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Episode 5! 2 Dwarves 1 Cup!

I don’t know what 2015 is going to hold for my relationship with Hasbro’s Transformers. I’m not digging a lot of what I see of this whole Combiner Wars line, namely some really lazy transformations and what appear to be further cutbacks on paint apps. Chances are I will own a set of the Stunticons because, well they’re Stunticons and I love Decepticon cars, but right now my resolve is holding fast against purchasing the Aerialbots or that new Voyager Prime. The Legends Class figures, on the other hand, are an entirely different matter. I learned to love this line in 2014 and while these new figures are branded as Combiner Wars, they’re still just regular Generations Legends figures to me. The first wave of these guys looks to be pretty damn solid. Thundercraker and Bombshell are both another step forwad in completing the Insecticon and Seeker teams, plus you get what looks to be a wonderful G1 treatment of Powerglide. And Windcharger is in there too. Yup, he’s in there too. Meh… we’ll get to him eventually, but today I’m kicking off this wave with Bombshell…

AHHHH… NEW PACKAGE DESIGN SHOCK!!! I don’t know where to come down on this. On the one hand nothing about it really shouts Transformers to me, even though it’s emblazoned on vertically along the right side of the card.I guess it’s derivative of the Age of Extinction branding, but I skipped that line, so this packaging is really quite a departure for me. The character art at the top of the card is pretty cool and it still has a Generations tag on it, which I suppose is to separate it from the “Robots in Disguise” line, which will be sharing the pegs. I guess in my mind any departure from the lovely G1 grid of last year’s Generations package is a step in the wrong direction. Either way, I just toss the packaging so in the end I guess it shouldn’t matter.

Inside the package you get the usual folded instruction sheet, but you also get this nifty art card. I actually really dig these. I still have all the art cards that came with my Armada figures. What I don’t dig is the new way Hasbro is securing these figures to the packages. God, these little plastic straps are terrible. What was wrong with the elastic bands? Or the string? I mean they’re not as bad as the old wire twist-ties, but I don’t like them at all. Anyway, Bombshell comes packaged in his robot mode, so I’m going to go ahead and start with that.

And there he is and, holy shit it’s Bombshell! I mean really, really Bombshell!! I can’t say enough good things about this little guy’s robot mode. It’s so streamlined! Most of his bug legs tuck away on the back of his robot legs leaving just a single pair to flare up on his shoulders. They don’ look so much like bug kibble as they do stylish ornamentation. Ok, so Bombshell does have knee guns and that seems kind of out of character and unnecessary to the alt mode. But hey… KNEE GUNS! A few moments ago I didn’t even know knee guns were a thing and now I can’t stop thinking about how awesome it would be to have them. The only downer about this figure is that the cerebro shell cannon on the back of his head can’t be angled forward. It either points straight up or can be tucked away on his back.

I’m not a big fan of the bare grey plastic used for his crotchular region or his thighs, but the sumptuous metallic purple and goldish-yellow paint more than makes up for it. Throw in the black and some red painted panels on the sides of his legs and you have one striking Decepticon deco. Black and purple… you can’t go wrong with that if you’re a ‘Con.

Articulation? This little guy has it spades. You get ball joints in the shoulders, elbows, and hips and hinges in the knees and swivels just above the knees. He’s a fun little action figure through and through!

Bombshell features a pretty easy transformation, especially when compared to the figity conversion of his forerunner, Skrapnel. In fact, it’s pretty similar to the G1 toy’s transformation. The result is a beetle that is every bit as solid a G1 homage as the robot mode. I mean, damn Hasbro, I could buy figures like this all day long!

But wait… I put him next to Generations Skrapnel and… what’s this? ARGGHHHHH! Why does the paint scheme not match??? I can’t tell you how much this sort of thing ticks me off. On his own Bombshell is an absolutely splendid and gorgeous figure, but the goldish-yellow clashes with Skrapnel’s yelloe-yellow. WHY, PRIMUS? WHY??? Eh, I can get over it. Truth is these are both really great updates to my beloved Insecticons, but it’s still clear that there’s a little gap of engineering and design between the two releases.

