ah well. Tomorrow we’ll wrap this week up with a look at the final figure in this set, Roadblock.

Last time I said we were moving on to a controversial character for me and that is indeed Snake Eyes. Why? Because I hate how he got perverted into some kind of ninja. F’cking Ninjas! Why did you have to get your hooks into GI JOE? I know a lot of people dig Ninjas. They ruled the late 80’s and early 90’s. Being accused of not liking Ninjas back then was akin to being named a Communist in the McCarthy Hearings. [Post your hate comments below!] But now I feel I can speak out. GI JOE went too far with the Ninjas and turning Snake Eyes into one of them was a big part of it. When I got my Snake Eyes figure back in the early 80’s the File Card told me he was a Commando and I always used him as some kind of bad-ass tactical specialist. This guy would repel down walls and shoot up the place with his Uzi. Sure it says he knows a lot of martial arts, but that doesn’t make him a Ninja. Until it did. Maybe Commandos are just 20^th Century Urban Ninjas. Either way, I always preferred my Snake Eyes to be gunning people down rather than getting into sword fights. Well, nearly 30 years later it’s all a moot point now, so let’s just take a look at the figure.

25^th Snake Eyes is downright amazing. While many of these figures feel like they are straddling the old and the new, in 2007 this Snake Eyes gave us a clear and defined preview of the kind of awesome figures that would lie ahead in the 30^th Anniversary Collection. What really elevates this figure is all the gear and accessories that Hasbro loaded onto him. That’s not to say what’s underneath isn’t superb. This is classic Snake Eyes through and through, right down to his awesome BMX-style Commando mask and all his tactical gear. He’s got all enough sculpted pouches and pockets to make Rob Liefeld jealous and on top of that he has a separate sculpted set of web gear. When I first saw this figure I was absolutely beside myself with how much Hasbro packed into him.

The articulation here is nearly identical to Duke only with the arms almost completely fixed. The swivels have been relocated from the forearms down to the wrists where they belong. I still wish the ball joints in the shoulders gave a greater range of motion, but what we have here is still loads better. Had Hasbro just slapped some swivel cuts into the thighs, I’d have no other complaints.

As for the accessories, Snake Eyes is loaded out as a one-man killing machine. First off, you get a satchel of explosives, which looks way too good to be on a 3 ¾” figure. The detail on the satchel and strap is amazing and it has tiny painted green lacing and “EXPLOSIVES” printed across it. It does add quite a bit of bulk to the figure, so I prefer to leave it off, but that doesn’t make it any less welcome. It’s always nice to have an explosives satchel to toss into the open canopy of a HISS Tank while the driver is off taking a piss.

Next up is his signature Uzi submachine gun. It’s a great little weapon, although the stock does sometimes get in the way of him holding it. That having been said, the arm articulation does allow him to hold it with both hands, which is impressive since it’s so small. Duke could barely hold his huge M-16 in both hands. That should show you how much better the arms on Snake Eyes are designed.

What do you do when your explosives are blown up and you’re Uzi’s out of ammo? You whip out your automatic pistol, of course. Snake Eyes pistol fits into a functional holster on his left hip and is perfectly for secretly executing Cobra prisoners… I mean, defending himself… yeah… defending himself.

Of course, when Snake Eyes is sneaking into a camp and needs to dispatch guards without making a lot of bang-bangs, he has his trusty combat knife. The knife fits into a functional sheath on his right thigh and it’s a very nice piece for this scale. Notice what Snake Eyes doesn’t come with? A bloody Ninja Sword! And that’s the way I like it!

In case you haven’t guessed by now, I absolutely adore this figure and it is without a doubt my favorite Snake Eyes in the scale. That’s saying a lot, because Snake Eyes has had a ton of figures devoted to him and many of them have been quite good. Unlike Duke and Scarlett, 25^th Snake Eyes represents a bigger departure from his vintage figure, but that’s mostly because Hasbro had the ability now to load him up with gear and I think they made the right choice. I could never get tired of playing around with this guy and even now I want to set up a little Cobra camp full of troopers for him to single-handedly kill. Tomorrow… we’ll keep this JOE train running with Gung-Ho!