For as big a fan of the G1 Insecticons as I am, this new version of Bombshell is like a gift from the Gods. It’s also just another reason as to why I love these modern Legends Class figures so damn much. Sure, I would have preferred to get Insecticons released in the Deluxe Class, but I’ll take what I can get. He’s actually a bit taller and beefier than Skrapnel and I can just about spin enough logic to convince me that Insecticons should be a little on the smaller size and so I’m perfectly fine displaying these guys alongside my War For Cybertron Megatron and Soundwave and the Fall of Cybertron Seekers. I really hope Kickback isn’t too far off.

Ok, Toyhounds, we’re in the home stretch of this shit. My Final Five most disappointing purchases of 2014. We’ve waded through some real poop and heartbreak to get here so let’s dig deeper into the muck. And speaking of muck, our first stop is Dagobah!

Star Wars Black (3 ¾” Scale) Luke Skywalker and Yoda by Hasbro: I know, the 6-inch Star Wars Black series already got its comeuppance on this list, but the 3 3/4” line produced so much garbage last year, there’s no way I could let it go without its own mention. The cream of the crap was this pair of figures based on the Dagobah training scene in Empire Strikes Back. Yes, even though these were sold separately, they go together so I went with both of them. Remember this guy? It’s the Luke featuring some crazy-looking double-hinged spaghetti arms. It was like Hasbro was trying to tell us, “See? Better articulation isn’t always a good thing. NOW YOU WILL SUCK DOWN OUR 5-POA FIGURES AND LIKE IT!” Yoda, on the other hand was just a poor effort across the board, although he looks like a masterpiece next to Luke. Even pairing these together didn’t work out so well because the backpack was so damn huge. Here was an example of the old Original Trilogy Collection figures doing this pair better and that was about ten years ago… and they both game with little diorama figure stands!

One Piece Nami Bootleg Statue by Bootlegging Assholes: Purchased with confidence that this was going to be one of MegaHouse’s beautiful works of art in plastic, I instead got saddled with a terrible, waxy knock off. And therein is what makes this spot on the list rather special. It’s not just me picking on what is a truly inferior bootleg, but more importantly my way of saying “shame on you, Amazon, for selling it to me.” It’s not like I bought this from some shady crook who just happened to use Amazon Marketplace for his nefarious deeds. No sir. This was one of those “ships from seller but fulfilled my Amazon” deals. So, how or why does Amazon have a stack of bootleg product in their warehouse? I’m still looking for an answer to that one. Not only was this purchase thoroughly disappointing, I still don’t have the real version of this statue, but it’s made me look at every import I buy from Amazon now with a suspicious eye. Ah well, thankfully they have easy returns and I sent fake Nami right back from wence she came.

DC Signature Collection Ice by Mattel: Seriously, Mattel? SERIOUSLY??? What the hell is up with this figure. It’s not bad enough that the portrait sculpt went south, but she’s got so many seams on her face from the casting process that it looks like she went head first through a windshield. It’s sad to think that after so many excellent DC Universe Classics figures, it all comes down to this unfortunate plastic rendering of Ice. Sure, I still have older figures to hunt down, but for me Ice will forever be the last new release that I bought for this collection and she’s a bitter pill. And at around $25, I even paid what I consider a premium for her. The portrait is just so damn rough and the paint on the costume looks like it was applied by the night shift… at the end of the night shift.

Marvel Legends: Gamora by Hasbro: Let’s not beat around the bush, Hasbro put out a lot of shit last year and some of it was from the Marvel Legends line. Oddly enough, the two I considered for this list were not terrible figures, but rather figures that just didn’t live up to their potential. Those two were Winter Soldier and Gamora.  I went with Gamora because most of my beefs with Bucky lie in his ridiculous choice of weapons. Gamora on the other hand is a swing and a miss across the board. Maybe that’s too harsh. Maybe she’s a bunt. The likeness just isn’t there and she can barely stand on her own. When you compare her to the excellent Star-Lord, Drax, and Groot (and I still think Rocket was OK), Gamora lets the whole team down.