Moving on to the second figure in this set, today we’re checking out Shana O’Hara, aka Scarlett. Mmm… Scarlett. Like many children of the 80’s, I had some of my first crushes on cartoon characters. At least I hope I had that in common with other kids. Maybe I was just messed up. That might explain a lot of things about me now. Anyway, I can’t say as Scarlett was my favorite of the 80’s animated hotties, but she was definitely on the list. I might have stood her up for a chance at Baroness or Cover Girl. And while I can never know for sure, I think I owe my lifelong affinity for redheads to Sunbow Scarlett. Let’s see if her 25^th Anniversary figure fares any better than Duke. Ok I’ll kill the suspense… yes it does.

Much like Duke, Scarlett’s sculpt is a great compromise between vintage figure and Sunbow design. Her uniform hits all the right points from the red quilted pad and canister grenade on her shoulders to the throwing stars painted and sculpted onto her gloves. The outfit details are much simpler than what we got on Duke, but that’s more because of the simplicity of her character design, rather than laziness in sculpting. I think my only quibble here is the belt that hangs around her waist. I probably could have done without that as it adds a little awkward bulk to her shapely form. In fact, the only thing that keeps me from cutting it off of her is that it has a sculpted quiver of bolts for her crossbow on the back. Nevertheless, just looking at this figure takes me back to playing with my figures as a kid. Scarlett was always on every JOE team I assembled and she was always at the forefront kicking ass and taking names.

Scarlett’s portrait isn’t terribly faithful to either the Sunbow or vintage figure, but it still works for me. She doesn’t have the personality that Duke has. It’s a generic, but fairly pretty face that suits the character well enough. Hasbro’s female head sculpts are always a crap shoot, so I’m not going to complain. Crap Shoot! Why was there never a JOE code named Crap Shoot? There was a Crap Game… no, wait… that was Don Rickles in Kelly’s Heroes.  Where the hell was I? Oh, yeah, Scarlett’s noggin. What does stand out here for me is her awesome red hair, which is tied off into a pony tail of sorts and flows beautifully behind her. Hasbro really nailed her coif perfectly.

The articulation here is almost identical to Duke’s. The key difference is that instead of having double-hinges in the knees, Scarlett has ball joints. Normally I would cry foul, but I find that Scarlett is a lot more poseable than Duke. The big improvement here is the design of her arms, which allows her to bend her elbows and actually hold her weapons in various natural positions. Her heels make it a little tough for her to stand sometimes, but that’s why God invented pegged figure stands.

And speaking of weapons, Scarlett comes with two. You get her signature crossbow and a small automatic pistol. The crossbow comes in two parts and has a tendency to fall apart a lot when playing with it. Apart from that it looks great, right down to the tiny sculpted bolt. The pistol is much smaller than Duke’s and she can hold it great in either hand, but there’s nowhere to put it and it becomes rather superfluous, especially since she has a pistol sculpted into her belt. Oh yeah, Scarlett also comes with a personalized display stand.

The 25^th Anniversary Scarlett isn’t perfect, but she is pretty damn good. She’s also my favorite Scarlett figure to date and that’s saying something because there have been quite a few. I would have loved to see bicep and thigh swivels on this figure, but even without them she’s still fun to pose, looks great in action, and is just an all-around fun figure that satisfies both the vintage and Sunbow fan in me. Tomorrow we’re moving on to the third figure in the set and one that has become something of a controversial character to me… Snake Eyes!

If you’re just joining me, I’m sort of off this week and so I’ve prepared this drawn out feature on Hasbro’s 25^th Anniversary Battle Pack to fill the void. Normally I could have knocked out this thing in a couple of parts, so this week’s posts may seem a little on the light side. Hey, at least when I’m padding content I come out and admit it. Anyway, yesterday we looked at the package and today we’re kicking off the figures with Duke. Ahh, Duke Hauser. I’ve got some great memories of the original Duke figure. I got him as a mail-away figure along with that weird Manta sail board. Sitting around waiting an eternity for mail-away figures was a staple of my youth. Unfortunately, not all the figures in this Battle Pack are all they could be and 25th Anniversary Duke has his share of problems.