Starfire by DC Collectibles: Here’s one that pissed me off so much that I haven’t even featured it yet. Starfire sure looked great in the box when I first got her. Great sculpt, great paint… she was an all around beauty. Then I opened up the box, took her out and her shoulder pads kept popping off. Then her right arm pulled right out of the socket. I returned her and got another one. And the same exact thing happened. In the end, I decided to just glue the shoulder back on and put her back in the box. DCC used some real shitty clear plastic for these joints, so I don’t see any reason to believe my third try will be any better. And it’s a real shame because both the Red Hood and Arsenal figures were all around excellent. Oh well, at least I got a nice Starfire from Kotobukiya last year!

Epilogue: FFZ in 2015…

And that wraps up FFZ’s Fourth Annual Week of Favorites and Disappointments. I hope you enjoyed celebrating my wins and wallowing in my pain, or wallowing in my wins and celebrating my pain. Hey, whichever works for you.

All in all it was a great year for my collection, but I did come away from 2014 recognizing some emerging patterns in my buying habits. It was the year that almost entirely weened me off of buying toys at retail. The distribution here is so bad and the nearest Toys R Us and comic shop are too far away for me to visit regularly. In 2013 I’d say about only about 35% of the toys I bought came from brick and mortar stores. In 2014 I’d say that shrank to about 5% or less. That’s no exaggeration. I used to specifically go out of my way to Walmart or Target to do my grocery shopping so I could cruise through the toy aisles once a week. Now I don’t even bother. Almost everything comes from online. The last figure I can remember buying at retail was at a Walgreens. Do the math!

Which leads me to the other noticeable trend… I find myself continuing to move away from the “mass market” stuff. Is it a question of switching over to quality vs quantity? Well, not intentionally, but that seems to be how it’s shaping up. Most of my old toy lines have either left me or let me down. Three years ago I was still collecting GI JOE. Now its gone. Also gone… DC Universe Classics, the 5-inch Doctor Who line, and it looks like Hasbro’s 3 3/4” Marvel line may not be coming back. Masters Classics is entering its last year, and I suspect the Marvel Legends offerings in 2015 will be scaled way back as Hasbro continues to test the waters with this 2.5-inch craziness. With Generations gone, I see myself being extremely choosey about which Hasbro Transformers I buy this year. I’m definitely skipping “Robots in Disguise,” which after “Age of Extinction” will be only the second Transformers line I completely skipped since the whole damn thing started back in ’84.

But its not all doom and gloom. In place of these I am diverting more funds to higher end things. Whether it be ArtFX or Bishoujo, my appetite for Kotobukiya’s statues cannot be satisfied. I’ve taken gateway drugs for both Figma and S.H. Figuarts. I currently have no less than six Hot Toys figures on pre-order right now, not to mention another four Sideshow Sixth-Scale figures. And don’t even get me started on 3rd Party Transformers, Masterpiece Transformers, and LEGO.

What does all this mean? You may see a tonal shift in FFZ in 2015. It’s probably already started, but what was subtle and gradual last year might be more noticeable this year. It also might mean me eventually switching over to fewer updates a week, but as I stare at the huge pile of unopened figures in the corner, I realize something like that is a long way off, if it happens at all.

Anyway, I just wanted to finish up by expressing my gratitude to everyone who stops by and reads my nonsense, drops me emails, hits me up on Twitter, or comments on my features. I’ve got to know some great people in the nearly four years that I’ve been doing this and I’m most appreciative of all the support and criticism I’ve received.

Also… My first life lesson for 2015: Don’t try to sort LEGO with a cat around.

 FigureFeline’s motto is “If it fits, I sits!”

Have a great weekend, and I’ll be back on Monday to kick off 2015 proper like, with a return to business as usual.

-FigureFan

It’s easy to come up with a list of favorite purchases for a year and tough to grind it down to just ten things. In fact, if I get one common criticism on my features, it’s that I’m usually too forgiving about the toys I feature. But there’s a reason for that… I buy things that I’m pretty sure I’m going to like. Nobody’s sending me stuff to review and everything featured on FFZ is something I went out and bought because I wanted it and I genuinely expected to like it. After all, I don’t throw my monies around all willy-nilly. And so coming up with a list of ten stinkers isn’t as easy, because if something looks bad to me, I generally won’t buy it. Nonetheless, I was finally able to scrape up ten things that really let me down in 2014, and today we look at the first five in no particular order…