So, let’s get the good stuff out of the way first. The sculpt is a great tribute to both the classic figure and the Sunbow design. He’s got his tan shirt with the US Flag patch and his tiny sculpted Airborne medal. The buttons and pockets are all clearly defined on the shirt and I love how his sleeves are rolled up. He’s all ready to dispense some Real American Justice on Cobra’s ass! Duke sports some green trousers that bunch up nicely at the tops of his high laced combat boots and he has a functional holster for his automatic pistol. Yeah! Love those functional holsters. This line must have been some of the first figures in this scale to include that feature. Duke’s iconic ensemble is completed by a shoulder strap with sculpted pouches and a grenade. That seems like more of a modern touch, but hey… it’s nice!

The head sculpt is also pretty good. Duke has a fairly stern expression as if he’s about to crunch some Cobras. They could have gone with something a little more neutral, but I like it. It has personality. The short blonde hair is appropriate and the paintwork is simple but clean. Some of the 25^th JOES’ heads looked a little odd when viewed from the side. I think that was done in an effort to improve the ball joint articulation in the neck. It’s an Ok trade off and if you slap Duke’s helmet onto his noggin it helps a lot with that.

So now we get into the not so great stuff, and most of it centers on his arms. 25^th Duke’s arms have become notorious for just how badly designed they are. Some of the problem lies in the articulation and some in the sculpt. For starters, the way in which the arms are sculpted severely inhibit the range of his ball jointed elbows. You just can’t get them bent into a 90-degree angle. Couple that with the weird decision to put the swivel cuts halfway down the forearm as opposed to in the wrists and you have a pair of arms that are not well suited to holding his rifle. But wait, it gets worse. The sculpt of the right hand is a sloppy and shallow grasp that can barely hold the rifle by the handle, so you may want to save that clear rubber band he comes with. Also, the two hands are obviously sculpted with the intention of allowing Duke to hold the rifle in both hands, but doing so is nearly impossible unless you want to make it look like he’s holding a guitar.  The best I can do is get him to look like he’s about to bash in a Cobra’s head with the butt of the rifle.

As for the rest of the articulation… in the last couple years or so Hasbro has revolutionized the articulation of 3 ¾” figures. Alas, Duke predates that revolution and it isn’t until the 30^th Anniversary figures that things really heated up. There’s a solid level of poseability here, but looking back I find some of the finer points are conspicuously absent. In fact, upon taking this figure out again and playing around with him, I was rather shocked by how far we’ve come. The legs feature double hinges in the knees and and hinges in the ankles, but where are the thigh swivels? Yes, there’s a ball joint in the torso, but where the hell is the waist swivel??? Looking back, the figure definitely has a transitional vibe to it. It shows promise, but sadly it’s not quite there yet.

What about accessories? Duke comes with a personalized figure stand, his rifle, sidearm, removable helmet, and binoculars. The binoculars are tiny and useless. I’m amazed I still have them and I didn’t even bother pulling them for the shoot, lest I sneeze and lose them. The rifle is a nice M-16 style weapon with an under the barrel grenade launcher. As much as I would have appreciated the Sunbow style laser rifle, I can’t help but love the detail on his gun. The pistol feels a tad oversized, but Duke still looks good holding it. What’s missing? Where’s his backpack? Yes, sadly, if you want the modern equivalent of the backpack that came with the vintage figure than you have to buy the single carded release of 25^th Anniversary Duke.

It’s too bad we have to start off this week on a sour note, but it’s hard to overlook Duke’s issues. Don’t get me wrong, I still like this figure a lot as a display piece. To me he captures the spirit of the Sunbow design unlike any Duke figure before or since, but he hasn’t aged as well as some of the other 25^th figures and that’s a shame because it’s only been seven years. You see, I’m old and I try to tell myself that seven years isn’t such a long time. It’s called self-delusion. When coupled with alcohol it’s a valid and sustainable life choice. Anyway, it’s hard to figure out what Hasbro was thinking when they designed the arms on this figure, because a little tweak here and there could have made this release so much batter. Ah well… tomorrow we’ll keep things rolling along with Scarlett.

[Hey, Toyhounds! Today kicks off a six-part feature spotlighting a set of figures that meant a hell of a lot to me when it came out about seven years ago. I honestly wanted to do this feature last week in a more sensible two or three parts, but as it happens I’m going to be away from my computer for the better part of this week and only able to check in with my mobile device. Rather than be MIA, I decided to stretch this little ditty out into a week’s worth of content. Hopefully it’ll turn out to be enough material to carry the week and I can get back to business as usual next Monday. Yo Joe!] 