Doctor Who 3 3/4” Amy Pond by Character Options: This figure is a piece of garbage. It’s got a passable sculpt, at least compared to some of the others in this line, but everything else about it feels like it came out of a .25 cent capsule machine at the supermarket. (Do they still have those? Am I dating myself? Am I playing too much Shenmue???) Poor Amy’s legs are all warped to the point where she can’t stand on her own and the arms are ready to pull out of the biceps if I manipulate them at all. It’s nice that Doctor Who figures can be purchased in the US, even if it is at Walgreens, but it’s a shame that it has to be this kind of crap. CO did such wonderful things with this license in the 5-inch scale, but if this is the best they can do now, they need to give it up and let someone else have a go.

Star Wars Black: 6-inch Scale Darth Vader by Hasbro: Let me say that I don’t think Vader here is the worst figure this line put out in 2014. Obi-Wan was worse, the Clone Trooper wasn’t great, and Jedi Luke was pretty weak. But Vader graces this list for two reasons. First, he’s not that far from being a good figure. Forget the removable mask, slap a decent helmeted head on him, give him a hook to hang his lightsaber on, and I could have gotten behind this guy. If he were just pure crap, I could have moved on, but he was soooo close. Second, HE’S DARTH F’CKING VADER, Hasbro… you’re doing him for the first time in 6-inch scale. This is a collector line. Put some god damn effort into him!!!! Nobody wanted to compromise a decent and accurate head sculpt in favor of a removable mask. Oh yeah, Slave Leia gets (dis)honorable mention for clogging up the pegs and Jabba gets it for being a stripped down trade release that was criminally overpriced.

Star Trek Federation – The First 150 Years: Here’s an oddity to this list because it’s not a toy or statue and it’s not something I actually featured on FFZ. It’s a book, and it was disappointing enough to make me want to list it here. As a big Trek fan, I had my eye on this thing since it first came out a couple of years back, but it was released at like $100. Even when it turned up at the local bookstore on clearance for $50, I didn’t bite. When it hit $20 on Amazon, I finally picked it up and all I can say is I’m sure glad I didn’t pay any more for it because it was a huge letdown. The electronic base is neat, the book itself makes for an enjoyable night’s read, but it’s got at least a couple glaring errors in the canon and a lot of it isn’t terribly interesting. It’s also ridiculously short for such an expensive book and only a few pieces of the original art struck me as all that memorable. I will eventually get around to featuring this thing on FFZ in the weeks ahead, probably on a bonus weekend feature, but now that I’ve spent $20 on it and read it, I have no idea where to even put it.

Masters of the Universe Classics Double-Mischief by Mattel: The moment I opened up Double-Mischief I knew she was going to land on this list. That’s saying something, because I’m someone who can find something to love in just about every MOTUC figure I get. Even Extendor, a figure I was not at all smitten with, had his good points. Double-Mischief is just a terrible design and terribly executed. She’s ugly, sloppily painted, and I hate her. Even The Star Sisters relentlessly make fun of her. But hey, considering how many Masters Classics figures I got in 2014, one bad one isn’t at all a bad track record… but oh, boy is she bad.

Transformers Generations Legends Class Megatron by Hasbro: 2014 was a great year for me and Hasbro’s Transformers and possibly the swan song of our relationship. But besides all the great Deluxes and Voyagers, 2014 was also the year I started collecting the Legends Class figures and damn if they didn’t impress the hell out of me. That is all but one. “Til all are one!!!!” NO, DAMMIT! I SAID, “ALL BUT ONE!!!” That one was Megatron. Where do I even begin with this guy? I don’t like his colors, I don’t like the ugly bare gray plastic, I don’t like that his joints come apart almost every time I transform him, and his alt mode is just as blah. I try not to be too hard on these little guys, but with so many of the Legends Class releases turning out to be wonderful little gems, Megatron just doesn’t make the cut. At least he came with Chop Shop. Chop Shop’s cool. He can hang with me.

Blah… that’s enough bad taste in my mouth for one day. I’m going to go scrape my tongue. Join me tomorrow as I wrap up this week of canned tomfoolery with the Final Five of my most disappointing purchases of 2014…