I’m sure many of you already know that we are in the middle of GI JOE’s 50^th Anniversary year. With the exception of the Sideshow Sixth Scale figures, I don’t cover a lot of JOE stuff around here these days, and much like Hasbro I was going to let the JOE anniversary skate on by without any kind of notable tribute. And then Donald Levine passed and I got to thinking how sad it was for him to shuffle off his mortal coil during such a momentous anniversary year of something he created. It was doubly sad that he had to go without seeing any kind of resurgence or attention given to it by Hasbro. The paltry 50^th Anniversary line that they are offering feels more like an insult than anything else. As a result, I’m dedicating this entire week to a line of toys that I absolutely adored as a kid. Now, obviously the 50^th Anniversary is referring to the birth of the original 12-inch action figure, but after hunting through my closet for something to feature, I decided to go with my 25^th Anniversary Joe 5-pack from 2007!

That’s not to say I don’t have any love for the original 12-inch figures. As a kid, my first action figure collection came in the form of a toy chest full of GI JOE and Mego Planet of the Apes figures along with tons of accessories. There were also a few Evel Knievel and Matt Mason figures in there as well. They were hand-me-downs from my uncle and I loved the hell out of those toys. Sadly, I don’t have any of them anymore, so we’ll have to go with the 3 ¾” figures. The 25th Anniversary figures had some rough patches, but I still loved it and I all but stopped being a serious JOE collector once it went away. I can still remember finding this set on the shelf of my local Target. Somebody had tripped the sound chip on it and I heard the JOE theme playing from a couple aisles down. I had the thing in my cart a few moments later. Little did I know that these sets would be haunting the clearance shelves for over a year. I didn’t care. In fact, I bought a second one and a bunch of the later Cobra sets. Screw the people that didn’t want them… more for me! Anyway, let’s take a look at the packaging today and we’ll look at each of the figures in turn through the rest of the week.

I really dig this package because it feels like something special. Sure, it may fall short in light of all the different exclusives and limited edition releases that some toy companies produce, but for a mass release action figure set sitting on the shelf at Target, the presentation here is absolutely inspired. About the only thing I don’t like about it is the awkward slant of the sides that make it a bitch to store. But that’s Ok, because the only way to really display this set is by using this box as a backdrop behind the figures. It’s also worth mentioning that the box has a snazzy foil look to it that reminds me of the Rhino release of the Transformers DVDs. Maybe it’s subconsciously an 80’s thing. Time and again, I’ve been tempted to just baggie up the figures, put them with my other Joes and deep six this package to save space, but in the end I can never bring myself to do it. How could I throw out a work of art like this? Finding this box on the shelf in the toy aisle nearly struck me down with a bolt of pure nostalgia and it still gives me the warm fuzzies just to take it off the shelf, open it and admire it.

Moving beyond the box, the top flap opens upward to reveal the five figures spread out in the tray and in various action poses. From left to right you get: Duke, Scarlett, Snake Eyes, Roadblock, and Gung Ho. The figures are set against a Sunbow style backdrop, which looks gorgeous, but it’s hard to resist drawing my eyes upward to the bitchin character art on the underside of the front flap, complete with dog tags bearing their names and the fiery explosive background that made that vintage card art so distinctive.

Did I mention that the centerpiece to the display is a plastic GI JOE logo that plays an abbreviated, but otherwise authentic, opening theme to the GI JOE Sunbow cartoon? Yes, this is one of the coolest extras I ever got in an action figure set and you can actually activate it without even opening the front flap on the box. It’s cheesy and goofy, but I’ll be damned if I didn’t push that thing a thousand times while opening this set and setting up the figures for the first time. And yes, I did it this time too. The batteries still work and it still puts a huge smile on my face.

The back of the box features a brilliant and colorful collage of GI JOE characters. It’s like a full color orgasm of my childhood action figure adventures. It even teases us with images of the Terrordrome and the Defiant… toys we’ll never get again. And look there are those two f’ckers playing with their USS Flagg. But more important than all of that, I love the dedication on the back of the box. It’s every bit as cheesy as the recording of the theme song, but it makes me happy all the same. It also makes me sad that just seven years after finding this set at a major retailer, GI JOE has disappeared from the pegs and shelves all together.

And with that somber note, I’ll be back tomorrow to look at the one and only Duke Hauser!